Izindlela zokuba umzali zihlukile njengabazali uqobo, kanti olunye uhlobo oludumile kakhulu yisifaniso seMhlabeleli Womzali. Le ndlela ihlukile kakhulu ku-"Tiger Parenting" futhi igxile ekondleni, ekuvikeleni, nasekusizeni izingane njengoba zikhula. Njengendlovu eqondisa futhi evikela inzalo yayo endle, Abazali Abahlabelelisi bagcizelela ukufudumeleka ngokomzwelo, ukukhuthaza, nokukhulisa ukuzethemba. Ake sihlole izimpawu ezingase zibonise ukuthi ungumzali Oyindlovu nokuthi lolu hlobo lokuba umzali luquketheni.
Kuyini Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu?
Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu kubonakala ngokugxila kakhulu ekuxhumekeni ngokomzwelo nasekuqondiseni ngobumnene. Kubeka phambili ukudala indawo ephephile neyesekayo lapho izingane zizizwa zithandwa, zibalulekile, futhi zikhululekile ukukhula ngejubane lazo. Ngenkathi le ndlela ikhuthaza ukuzimela, igwema ukujeziswa ngokhahlo noma izimiso eziqinile kakhulu. Kunalokho, ikhuthaza ukubekezela, uzwela, nokuqonda.
Izimpawu Ezingase Zibonise Ukuthi Ungumzali Oyindlovu
1. Uyakwazisa Ukuxhumana Ngokomzwelo
Abazali Abahlabelelisi babeka phambili ukudala izibopho eziqinile ngokomzwelo nezingane zabo. Wenza umzamo wokuba khona, ulalele ngenkuthalo, futhi uqinisekise imizwa yengane yakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bajabule, badabukile, noma badidekile, ulwela ukubenza bazizwe beqondwe futhi besekelwe.
2. Unobumnene Kodwa Uqinile
Ngenkathi ubeka imingcele, usondela ekujeziseni ngobumnene kunokuba ujise. Kunokusebenzisa ukwesaba noma intukuthelo ukulungisa ukuziphatha, uqondisa ingane yakho ngezincazelo ezolile nemiphumela yemvelo, uyisiza ukuba ifunde emaphutheni ayo.
3. Ukhuthaza Ukuhlola Nokudlala
Njengendlovu eqondisa ithole layo, uvumela ingane yakho inkululeko yokuhlola ngenkathi uyiqaphela. Uyakwazisa ukudlala njengengxenye ebalulekile yokukhula nokuthuthuka kwayo, ukhuthaza ilukuluku nokudala.
4. Awukholelwa Ekubeni Umzali Ophoqayo
Abazali Abahlabelelisi bagwema ukucindezela izingane zabo ukuba zifinyelele izigaba ezithile zokufunda noma zangaphandle zesikole. Uthemba ukuthi ingane yakho izofinyelela izigaba zokukhula lapho isilungele, futhi ugxila ekulweni kwayo konke kunokuba agxile ekuphileni kwayo okuthile.
5. Uvikela Ingane Yakho Ekucindezelekeni Okungadingekile
Uyakholelwa ekuvikeleni ingane yakho ekucindezelweni okungadingekile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuvela esikoleni, ezidingweni zomphakathi, noma ekuqhathanisweni nabanye. Kunalokho, ugcizelela ukuzamukela nokugubha ubunikazi bengane yakho.
6. Ukhuthaza Uzwela Nobumnene
Abazali Abahlabelelisi bayisibonelo futhi bakhuthaza uzwela, bafundisa izingane zabo ukuba ziphathe abanye ngobumnene nangenhlonipho. Cishe nina ninezingxoxo mayelana nemizwa, uzwela, nokuqonda imibono ehlukene.
7. Uyasekela Kakhulu Ngezikhathi Zezinselele
Lapho ingane yakho ikhandleka, uwena onendlela yokuyisekela kakhulu. Awuzami ukuxazulula yonke inkinga yona, kodwa uyayinika isiqondiso, isiqinisekiso, nokukhuthazwa eyidingayo ukuze inqobe izithiyo ngokwayo.
Izinzuzo Zokuba Umzali Oyindlovu
1. Izibopho Eziqinile Zokomzwelo
Izingane ezikhuliswe Abazali Abahlabelelisi zivame ukuthuthukisa ukuvikeleka okujulile ngokomzwelo. Zizwa ziphephile ukwabelana ngemicabango nemizwa yazo, okuqinisa ubudlelwano bomzali nengane.
2. Ukuzethemba Okunempilo
Le ndlela yokondla ikhuthaza ukuzethemba nokuzithanda. Ngokugubha imizamo yengane yakho kunokuba ugubhe imiphumela yayo nje, uyisiza ukuba yakhe ukukhuthazela nesithombe esihle ngayo.
3. Ukulawula Okungcono Kwezimzwa
Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu kufundisa izingane indlela yokucubungula nokubonisa imizwa yazo ngezindlela ezinempilo. Zifunda ngokubona indlela yakho ezolile neyomzwelo yokuxazulula izinkinga.
