Kungani "Veza Ukungaguquguquki nje" Kuyiseluleko Esibi Sokuba Umzali

Why “Just Be Consistent” Is Terrible Parenting Advice

“Vele uhlale uvumelana” ingenye yezeluleko eziningi eziphindaphindwayo mayelana nokuba ngumzali. Kubonakala ezincwadini, ezifundweni, kumazwana ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, nakwezingxoxo ezinomgomo omuhle. Uma izingane zikhungatheka, ukuziphatha kuba kubi, noma izinqubo ziphazamiseka, ukuvumelana kuvame ukwethulwa njengesithako esilahlekile.

Inkinga ayikhona ekutheni ukuvumelana akusizi. Inkinga ukuthi leli seluleko aliphelele, alinakwenzeka, futhi livame ukuba yingozi uma lisetshenziswa ngaphandle komongo. Emindenini eminingi, ukulwela ukuvumelana okuphelele kwenza ukuba ngumzali kube nzima, hhayi lula.

Kungani Leli Seluleko Lizwakala Linengqondo

Ukuvumelana kuthembisa ukulawula. Kusikisela ukuthi uma abazali bephendula ngendlela efanayo ngaso sonke isikhathi, izingane zizofunda ngokushesha, ukuziphatha kuzothuthuka, futhi impilo yomndeni izinzile.

Ngokwesibalo, lokhu kuzwakala kududuza. Abazali bafuna ukuba nokubikezelwa. Izingane ziyazuza ngokwazi okumele zikulindele.

Inkinga ukuthi leli seluleko alinakwa ukuthi imindeni yangempela isebenza kanjani ngaphansi kwezimo zangempela.

Ukuvumelana Akunaki Amandla Omuntu

Abazali bangabantu. Amandla, ingcindezi, impilo, umsebenzi, namandla angokomzwelo kushintsha nsuku zonke.

Ukulindela impendulo efanayo ngaso sonke isikhathi kucabanga ukuthi abazali banamandla angenamkhawulo. Abanawo.

Lapho ukuvumelana kuthathwa njengesidingo esikhundleni sesiqondiso, abazali baqala ukuzizwa bengaphumeleli ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho bephendula ngokuhlukile ngenxa yokukhathala noma ukucindezeleka okukhulu.

Lokhu kudala icala, hhayi ukuba ngumzali okungcono.

Izingane Nazo Azivumelani

Izingane azizona amarobhothi aphendula ezigingini. Izinhlelo zazo zemizwa zishintshashintsha njalo.

Ingane ephetha kahle ngoMsombuluko ingase ibhidlike ngoLwesibili ngenxa yokungalali kahle, ukugula, ukugqugquzela okukhulu, noma umthwalo ongokomzwelo.

Ukuphendula ngendlela efanayo ezimeni ezihlukene zesistimu yezinzwa kuvame ukukhulisa ukuziphatha esikhundleni sokusekela ukulawula.

Okudingwa izingane ukuhlangana, hhayi ukufana.

Kungani Ukuvumelana Okuqinile Kukhulisa Ukuziphatha

Ukuvumelana okuqinile kuvame ukunganaki umongo. Kuqala imithetho ngaphezu kokulawula.

Lapho ingane ingenalawuleki, ukuphoqa impendulo efanayo esetshenziswe ngezikhathi zokuthula kungase kuzwakale kusabisa kunokuba kusekele.

Lokhu kuholela ezimpini zamandla, ekukhuphukeni kwemizwa, nasekuphikiseni. Abazali bese bephinda baqinisekise ukuvumelana, bekholelwa ukuthi ingane ihlola imingcele.

Eqinisweni, ingane iyazabalaza ukubhekana.

Ukuvumelana Kudida Ukusekela Ngokulawula

Iningi lezeluleko ezinethi “vele uvumelane” zisekelwe ekulawuleni ukuziphatha kunokusekela ngokomzwelo.

Zigxila emiphumeleni esikhundleni samandla. Izingane kulindeleke ukuba zithobele kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zizizwa kanjani.

Lokhu kufundisa izingane ukucindezela imizwa kunokuyilawula.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kungase kwandise ukukhathazeka, ukuvaleka, noma ukuziphatha okunamandla.

