Uma ungumzali wengane enezidingo ezikhethekile nakanjani uzwa ukucindezeleka kokudonswa ngezindlela eziningi nsuku zonke.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usebenzelana nengane ene-ADHD, Autism, noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuxilongwa kwezempilo, ukukhula, noma impilo yengqondo, iqiniso liwukuthi kudinga amandla amaningi angokomzwelo nawomzimba kuwe njengomzali. Engeza isikhathi nemali eyengeziwe edingekayo ukuze uthole ukwelashwa nokuphatha izidingo zengane yakho, futhi akungabazeki ukuthi kuthatha umthwalo kuwe nakubafowabo bengane yakho enezidingo ezikhethekile.
Abazali abaningi bazama ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zabo bonke abantwana babo, kodwa kuvamile ukuba izingane zakubo zizizwe zinganakwa. Kunokuba wengeze umuzwa wecala ekuphileni kwakho okugcwele kakade, nazi ezinye iziphakamiso ezingakusiza uhlangabezane nezidingo eziyingqayizivele zezinye izingane zakho:
1. Bekela Eceleni Isikhathi: Nonke niye nayizwa inkulumo ethi, “Akuwona ubuningi kodwa ikhwalithi ebalulekile.” Lokhu akukaze kube yiqiniso njengoba kwenzeka kuzelamani zezingane ezinezidingo ezikhethekile. Njengoba sonke isikhathi esichithwa kubafowabo nodadewabo, kubalulekile ukubekela eceleni isikhathi sokuba bodwa. Bathanda ukwenzani? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuthenga ngefasitela enxanxatheleni yezitolo noma ukwenza izinzipho zabo, kubeke ekhalendeni futhi wenze okusemandleni akho ukunamathela kukho. Le misebenzi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi mincane kangakanani, ibonisa ezinye izingane zakho ukuthi uzazisa ngokwanele ukuba zichithe isikhathi zenza lokho ezikujabulelayo.
2. Babuze Ukuthi Bazizwa Kanjani: Uma ucindezelekile emhlanganweni kathisha wesihlanu enyangeni mayelana nokuwohloka kwendodana yakho, kuphephile ukusho ukuthi enye ingane/izingane zakho nazo zizizwa zicindezelekile. Khona-ke futhi, bangase bangenzi! Ezinye izingane zakini zizimele kakhulu futhi ziculela ezinye izinto zomndeni. Iphuzu liwukuthi awudingi ukuqagela. Babuze nje… “Sally, ngiyazi ukuthi muva nje bengihlanya. UBilly ube nezinkinga eziningi. Uzizwa unjani ngakho?" Ngemva kwalokho, lalela nje. Akunandaba ukuthi u-Sally uthi, “Ngilungile ngakho konke,” noma “Ngiyakuzonda ukuba noBilly njengomfowethu. Unamahloni!” Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi udala indawo ephephile yokuthi enye ingane yakho izwe ukuthi ithini futhi ungayihluleli. Bagcizelele ukuthi indlela abazizwa ngayo ivumelekile, noma ngabe kubuhlungu ukuzwa lokho.
3. Zinikeze Ulwazi: Nakuba kungase kulingeke ukugwema ukukhuluma ngokwenzeka ngengane yakho enezidingo ezikhethekile, noma ucabange ukuthi ezinye izingane zakho azazi, lokhu kuyiphutha. Izelamani akudingeki zazi yonke imininingwane, kodwa kufanele zibe nolwazi oluhambisana neminyaka mayelana nokuxilongwa kwezingane zakubo, izidingo, nanoma yini enye ebalulekile. Ukufihlela ezinye izingane zakho lezi zinto kuzozibangela kuphela ukuthi zenze izindaba ezingqondweni zazo okungenzeka zingelona iqiniso, futhi kungabashiya besaba noma bekhungathekile ngokungadingekile. Lapho wonke umuntu emndenini enolwazi oluningi, ningakwazi ukuqonda kangcono futhi nisekelane.
