Ukuba umzali onesandla esiqinileyo, okwazi ukulawula, yilapho abazali beka khona izinto eziningi okumele zenziwe izingane zabo ngaphandle kokushiya indawo yokuba nokuguquguquka. Le ndlela ibeka phambili ukuqondiswa, ukulalela, kanye nesakhiwo esiqinile kunokukhulisa kanye nokukhuluma okuvulekile. Nakuba lokhu kungaveza izingane eziqeqeshekile nezinomthwalo wemfanelo, kungase kubangele nezinselele ezingokomzwelo kanye nobudlelwano obunzima phakathi komzali nengane uma kusetsizwa ngokweqile.
Ukuqonda izici, imiphumela, kanye namasu okubhekana nokuba umzali onesandla esiqinile kungasiza abazali bathole indlela elinganiselayo ekhuthaza kokubili isakhiwo nokuxhumana ngokomzwelo.
Izici Zokuba Umzali Onesandla Esibukhali
1. Imithetho Eqinile kanye Nezinto Okumele Zenziwe Eziphakeme
Abazali abanobushiqela bavame ukuba nemithetho ecacile, eqinile okumele izingane ziyilandele ngaphandle kokungabaza. Kugxilwe ekugcineni ukuhleleka nokuqondisa.
Isibonelo: “Kumele uqede umsebenzi wakho wesikole ngaphambi kwesidlo sakusihlwa, akukho okuhlukile.”
2. Indawo Encane Yokuxoxisana
Abazali abasebenzisa lesi sitayela bavame ukungakhuthazi noma benqabe izingxoxo noma imibono evela ezinganeni zabo mayelana nemithetho noma izinto okumele zenziwe.
Isibonelo: “Ngoba ngishilo kanjalo,” yimpendulo evame ukunikezwa emibuzweni noma ezinseleleni.
3. Isijeziso Kunokuqondisa
Abazali abanobushiqela bavame ukuthembela esijezisweni kunokuqondisa ukuze baqinisekise imithetho, bephakamisa imiphumela yokungalaleli.
Isibonelo: Ukuthatha amalungelo noma ukunikeza izinhlawulo ezinzima ngamaphutha amancane.
4. Ukungabi Nobudlelwano Obungokomzwelo
Lesi sitayela sokuba umzali sivame ukungabi nokufudumala noma ukukhulisa ngokomzwelo. Abazali abanobushiqela bangase babonakale bekude noma bengenakufinyeleleka, begxile kakhulu ekulawuleni kunokuxhumana.
Isibonelo: Ukuveza uthando noma ukuba nezingxoxo ezivulekile ngemizwa kuya ngokuphawulekayo kungavamile.
5. Ukugcizelela Ukuhlonipha Nokulalela
Ukuhlonipha igunya kuyisisekelo sokuba umzali onesandla esiqinile, lapho izingane kulindeleke ukuba zihambisane ngaphandle kokungabaza.
Isibonelo: “Ungangiphenduli.”
Imiphumela Yokuba Umzali Onesandla Esibukhali Ezinganeni
Nakuba ukuba umzali onesandla esiqinile kungakhiqiza izingane eziqeqeshekile nezinolalelo, kungaba nemiphumela engahleliwe.
Imiphumela Emihle
- Ukuqeqesha Nokuhleleka: Izingane ezikhuliswe endaweni yobushiqela zivame ukuthuthukisa amakhono aqinile okuhleleka nokuhlonipha imithetho.
- Impumelelo Ephakeme: Isakhiwo esiqinile singaholela ezinganeni ezithile ukuba zifune impumelelo ukuze zizuze ukwamukelwa ngabazali.
Imiphumela Emibi
- Ukuzethemba Okuncane: Izingane zingase zizwe ukuthi imibono noma imizwa yazo ayibalulekile, okuholela ekunciphiseni ukuzethemba nokuzihlonipha.
- Ukwesaba Ukwehluleka: Ingcindezi engapheli yokuhlangabezana nezinto okumele zenziwe eziphakeme ingadala ukukhathazeka nokwesaba ukwenza amaphutha.
