Isayensi ithi abazali bezingane eziphumelelayo banalezi zinto ezingu-13 ezifanayo
Noma yimuphi umzali omuhle ufuna izingane zabo zingangeni enkingeni, zenze kahle esikoleni, futhi zenze izinto ezimangalisayo njengabantu abadala.
Futhi nakuba ingekho iresiphi ebekiwe yokukhulisa izingane eziphumelelayo, ucwaningo lwe-psychology luye lwabonisa izici ezimbalwa ezibikezela impumelelo.
Ngokungangabazeki, okuningi kwakho kwehlela kubazali.
Nakhu abazali bezingane eziphumelelayo abafana ngakho:
1. Benza izingane zabo zenze imisebenzi yasekhaya.
"Uma izingane zingazigezi izitsha, kusho ukuthi kukhona omunye umuntu ozenzela zona," kusho uJulie Lythcott-Haims, owayeyiDini leFreshmen eStanford University kanye nombhali wencwadi ethi "Indlela Yokukhulisa Umuntu Omdala" ngesikhathi somcimbi weTED Talks Live. .
“Ngakho-ke abakhululwa emsebenzini kuphela, kodwa nokufunda ukuthi umsebenzi kufanele wenziwe nokuthi ngamunye wethu kufanele afake isandla ukuze kuthuthukiswe wonke,” kusho yena.
ULythcott-Haims ukholelwa ukuthi izingane ezikhuliswe emisebenzini yasekhaya ziyaqhubeka zibe izisebenzi ezisebenzisana kahle nozakwabo, zinozwela kakhulu ngoba ziyazi mathupha ukuthi ukuzabalaza kunjani, futhi ziyakwazi ukwenza imisebenzi ngokuzimela.
Lokhu ukusekela ocwaningweni lwe-Harvard Grant, ucwaningo olude kakhulu olwake lwenziwa.
"Ngokubenza benze imisebenzi yasekhaya - bakhiphe udoti, baziwashele izingubo zabo - bayabona ukuthi kufanele ngenze umsebenzi wokuphila ukuze ngibe yingxenye yempilo ," etshela i-Tech Insider.
2. Bafundisa izingane zabo amakhono okuxhumana nabantu.
Abacwaningi basePennsylvania State University kanye naseNyuvesi yaseDuke balandelela izingane ezingaphezu kuka-700 ezivela kulo lonke elase-US phakathi kwenkulisa kanye neminyaka engu-25 ubudala futhi bathola ukuhlobana okubalulekile phakathi kwamakhono azo omphakathi njengezingane zasenkulisa nempumelelo yabo njengabantu abadala emashumini amabili eminyaka kamuva.
Lolu cwaningo lweminyaka engu-20 lubonise ukuthi izingane ezinekhono kwezenhlalo ezingabambisana nontanga yazo ngaphandle kokutshelwa, zibe usizo kwabanye, ziqonde imizwa yazo, futhi zixazulule izinkinga zizodwa, maningi amathuba okuthi zithole iziqu zasekolishi futhi zibe nesikhathi esigcwele. umsebenzi ngeminyaka engu-25 kunalabo abanamakhono alinganiselwe omphakathi.
Labo abanamakhono alinganiselwe kwezenhlalo nabo babe nethuba eliphakeme lokuboshwa, ukuzitika ngotshwala, nokufaka izicelo zezindlu zomphakathi.
“Lolu cwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukusiza izingane zithuthukise amakhono okuxhumana nabantu kanye nemizwa kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu esingayenza ukuzilungiselela ikusasa elinempilo,” kusho uKristin Schubert, umqondisi wohlelo eRobert Wood Johnson Foundation, exhase lolu cwaningo ngezimali. ukukhululwa.
“Kusukela isencane, lawa makhono ayakwazi ukucacisa ukuthi ingane iya ekolishi noma ejele, nokuthi igcina isiqashiwe noma isiluthekile yini.
3. Balindele lukhulu.
Ngokusebenzisa idatha yocwaningo lukazwelonke lwezingane ezingu-6,600 ezazalwa ngo-2001, uprofesa wase-University of California e-Los Angeles u-Neal Halfon nozakwabo bathola ukuthi lokho okulindelekile abazali abanalo ezinganeni zabo kunomthelela omkhulu ekuzuzweni.