Kungani Abazali Bekhathala Bezama Ukuba Bavumelane

Ukuvumelana kudinga ukulawula imizwa, ukubekezela, nokuba khona. Lezi yizinsiza ezilinganiselwe.

Lapho abazali bezizwa bephoqelelwe ukuba baphendule ngokuphelele ngaso sonke isikhathi, bahlala esimweni sokuxwaya. Akukho ndawo yokuguquguquka noma ukuphumula.

Ukukhathala kuyanda. Ukuba ngumzali kuqala ukuzwakala njengokusebenza okuqhubekayo kunokuba ubuhlobo.

Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi emindenini esivele icindezelwe.

Insumansumane Yokuphendula Okukodwa Okulungile

“Vele uvumelane” kusho ukuthi kukhona impendulo eyodwa elungile ekuziphatheni.

Ukuba ngumzali akusebenzi kanjalo. Izingane ziyakhula, izimo ziyashintsha, nezidingo zomndeni ziyashintsha.

Okusebenze ngenyanga edlule kungase kungasebenzi manje. Okusebenzela ingane eyodwa kungase kungasebenzeli enye.

Ukuguquguquka akukona ukwehluleka. Kuyikuphendula.

Kungani Ukuvumelana Okungena Ukuxhumana Kubhidlika

Izingane zilalela isiqondiso kangcono uma zizizwa ziphephile ngokomzwelo.

Ukuvumelana okungena ukuxhumana kuzwakala kubanda futhi kulawula. Izingane zingase zithobele okwesikhashana kodwa zilahle ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo.

Ukuxhumana kwakha ukwethemba. Ukwethemba kusekela ukubambisana ngempumelelo kakhulu kunemithetho eqinile.

Lapho ukuxhumana kuhola, ukuvumelana kuba okusekelayo kunokuba kube okujezisayo.

Okudingwa Izingane Eqinisweni Esikhundleni SokuVumelana Okungaguquki

Izingane zidinga ukubikezelwa, hhayi ukuphelela.

Ukubikezelwa kuvela ekwazini ukuthi ziyasekelwa, imingcele ikhona, futhi abantu abadala bazophendula ngokucophelela.

Lokhu akudingi izimpendulo ezifanayo. Kudinga ukunakekelwa okuthembekile nokutholakala ngokomzwelo.

Izingane zizizwa ziphephile kakhulu lapho abantu abadala belungisa ukusekela ukuze kuhambisane namandla azo.

Umehluko Phakathi Kokubikezelwa NokuQina

Ukubikezelwa kusho ukuthi izingane ngokuvamile ziyazi okumele zikulindele.

Ukuqina kusho ukuthi izimpendulo azishintshi kungakhathaliseki izimo.

Ukubikezelwa kuvumela ukuguquguquka. Ukuqina kuyakususa.

Imindeni enempilo ithembela emaphethini, hhayi ezincwadini.

Kungani “Vele Uvumelane” Kwandisa Ihlazo Labazali

Lapho iseluleko senziwe saba lula kakhulu, abazali bazisola lapho singasebenzi.

Bacabanga ukuthi abavumelani, babuthaka, noma bayehluleka.

Leli hlazo liyayivimbela ingqondo nokulungisa. Abazali baba nokuphikisa noma bakhathale esikhundleni sokusekelwa.

Iseluleko esihle kufanele sinciphise ihlazo, hhayi ukulikhulisa.

Okusebenza Kangcono KunokuVumelana Kuphela

Ukuphendula okuhambisanayo kusebenza kangcono.

Lokhu kusho ukuqaphela isimo sengane, isimo, namandla akho ngaphambi kokuphendula.

Ngezinye izikhathi kudingeka ukuqina. Ngezinye izikhathi kudingeka ubumnene. Ngezinye izikhathi kudingeka isikhala.

Ikhono ukulungisa, hhayi ukuphinda.

Indlela Ukuguquguquka Okufundisa Ngayo Ukulawula Imizwa

Lapho izingane zibona abantu abadala belungisa izimpendulo ngokwesidingo, zifunda isifundo esibalulekile.

Imizwa ibalulekile. Umongo ubalulekile. Ukusekela kungashintsha.

Lokhu kufundisa izingane ukuzivumelanisa kunokuba zilalele ngokungaboni.