- Ubunzima Bokwenza Izinqumo: Ngaphandle kwamathuba okuveza imibono yabo noma ukwenza izinqumo, izingane zingase zibe nobunzima ngokuzimela.
- Ubudlelwano Obunzima: Ukuntuleka kokufudumala ngokomzwelo nokukhulumisana okuvulekile kungadala ubudlelwano obukude noma obubudlabha phakathi komzali nengane.
- Ukuvukela Umbuso noma Inzondo: Ezinye izingane zingase zikhohlwe isakhiwo esiqinile, okuholela ekuziphatheni okungahlelekile noma inzondo kubantu abanegunya.
Izibonelo Zokuba Umzali Onesandla Esibukhali Ekusebenziseni
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Isimo: Ingane icela ukuhlala ngaphandle imizuzu engu-30 ngaphezu kwesikhathi esibekiwe ukuze iqede iphrojekthi yesikole nomngane.
- Impendulo Eyi-Authoritarian: “Cha. Isikhathi sokuvala umnyango ngu-9 PM, futhi uzohlaliswa endlini uma ufika sekwephuzile.”
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Isimo: Ingane ithola u-B+ esivivinyweni esikhundleni sika-A obekulindelekile.
- Impendulo Eyi-Authoritarian: “Awusebenzanga kanzima ngokwanele. Kumele ufunde kakhulu ngokuzayo.”
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Isimo: Ingane ichitha ijusi etafuleni ngephutha.
- Impendulo Eyi-Authoritarian: “Uhlala unganaki. Hamba uye ekamelweni lakho.”
Ukwehluka Phakathi Kokuba Umzali Onesandla Esibukhali Nezinye Izitayela Zokuba Umzali
1. Ukuba Umzali Olawulayo
- Umzali Onesandla Esibukhali: Ugxila ekulawuleni, indawo encane yokuxoxisana noma yokuguquguquka.
- Umzali Olawulayo: Uhlanganisa izinto okumele zenziwe eziphakeme nokufudumala, ukusekela, kanye nokuxhumana okuvulekile.
2. Ukuba Umzali Olulela Kakhulu
- Umzali Onesandla Esibukhali: Uqinisekisa imithetho eqinile nemiphumela.
- Umzali Olulela Kakhulu: Imithetho embalwa noma imingcele, ngokuvamile uvamile ukuba nolulela kakhulu.
3. Ukuba Umzali Onganaki
- Umzali Onesandla Esibukhali: Ubandakanyeka kakhulu kodwa ulawula ngokweqile.
- Umzali Onganaki: Ubandakanyeka kancane noma akanaki izidingo zengane.
Ungakuqaphela Kanjani Uma Ungumzali Onesandla Esibukhali
- Ingabe uvame ukusho ukuthi, “Ngoba ngishilo kanjalo,” lapho ingane yakho ibuza imithetho?
- Ingabe ubeka phambili ukulalela kunenhlalakahle engokomzwelo yengane yakho?
- Ingabe awuligxili kakhulu ukuncoma futhi ugxeka kakhulu amaphutha?
- Ingabe uthembele esijezisweni kunokuxoxisana ukuze ulungise ukuziphatha?
Uma uphendule ngoyebo kule mibuzo, kungenzeka ukuthi uncike esitayeleni sokuba umzali onesandla esiqinile.
Ungahamba Kanjani Ukuya Endleleni Elinganiselayo
1. Vula Imigqa Yokuxhumana
Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba yabelane ngemicabango nemizwa yayo. Lalela ngaphandle kokuxosha ngokushesha noma ukujezisa.
Isibonelo: Uma ingane yakho ibuza umthetho, chaza isizathu sakho bese ucabangela umbono wayo.
2. Gxila Ekuziphatheni, Hhayi Esijezisweni
Faka esikhundleni izijeziso ezinzima ngemiphumela enengqondo efundisa izifundo ezibalulekile.
Isibonelo: Uma ingane yakho ikhohlwa umsebenzi wayo wesikole, umphumela ungaba yingxoxo mayelana nokuhleleka kunokuyivalela endlini.
3. Khombisa Ukufudumala Nothando
Linganisa ukuqeqesha ngosekelo olungokomzwelo ngokuvusa uthando, ukukhuthazela, nokuncoma.