"Abazali ababona ikolishi ngekusasa lengane yabo babonakala beyiqondisa ingane yabo kulowo mgomo kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ihola malini kanye nezinye izimpahla," esho esitatimendeni.
Okutholakele kuphume ezivivinyweni ezijwayelekile: u-57% wezingane ezenze okubi kakhulu kwakulindeleke ukuthi zifunde ekolishi ngabazali bazo, kanti u-96% wezingane ezenze kahle kakhulu kwakulindeleke ukuthi ziye ekolishi.
Lokhu kuvumelana nokunye okutholwe kwengqondo: umphumela wePygmalion, othi “lokho umuntu akulindele komunye kungase kube isiprofetho esizigcwalisayo.”
Ezinganeni, ziphila ngokuvumelana nalokho okulindelwe abazali bazo.
4. Banobudlelwano obuhle phakathi kwabo.
Izingane ezisemikhayeni enezingxabano ezinkulu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ziphelele noma zihlukanisile, zivame ukuba kubi kakhulu kunezingane zabazali ezizwana, ngokusho kocwaningo lwe-University of Illinois.
U-Robert Hughes, Jr., uprofesa kanye nenhloko yoMnyango Wezokuthuthukiswa Kwabantu Nomphakathi eKolishi le-ACES eNyuvesi yase-Illinois kanye nombhali wokubukeza ucwaningo, uphawula nokuthi olunye ucwaningo luye lwathola ukuthi izingane ezisemikhayeni yomzali oyedwa ongangqubuzani nazo zihamba kangcono kunezingane imindeni ehlukene enabazali ababili.
Ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabazali ngaphambi kwesehlukaniso kuthinta kabi izingane, kuyilapho ukungqubuzana kwangemva kwesehlukaniso kunethonya elinamandla ekulungiseni izingane, kusho uHughes.
Olunye ucwaningo lwathola ukuthi, ngemva kwesehlukaniso, lapho ubaba ongenaso ilungelo lokukhulisa izingane evame ukuthintana nezingane zakhe futhi kungekho ngxabano encane, izingane ziba ngcono. Kodwa lapho kunokungqubuzana, ukuvakashelwa njalo kukababa kuhlobene nokungalungiseki kahle kwezingane.
Nokho olunye ucwaningo lwathola ukuthi abantu abangu-20 abahlukana kwabazali babo beseyizingane basabika ubuhlungu nokucindezeleka ngenxa yedivosi yomzali wabo eminyakeni eyishumi kamuva. Intsha eyabika ukungqubuzana okukhulu phakathi kwabazali bayo yayingase ibe nemizwa yokulahlekelwa nokuzisola.
5. Sebefinyelele amazinga aphezulu emfundo.
Ucwaningo lwango-2014 oluholwa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseNyuvesi yaseMichigan uSandra Tang lwathola ukuthi omama abaqede esikoleni esiphakeme noma ekolishi maningi amathuba okuthi bakhulise izingane ezenza okufanayo.
Ikhipha eqenjini lezingane ezingaphezu kuka-14,000 ezangena enkulisa ngo-1998 kuya ku-2007, lolu cwaningo lwathola ukuthi izingane ezizalwa omama abasebasha (abaneminyaka engu-18 ubudala noma ngaphansi) mancane amathuba okuba baqede esikoleni esiphakeme noma baye ekolishi kunozakwabo.
Isifiso okungenani sinesibopho ngokwengxenye. Ocwaningweni lwesikhathi eside lwango-2009 olwenziwa kubantu abangu-856 eNew York, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseBowling Green State University u-Eric Dubow sathola ukuthi “izinga lemfundo labazali lapho ingane ineminyaka engu-8 lalibikezela ngokuphawulekayo impumelelo yemfundo nomsebenzi wengane eminyakeni engu-40 kamuva.”
6. Bafundisa izingane zabo izibalo kusenesikhathi.
Ukuhlaziywa kwe-meta ka-2007 kwabafundi basenkulisa abangu-35,000 kulo lonke elase-US, Canada, nase-England kwathola ukuthi ukuthuthukisa amakhono ezibalo kusenesikhathi kungase kuphenduke inzuzo enkulu.