4. Ikhuthaza Ukuzimela
Ngenkathi Abazali Abahlabelelisi behileleke kakhulu, baphinde bakhuthaze ukuzimela. Ngokunikeza indawo ephephile yokuhlola, izingane zizizwa zinamandla okuthatha ubungozi nokufunda emakhono azo.
Izinselele Zokuba Umzali Oyindlovu
1. Ukulinganisa Ukuvikelwa Nokuzimela
Kungaba inselele ukulinganisa phakathi kokuvikela ingane yakho nokuyivumela ukuba ibhekane nezinselele ezifanele iminyaka yayo. Ukuvikela kakhulu ngezinye izikhathi kungavimbela ukukhula kwayo.
2. Ukuhumusha Kabi Njengokuphathelisa Ngaphezu Kwemvelo
Abanye bangase bahumushe kabi Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu njengokuthambile kakhulu noma okuvumelayo. Nokho, le ndlela imayelana nokusekela nokuqondisa, hhayi ukumosha noma ukukhuthaza ukuziphatha okubi.
3. Ukufuna Amandla Okomzwelo
Ukunikeza ukusekelwa okungaguquki ngokomzwelo kudinga isikhathi, ukubekezela, namandla, okungakwazi ukukhathaza abazali, ikakhulukazi lapho kulinganiswa neminye imithwalo yemfanelo.
Indlela Yokuzilolonga Ngokuba Umzali Oyindlovu
1. Beka Phambili Ukuxhumana Okungavinjelwe
Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba yabelane ngemicabango nemizwa yayo ngokusobala. Lalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela futhi uqinisekise imizwa yayo, ngisho nalapho ubeka imingcele.
2. Sebenzisa Ukujeziswa Okuhle
Kunokuba ujise ngokuziphatha okubi, gxila ekufundiseni izifundo ngemiphumela enengqondo nasekuqondiseni ingane yakho ukuba yenze izinqumo ezingcono ngokuzayo.
3. Gubha Ubunikazi
Gwema ukuqhathanisa ingane yakho nabanye. Yamukela amandla nezithandwa zayo eziyingqayizivele, uyisekele ekuphishekeleni okuyijabulisayo nokuyifezayo.
4. Khuthaza Ukuxazulula Izinkinga
Lapho ingane yakho ibhekana nezinselele, yenza umzamo wokungayilungiseli yonke into. Kunalokho, buza imibuzo eqondisayo eyisiza ukuba icabange ngokujulile futhi ithole izixazululo ngokuzimela.
5. Hola Ngokwesibonelo
Yisibonelo sokuziphatha ofuna ingane yakho ikwamukele. Bonisa ubumnene, ukubekezela, nozwela ekuxhumaneni kwakho nabanye, njengoba ingane yakho izofunda lezi zimiso ngokukubuka.
Isiphetho
Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu kusho ukwamukela indima yakho njengomqondisi onothando, ovikelayo, nonozwelo wengane yakho. Kumayelana nokudala indawo ephephile lapho ingane yakho ingahlola, ikhule, futhi ithuthukise ukuzethemba ukuze ibhekane nezinselele zokuphila. Ngenkathi lolu hlobo lokuba umzali ludinga ukubekezela nomzamo, lukhulisa abantu abaphephile ngokomzwelo nabanezinhlangothi eziningi abakhula ngokwabelana ngothando nokuqonda.
Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo
1. Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu kwehluke kanjani kwezinye izindlela zokuba umzali?
Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu kugxila ekondleni nasekusekeleni ngokomzwelo kunokuba kusemithethweni eqinile (njengeTiger Parenting) noma ukuzimela ngokuphelele (njengeFree-Range Parenting). Kulinganisa isiqondiso nokuqapha futhi kubeka uzwela phambili.
2. Ingabe Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu kungasebenzela zonke izingane?
Yebo, kodwa kubalulekile ukushintsha indlela yakho ngokuya ngobuntu obuhlukile nasezidingweni zengane yakho. Ngenkathi izimiso eziyinhloko zozwela nokusekela zihlala zifana, ukuguquguquka kubalulekile.
3. Ingabe Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu kuthambile kakhulu?
Cha, Ukuba Umzali Oyindlovu akusona isimo sokuvumela. Kuhlangana ukufudumeleka nokondla nemingcele eqinile, kufundisa izingane ukuziphendulela nokuzimela endaweni esekelayo.
4. Ngingakulinganisa kanjani ukuvikela ingane yami nokuyivumela ukuba ithathe ubungozi?
Khuthaza ubungozi obufanele iminyaka yabo ngenkathi unikeza isiqondiso. Ngokwesibonelo, vumela ingane yakho izame umsebenzi omusha kodwa uhlale eduze ukuze unikeze ukusekelwa uma kudingeka. Kancane kancane ukhulise ukuzimela kwayo njengoba ikhula.
5. Ingabe bobabili abazali bangakwazi ukuzilolonga Ngokuba Umzali Oyindlovu?
Ngempela. Kusebenza kangcono lapho bobabili abazali bewamukela lo mbono, bedala indawo engaguquki, enothando. Ngisho noma omunye umzali engumqondo onothando, omunye angase amukele lezi zindlela ukuze aqinise ubudlelwano bomndeni.
