Toddlerhood is a particularly vexing time for parents because this is the age at which children start to become more independent and discover themselves as individuals. Yet they still have a limited ability to communicate and reason.
Child development specialist Claire Lerner, director of parenting resources for the nonprofit organization Zero to Three, says, "They understand that their actions matter -- they can make things happen. This leads them to want to make their imprint on the world and assert themselves in a way they didn't when they were a baby. The problem is they have very little self-control and they're not rational thinkers. It's a very challenging combination."
Here are a few simple toddler discipline strategies to help make life easier for your whole family when your self-asserting toddler needs direction.
1. Be Consistent
Order and routine give young children a safe haven from what they view as an overwhelming and unpredictable world, Lerner says. "When there's some predictability and routine, it makes children feel much more safe and secure, and they tend to be much more behaved and calm because they know what to expect."
2. Avoid Stressful Situations
By the time your child has reached the toddler stage, you've spent enough time with them to know what triggers reactions. The most common ones are hunger, sleepiness, and quick changes of venue. Avoid these potential meltdown scenarios with a little advance planning.
3. Think Like a Toddler
Toddlers aren't mini-adults. They have trouble understanding many of the things we take for granted, like how to follow directions and behave appropriately. Seeing the scenario from a toddler's perspective can help prevent a tantrum.
4. Practice the Art of Distraction
Make your toddler's short attention span work for you. When your child throws the ball against the dining room wall for the 10th time after you've said to stop, it's pretty easy to redirect your child to a more productive activity, like trading the ball for a favorite book or moving the game outside.
5. Give Your Child a Break
Time-outs are one of the foundations of child discipline, but they may not be the best approach for the toddler stage. The negative implication of being sent away can teach kids that they're bad rather than promote good behavior.
6. Stay Calm
It’s easy for your blood pressure to reach the boiling point when you’re in the middle of watching your child throw a tantrum. But losing control will quickly escalate an already stressful situation. Give yourself some time to cool off, Forehand says. "Otherwise, you're venting your own anger. In the end that's going to make you, as a parent, feel worse and guilty. And it's not going to do your child any good."
7. Know When to Give In
Certain things in a toddler's life are nonnegotiable. They have to eat, brush their teeth, and ride in a car seat. They also have to take baths once in a while. Hitting and biting are never OK. But many other issues aren't worth the headache of an argument. Pick your battles.
Source: 7 Secrets of Toddler Discipline