"Ukubaluleka okukhulu kwamakhono ezibalo asekuqaleni - ukuqala isikole ngolwazi lwezinombolo, ukuhleleka kwezinombolo, neminye imiqondo yezibalo engajwayelekile - kungenye yezindida eziphuma ocwaningweni," kusho umbhali kanye nomcwaningi waseNorthwestern University uGreg Duncan esitatimendeni. khulula. “Ukuphumelela kwamakhono okuqala ezibalo akubikezeli kuphela impumelelo yesikhathi esizayo yezibalo, futhi kubikezela impumelelo yokufunda yesikhathi esizayo.”
7. Bakha ubuhlobo nezingane zabo.
Njengoba kubikiwe ku-PsyBlog, abazali abangabanakekeli abazwelayo “basabela kumasiginali wengane yabo ngokushesha nangendlela efanele” futhi “banikeze isisekelo esivikelekile” ukuze izingane zihlole umhlaba.
“Lokhu kusikisela ukuthi ukutshalwa kwezimali ebudlelwaneni babazali nengane basebancane kungase kubangele imbuyiselo yesikhathi eside enqwabelana phakathi nokuphila komuntu ngamunye,” kusho u-coauthor kanye nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sase-University of Minnesota u-Lee Raby engxoxweni.
8. Abacindezelekile kangako.
Ngokocwaningo lwakamuva olucashunwe uBrigid Schulte kuyi-Washington Post, inani lamahora omama abawachitha nezingane ezineminyaka engu-3 kuya kwengu-11 lenza okuncane ukubikezela ukuziphatha kwengane, inhlalakahle yayo, noma impumelelo yayo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, indlela “yokukhulisa umama ngokujulile” noma “indiza enophephela emhlane yokuba umzali” ingaba nemiphumela engemihle.
"Ukucindezeleka komama, ikakhulukazi lapho omama becindezelekile ngenxa yomsebenzi nokuzama ukuthola isikhathi nezingane, okungenzeka ukuthi empeleni azithinti kahle izingane zabo," umbhali wocwaningo kanye nesazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu sase-Bowling Green State University uKei Nomaguchi etshela iThe Post.
Ukuthelelana ngokomzwelo - noma isenzakalo esingokwengqondo lapho abantu "bebamba" imizwa komunye nomunye njengokungathi bangenwa umkhuhlane - kusiza ukuchaza ukuthi kungani. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi uma umngane wakho ejabule, lokho kukhanya kuzokuthelela; uma edabukile, lobo bumnyama buzodlulisa futhi. Ngakho uma umzali ekhathele noma ekhungathekile, leso simo esingokomzwelo singadlulisela ezinganeni.
9. Bazisa umzamo ngaphezu kokugwema ukwehluleka.
Lapho izingane zicabanga ukuthi impumelelo ivela futhi ibikezela ukuzuza kwazo.
Emashumini eminyaka, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseStanford University uCarol Dweck uthole ukuthi izingane (kanye nabantu abadala) bacabanga ngempumelelo ngenye yezindlela ezimbili. Ku-Brain Pickings ehlale imnandi, u-Maria Popova uthi benza into efana nalena:
“ Umqondo ogxilile ” uthatha ngokuthi isimilo sethu, ubuhlakani, nekhono lokusungula izinto azishintshile esingeke sazishintsha nganoma iyiphi indlela ephusile, futhi impumelelo iwukuqinisekisa kwalowo buhlakani bemvelo, ukuhlola ukuthi lokho okunikezwayo kulinganisa kanjani ngokulinganayo. izinga elimisiwe; ukulwela impumelelo nokugwema ukwehluleka ngazo zonke izindlela kuba yindlela yokugcina umuzwa wokuhlakanipha noma ikhono.
Umqondo “wokukhula ,” ngakolunye uhlangothi, uyaphumelela enseleleni futhi awuboni ukwehluleka njengobufakazi bokuntula ukuhlakanipha kodwa njengesisekelo esikhuthazayo sokukhula kanye nokwelula amakhono ethu akhona.
Okubalulekile umehluko endleleni ocabanga ngayo ukuthi intando yakho ithinta ikhono lakho, futhi inomthelela onamandla ezinganeni. Uma izingane zitshelwa ukuthi ziphumelele ukuhlolwa ngenxa yobuhlakani bazo abazalwa nazo, lokho kudala umqondo “olungisiwe”. Uma bephumelele ngenxa yomzamo, lokho kufundisa umqondo "wokukhula".