Kwakha ubuhlakani obungokomzwelo kunokwesaba imiphumela.

Kungani Leli Seluleko Liyingozi Ikakhulukazi Ngezikhathi Zokucindezeleka

Phakathi nokugula, izinguquko, ukucindezeleka komndeni, noma izinguquko ezinkulu, ukuvumelana kuvame ukubhidlika ngokwemvelo.

Abazali abakholelwa ukuthi kufanele bahlale bevumelana ngalezi zikhathi bazizwa behlulekile.

Emindenini yaseNingizimu Afrika ebhekene nokucishwa kukagesi, ukukhathazeka ngokuphepha, ukucindezeleka kwezezimali, nezikhathi ezingalindelekile, ukuvumelana okuqinile kuvame ukungenzeki.

Okudingwa imindeni ngalezi zikhathi ukuzwelana nokuguquguquka, hhayi imithetho eqinile.

Yini Okufanele Kuhloswe Ngayo Esikhundleni

Hlose ukuvumelana ngokomzwelo, hhayi ukufana kokuziphatha.

Izingane ziyazuza kubantu abadala abanothando olungaguquki, abakhona, nabaphendulayo, noma ngabe imithetho noma izimpendulo ziyahlukahluka.

Lokhu kwakha ukwethemba nokuphepha ngempumelelo kakhulu kunezinhlelo eziphelele.

Lapho Ukuvumelana Kusasebenza

Ukuvumelana kubaluleke kakhulu mayelana nokuphepha nemingcele eyinhloko.

Imithetho mayelana nokuphepha ngokomzimba, inhlonipho, nezinto ezilindelekile ezivamile iyazuza ngokuzinza.

Okusemqoka ukusebenzisa ukuvumelana ngokucophelela, hhayi ngomshini.

Ukulungisa Kubaluleke Kakhulu KunokuVumelana

Abazali bazokwenza amaphutha. Izimpendulo zizoshintsha. Imizwa izophuma.

Ukulungisa kubaluleke kakhulu kunokuVumelana.

Ukuvuma amaphutha nokuxhumana kabusha kufundisa izingane ukukhuthazela nokwethemba.

Ukuvumelana okuphelele akufundisi lutho.

Imibuzo Ejwayelekile Mayelana Nokuthi “Vele Uvumelane” Kungenzani Ukuba Seluleko Esibi Sokuba Ngumzali

Ingabe ukuvumelana kubi njalo?

Cha. Ukuvumelana kunenani, kodwa kufanele kube okuguquguqukayo nokuphendulayo, hhayi okuqinile.

Kungani ukuvumelana ngezinye izikhathi kwenza ukuziphatha kube kubi kakhulu?

Ngoba kungase kunganaki amandla angokomzwelo futhi kukhulise ukucindezeleka kunokusekela ukulawula.

Yini okufanele abazali bagxile kuyo esikhundleni?

Gxila ekuxhumana, ekuhambisaneni, nasekukwazini ukubikezela kunasezimpendulweni ezifanayo.

Ingabe ukuguquguquka kuyazidida izingane?

Cha. Izingane zikwazi kangcono ukubhekana lapho ukusekela kuhambisana nezidingo zazo.

Abazali bangakugwema kanjani ukuzizwa bengavumelani?

Ngokuchaza kabusha ukuvumelana njengokuthembeka ngokomzwelo kunokuba izimpendulo ezingaguquki.

Ingabe leli seluleko lihambisana nayo yonke iminyaka?

Yebo. Izingane zayo yonke iminyaka ziyazuza ekuphenduleni kunasekuqineni.

“Vele uvumelane” iseluleko esibi sokuba ngumzali ngoba yenza into engokwesintu ibe lula kakhulu. Imindeni iyizinhlelo ezishintshayo, hhayi amashadi okuziphatha. Izingane ziyashintsha nsuku zonke. Abazali bayashintsha nsuku zonke. Okudingwa izingane kakhulu akuzona izimpendulo ezifanayo, kodwa abantu abadala abakhona, abaguquguqukayo, nabatholakala ngokomzwelo. Lapho abazali beyeka ukufuna ukuvumelana okuphelele bese beqala ukuphendula ngokuqonda, impilo yomndeni iba nomoya opholile, obusisa, futhi ozinzile kakhulu.

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