4. Yehlisa Ijubane: Kungaba nzima ukuvele “ukhululeke” uma uzwa sengathi ushaywa ngezindlela eziyisigidi, futhi ube nezinto eziningi kakhulu ohlwini lwakho lwezinto ozozenza kunalokho ongakwazi ukuzenza. Njengokuphikisa okuzwakalayo njengoba lokhu kuzwakala, kubalulekile ukuthi wehlise ijubane futhi ugxile ekugcineni impilo yakho ilula ngangokunokwenzeka. Uma ungahleli isikhathi eside kakhulu uzozizwa uzolile futhi ungaqala ukubeka izinto eqhulwini kangcono. Nakuba kungangabazeki ukuthi ingane yakho enezidingo ezikhethekile iphezulu ohlwini lwakho olubalulekile, nezinye izingane zakho kudingeka zibe, nazo. Sebenzela ukuqinisekisa ukuthi imisebenzi yabo, izinto abazithandayo, kanye nezidingo zabo zithola isikhathi nokunakwa.
5. Bheka Amaqiniso: Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuba yikho konke kuzo zonke izingane. Uma kukhulunywa ngezingane ezingenazo izidingo ezikhethekile, kulungile ukuzichazela lokho. “Sally, ayikho into engingathanda ukudlula ukugxila kuyo sonke isikhathi sami kuwe namuhla. Nakuba ngingeke ngikwazi ukuchitha amahora nawe enxanxatheleni yezitolo ngenxa yokubonana nodokotela kamfowenu, kunalokho ngingachitha isigamu sehora ngifunda nawe.” U-Sally angase angaqondi ngokuphelele manje, kodwa ngesinye isikhathi, uzo- futhi uzokubonga. Kungani? Esikhundleni sokuthi uthembise ngokweqile futhi ungaphansi kokuzibophezela, ubeka okulindelekile okungokoqobo empilweni. Yiba neqiniso futhi uthembeke kulokho ongakwenza, bese unamathela kukho.
6. Thola Ukusekelwa: Njengoba ungathanda ukuba ukuphela kwengane yakho ukuze uthole usizo lomzali, ungase udinge ukucela umngane omethembayo noma isihlobo ukuba angenelele. Ingabe ukhona umuntu empilweni yakho ongamcela yisa indodana noma indodakazi yakho emtatsheni wezincwadi kanye/ngesonto? Kuthiwani nge-sleepover? Lokhu ngeke nje kunikeze ingane yakho isikhathi sokuba yedwa nomuntu omdala, kuzonciphisa ingqondo yakho ukwazi ukuthi izidingo zayo zihlangatshezwa ngumuntu enimthandayo nomethembayo.
Uma enye ingane yakho ikuthola kunzima ukuqonda ingane yakubo noma inokukhathazeka okukhulu noma ukucindezeleka ngezinto, funa ukusekelwa kochwepheshe. Ukwelulekwa ngezikhathi ezithile, amaqembu okusekela izelamani, noma ezinye izinketho zinganikeza ulwazi olwengeziwe, ukwesekwa, kanye namakhono okubhekana nesimo esiwadingayo ezinye izingane zakini. Kunamaqembu emhlabeni wonke ahlinzeka ngemisebenzi, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi uthole eyodwa endaweni yangakini.
7. Bakhuthaze: Izingane zidinga isikhuthazo ngaphezu kwezinto ezibonakalayo. Iyiphi indawo emnandi yendodakazi yakho? Yini eyenza indodana yakho izigqaje? Noma ngabe ukumncoma ngezinwele zakhe, amamaki akhe, noma lawo makhukhi amangalisayo abawenzile - khuluma ngezinto ezinhle oziqaphelayo ozenzayo. Amazwi esikhuthazo, ikakhulukazi aqotho, abonisa ingane yakho ukuthi uyayinaka futhi uyayazisa kanye nalokho akufezile.
8. Babonge: Ingabe uke wakucabangela ukubonga ezinye izingane zakho ngokubekezela kwazo ngezidingo ezikhethekile? Kungaba lula ukuwathatha kalula. Ukubekezelela umfowabo one-autism, noma udade onezinkinga zokufunda nokuziphatha yilokho abakwenzayo ukuze babe yingxenye yomndeni, akunjalo? Yebo, kodwa akusho ukuthi kuhlale kulula. Babonge ngokuba nesineke, umusa, ukwethembeka nothando - enganeni yabo kanye nakuwe!
Umthombo: https://www.drbeurkens.com/