10. Omama bayasebenza.
Ngokocwaningo olwenziwa e-Harvard Business School, kunezinzuzo ezibalulekile ezinganeni ezikhula komama abasebenza ngaphandle kwekhaya.
Lolu cwaningo luthole ukuthi amadodakazi omama abasebenzayo aya esikoleni isikhathi eside, maningi amathuba okuba abe nomsebenzi wokuqondisa, futhi ahola imali eyengeziwe - ngo-23% ngaphezulu uma kuqhathaniswa nontanga yabo abakhuliswe omama abangenamakhaya.
Amadodana kamama abasebenzayo nawo abevame ukufaka okwengeziwe emisebenzini yasekhaya nokunakekela izingane, ucwaningo lwathola - achitha amahora ayisikhombisa nesigamu ngaphezulu ngesonto ekunakekelweni kwezingane kanye neminye imizuzu engama-25 emsebenzini wasendlini.
“Ukumodela kuyindlela yokubonisa lokho okufanele ngendlela oziphatha ngayo, okwenzayo, imisebenzi oyenzayo, nalokho okholelwayo,” kusho umbhali oholayo wocwaningo, uprofesa waseHarvard Business School uKathleen L. McGinn, etshela iBusiness Insider. .
"Zimbalwa kakhulu izinto esizaziyo ezinomthelela ocacile ekungalinganini kobulili njengokukhuliswa ngumama osebenzayo," etshela i-Working Knowledge.
11. Banesimo esiphezulu senhlalo-mnotho.
Ngokudabukisayo, ingxenye eyodwa kwesihlanu yezingane zaseMelika zikhulela ebumpofu, isimo esinciphisa kakhulu amandla azo.
Sekuya ngokwedlulele. Ngokomcwaningi waseStanford University uSean Reardon, igebe lempumelelo phakathi kwemindeni ehola kakhulu kanye nehola kancane “lilikhulu ngo-30% kuya ku-40% ezinganeni ezizalwe ngo-2001 kunalezo ezazalwa eminyakeni engu-25 ngaphambili.”
Njengoba umlobi othi “Drive” uDan Pink ephawulile, lapho iholo labazali liphezulu, liba likhulu inani lamaphuzu e-SAT ezingane.
“Ukungabi bikho kokungenelela okuphelele nokumba eqolo, isimo senhlalo-mnotho yiso esiqhuba ukuzuza kwezemfundo nokusebenza,” ebhala.
12: 'Zinegunya' kunokuthi 'zinegunya' noma 'ziyavumela.'
Yaqala ukushicilelwa ngawo-1960, i-University of California, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esithuthukayo saseBerkeley u-Diana Baumride sathola ukuthi kunezinhlobo ezintathu zezitayela zokukhulisa izingane [pdf]:
- Vumelana: Umzali uzama ukungajezisi futhi ayamukele ingane
- Igunya: Umzali uzama ukubumba nokulawula ingane ngokusekelwe esimisweni sokuziphatha esimisiwe
- Igunya: Umzali uzama ukuqondisa ingane ngendlela enengqondo
Okuhle yikhona okugunyaziwe. Ingane ikhula inenhlonipho ngegunya, kodwa ayizizwa iklinywa yikho.
13: Bafundisa 'igrit.'
I-cadet yase-West Point ngesikhathi sokuthweswa iziqu.
Ngo-2013, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sase-University of Pennsyvania u-Angela Duckworth wawina uxhaso lwe-MacArthur “genius” ngokuvundulula isici sobuntu esinamandla nesishayela ngempumelelo esibizwa ngegrit.
Kuchazwa “njengokuthambekela kokusekela intshisekelo kanye nomzamo wokufinyelela imigomo yesikhathi eside,” ucwaningo lwakhe luhlobanise intshiseko nokuzuzwa kwemfundo, isilinganiso samaphuzu ebanga ku-Ivy League undergrads, ukugcinwa kumacadet ase-West Point, kanye nesikhundla ku-US National Spelling Bee. .
Imayelana nokufundisa izingane ukucabanga - nokuzibophezela - ekusaseni ezifuna ukulenza.
