Abazali abaningi bayakhohlwa ukuthi izingane zabo ezizibulo zigxilisa indawo yonke kubazali bazo, ikakhulukazi uma kuyingane eyodwa. Asazi kancane ukuthi umhlaba wabo uphenduka ubheke phansi kanjani lapho siletha izindaba zokuthi sebezoba nomfowethu noma udadewabo omusha.
Minyaka yonke, i-International Siblings Day igujwa mhla ziyi-10 kuMbasa. Noma yimuphi umuntu okhule nezingane zakubo unezindaba ezimbalwa angabelana ngazo futhi ezinye angathanda ukuzikhohlwa. Kodwa, ingabe bayazi ukuthi yayibaluleke kangakanani indima yomzali wabo ekukhuthazeni ubudlelwano obuhle phakathi kwabo nezingane zakubo kusukela ekuqaleni?
Ungoti weParenting and Pampers® Institute, uDade Yolanda Mpilo uthi, “Kubalulekile ukuqaphela iphimbo nendlela esethula ngayo izindaba ezinganeni zethu ezisanda kuzalwa. Kuyithuba elihle lokufaka ingane yakho kanye nengane yakubo esigabeni sokusondelana ngisho nangaphambi kokuzalwa.”
Nokho, weluleka ngokuthi ubudala bunendima ebalulekile endleleni ingane yakho evumelana ngayo nalokhu kukhula okusha. Kubalulekile ukuthatha indlela efanele lapho uqala le ngxoxo. Ukungakhulumisani kahle okuncane noma isenzo kungaba yimbangela "yokuncintisana kwezelamani" kuzo zonke izigaba zabo zokukhula.
UYolanda uyanezela ukuthi “nakuba abazali beyiqonda imiphumela yalezi zimemezelo ezishintsha ukuphila eziba nayo ezinganeni ezisezinkathini ezibalulekile ezihlukene ekuphileni kwazo, kusenenani elikhulu lezingane ezikhula zixabana nezingane zakubo ngenxa yoshintsho olusobala lwezinqubo zansuku zonke nokushintsha kokunaka. umama nobaba.”
Wabelana ngamathiphu okuphrakthiza okuhle kakhulu okuthi ungethula kanjani isengezo esisha kuzingane zakubo ezikhaleni ezihlukene zobudala:
Iminyaka engu-1-3:
- Kufanele ubukeke lapho uxoxela ingane yakho izindaba. Funda izincwadi zezindaba ezinamagama anjengokuthi “umfowabo omncane” kanye “nodadewabo omncane”, dlala nengane yakho bese ubuza ukuthi umfowabo omncane uvunyelwe yini ukudlala nayo lapho ingane yakwabo ifika.
- Zinike isikhathi sokuhlikihla kwabo ebusuku nanoma iyiphi inqubo abanayo futhi uveze ukuthi uziqhenya kangakanani ngabo bekhula baba umfana noma intombazane enkulu.
- Funda izindaba zokulala ezikhuluma ngezingane nemindeni
Iminyaka engu-3-5:
- Kule minyaka, ukwethembeka kufanele kube yinto ehamba phambili ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho kukhulunywa ngezindaba kumfundi osemusha. Izenzo ezicashile zokucwayiza izingubo zezingane ezintsha eduze kwazo noma ukuzicela ukuba zisize ukupakisha izinto zezingane ezintsha. Lokhu kuzobonisa umuzwa wokwethembana nokuzibophezela, futhi abazowuthuthukisa kuzingane zakubo ezintsha
- Zama ukungayisusi ingane yakho ekamelweni layo ukuze ulisebenzisele inkulisa. Lokhu kungase kubonise izimpawu zokushintshwa. Kunalokho, thatha into endala efana nembhedeni bese ubuza ukuthi udadewabo omncane angayisebenzisa yini. Lokhu kubonisa isikhashana sokuvuthwa nokukhula kwengane yakho
Iminyaka engu-6+:
- Kule minyaka, ingane yakho isizimele futhi isisendleleni eya esikoleni samabanga aphansi. Ukumemezela izindaba kubo kufanele kube ngezwi lokuqonda, elizolile nelifudumele.
- Zama ukuba nale ngxoxo ngesikhathi sakho esijwayelekile sokuhlangana (isb. isikhathi sokugeza). Babuze ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngokuba nengane yakini entsha
- Banikeze indima ebonakalayo ekusizeni ukulungiselela ukufika kwengane yakini ngokubacela ukuthi bakhethe umbala kapende wegumbi lenkulisa.
- Uma umntwana esezelwe futhi esekhaya, faka izibulo lakho ekusizeni ukumnakekela. Bafundise ukuthi bayibambe kanjani ingane ngendlela efanele; lokhu kuzokwakha ukuzethemba kwabo ekubeni nomthwalo wemfanelo nokwethembeka. Cela usizo lapho ushintsha inabukeni lengane, lokhu kuzobenza bazizwe sengathi badlala indima enkulu ekukhuleni nasekukhuleni kwengane yakubo entsha. Lokhu futhi kuvumela izingane zakho ukuthi zakhe isibopho kusenesikhathi.
Okubaluleke kakhulu ukugwema ukwenza izibulo lakho lizizwe sengathi libekwe eceleni. Nakuba umndeni ungase uxabane ngokufika okusha, kubalulekile ukuthi enye ingane ithole ukunakwa okulinganayo nothando, futhi ingalokothi izizwe inganakiwe.
“Ekugcineni indlela izingane ezakha noma ezihlukanisa ngayo ubuhlobo bazo njengezelamani ibangelwa abazali nokuthi bayithuthukisa kanjani indawo enothando nokuthula. Kuyohlale kukhona ukungaboni ngaso linye, okungase kudinge ukungenelela kwabazali. Kodwa, isisekelo esihle sizobasiza ukuthi babhekane nanoma yikuphi ukungqubuzana futhi baqhubeke nokuthandana njengezelamani kuze kube sekugugeni kwabo,” kuphetha uYolanda.
