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I recently asked a whole bunch of parents of disabled children, and disabled people themselves, what they think of as some of the most inappropriate or downright offensive language that they have heard or experienced as a result of their own or their childâs disability.
The result was a huge discussion that produced a massive list of words and phrases, far more than there is space for in this blog post, although Iâve included a list of some of the most quoted ones belowâŠ
What also emerged is that there isnât universal agreement on some of this; some words, labels and descriptions are owned by some people and anathema to others.
What is clear, however, is that first and foremost, disabled people (of any age) have the right to use whatever words, labels, descriptions etc. that they feel are applicable for them, and nobody has the right to tell them that they are wrong.
So, caveats all in place, hereâs just some of the words that people mentioned, starting with the ones used to belittle, diminish, put down, be nasty to, or otherwise insult disabled children (and indeed adults too). Iâve sorted them alphabetically, and even just doing that I was deeply troubled by this listâŠ
Antisocial
Bad (as in âbad behaviourâ)
Behind
Cold
Crazy
Cruel
Cursed
Dangerous
Defective
Disruptive
Doesnât care (also, âlacks empathyâ)
Dumb
Freak
Has âissuesâ
Idiot
Lame (as in dull, uninspiring; see other use below)
Naughty
Not normal
Pitiful
Rude
Slow
Strange
Stupid
Ugly
Waste of space
Wrong (as in âsomething is wrong with themâ)
(There were many more words than this sent to me, Iâve only included a selection here)
A few other words came up that have historical use, and which should be consigned to history, but it seems are still in use by some people today, including professionals who should know betterâŠ
Handicapped
Retarded
Spastic
A few people picked up on words that are used in literature, even in fairly modern versions of the Bible for example, such asâŠ
Cripple
Lame (as in walks with difficulty, see other use above)
Other words or phrases that deserve their own category include theseâŠ
A bit special⊠(as in âtheyâre a bit specialâ, or âa bit Autisticâ or âa bit OCDâ, for example)
Doesnât look⊠(as in, âhe doesnât look Autistic to meâ, usually by someone with no relevant experience)
Fits (rather than the more encompassing âseizuresâ that reflects the wide range of seizure activity)
Has e.g. Autism (rather than âis Autisticâ. Itâs not possible to âhave Autismâ any more than it is possible to âhave gayâ or âhave femaleâ)
High/Low Functioning etc. especially related to Autism (generally falling out of use, often unhelpful)
Mum/Dad (when being referred to by professionals)
Non-verbal (rather than âlimited functional verbal languageâ which recognises that some sounds are still communication)
Service user/Client (when being referred to by professionals)
Severe (when in reference to e.g. Autism, ADHD, or other neurodivergences)
Suffers/Sufferer (as in, âshe suffers from Cerebral Palsyâ)
Wheelchair âboundâ (rather that âuses a wheelchairâ)
There is also a wide debate as to what the most appropriate phrase to use is out ofâŠ
Special Needs vs Additional (Learning/Support) Needs vs Disability/Disabled
âDisabilityâ is a term defined in law (paraphrasing the Equality Act 2010 ) as a physical or mental impairment.
The effect on normal day to day activities is substantial and long term.
A child or adult who is disabled, whether this is a physical, mental, or other disability, experiences a substantial loss or limitation of the opportunity to participate in everyday life and do normal day to day activities on an equal level to that of their peers due to barriers resulting from their disability (or societal barriers due to lack of adequate accessibility).
The terms âSpecial Needsâ or âAdditional Needsâ (âAdditional Learning Needsâ in Wales, âAdditional Support Needsâ in Scotland) are less clearly defined, and although âAdditional Needsâ is generally in wider use now, âSpecial Educational Needsâ or SEN (sometimes âSENDâ adding Disability on the end) is in common use when referring to school age children.
What was generally agreed on is that terms such as âdifferently abledâ shouldnât be used.
Almost finally, a helpful website was suggested that adds some further thoughts to this conversation:Â https://www.languagecreatesreality.com/
And finally, just a reminder that some of the above is open to debate, discussion and polite disagreement.
As I mentioned at the beginning, it is up to disabled children and adults themselves to decide what terms to use (or not use) regarding themselves, and however passionate we might be about stopping or promoting the use of certain words and phrases, we should all respect the rights of each individual to use what they feel is right for them.
As for me, Iâll let my last words on this not actually be mine but T.S. Eliotâs, âFor last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice.â
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