Isibonelo: “Ngiyazi ukuthi uzama konke okusemandleni akho, futhi ngiyaziqhenya ngomzamo wakho.”
4. Bandakanya Ingane Yakho Ekuthathweni Kwezinqumo
Vumela ingane yakho ukuba ibe nelizwi ezinqumweni eziyithintayo, kukhuthaza ukuzimela nokucabanga okujulile.
Isibonelo: “Ake sixoxe ukuthi ungalinganisa kanjani imisebenzi yakho nesikhathi sokufunda.”
5. Beka Imithetho Ecacile Kodwa Engaguquguquki
Beka imithetho enikeza isakhiwo kodwa evumela ukuguquguquka okufanele kususelwe ezimweni.
Isibonelo: “Isikhathi sakho sokulala ngu-9 PM, kodwa uma uqeda iphrojekthi, singasandisa ngemizuzu engu-15.”
Nini Ukuba Umzali Onesandla Esibukhali Kungaba Usizo
Kwezinye izimo, izici zokuba umzali onesandla esibukhali zingaba usizo, ikakhulukazi uma ukuphepha noma ukuqeqesha kubalulekile. Ngokwesibonelo:
- Phakathi kwezimo eziphuthumayo, lapho kudingeka khona ukulalela ngokushesha
- Ukuze kufundiswe izingane ezincane ngemithetho yokuphepha, njengokungagijimeli emgwaqeni
- Ezindaweni ezihlelekile, njengemidlalo noma izilungiselelo zemfundo
Okusemqoka ukusebenzisa lezi zindlela ngokuqaphela nokuzilinganisa nokufudumala nokuqonda.
Isiphetho
Ukuba umzali onesandla esibukhali ugxila ekuqeqesheni, ekulawuleni, nasezintweni eziningi okumele zenziwe, kodwa futhi kungadala izinselele ekuxhumekeni ngokomzwelo nasekuzimeleni. Ngokuhlanganisa izici zokufudumala, ukuguquguquka, nokukhulumisana okuvulekile, abazali bangagcina isakhiwo ngenkathi bekhuthaza ukwethemba nokuqina ezinganeni zabo. Ukufuna indlela elinganiselayo kuqinisekisa ukuthi izingane zikhula zizethembile, zinokuphepha ngokomzwelo, futhi zinomthwalo wemfanelo.
Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo
1. Uyini umehluko phakathi kokuba umzali onesandla esiqinile nokuba umzali olawulayo?
Ukuba umzali onesandla esiqinile ubeka phambili ukulalela nokulawula nendawo encane yokuxoxisana. Ukuba umzali olawulayo uhlanganisa isakhiwo nemithetho nokufudumala, ukusekela, nokuxhumana okuvulekile.
2. Ingabe ukuba umzali onesandla esiqinile kungaba yingozi?
Uma kusetsizwa ngokweqile, ukuba umzali onesandla esiqinile kungaholela ekuzethembeni okuncane, ekukhathazekeni, nasebunzimeni bokuthatha izinqumo. Indlela elinganiselayo ingasiza ekunciphiseni lezi zingozi.
3. Ngingasuka kanjani ekubeni umzali onesandla esiqinile ngiye ekubeni umzali olawulayo?
Gxila ekulaleleni umbono wengane yakho, ekuchazeni izizathu ezishaya imithetho, nasekusebenziseni imiphumela enengqondo esikhundleni sezijeziso ezinzima.
4. Ingabe kufanelekile yini ukusebenzisa izindlela zokuba umzali onesandla esiqinile?
Kwezinye izimo, njengokuqinisekisa ukuphepha noma phakathi kwezimo eziphuthumayo, indlela enegunya ingafaka phakathi imingcele eqinile yesikhashana.
5. Ngingasiza kanjani ingane yami uma inezinkinga ngemiphumela yokuba umzali onesandla esiqinile?
Vuma obala amaphutha adlule, ukhuthaze ukuba iveze imizwa yayo, futhi wakhe kabusha ukwethemba ngokufudumala okungaguquki, ukuzwelana, nokusekela.
