Raising a Kind Kid: Tips from a Child Development Expert

Raising a Kind Kid: Tips from a Child Development Expert

Does your preschooler refuse to share? Have they ever said something really embarrassing (and loud) about a stranger in the supermarket? We’ve all been there. As both a mother and a child development expert, I can tell you that preschoolers haven’t yet developed an understanding of other people’s perspectives; they often say and do what they want, and kindness may not always be on their radar.

The Benefits of Kindness

Studies show that performing acts of kindness can enhance a child's sense of belonging, improve self-esteem and social skills, strengthen relationships, and increase happiness. Simply put, doing something kind for someone else feels good!

Show What Kindness Is

Instead of just explaining what kindness means, demonstrate it. Point out acts of kindness you observe in books, on TV, or during playtime. Model kindness at home and in public—remember, you are their best teacher!

Be Their Kindness Coach

Set your child up for success by creating specific opportunities for kindness. For example, say, “Your brother loves MEGA Bloks. I think he’d be really happy if you shared one with him. That would be really kind of you!” Suggest small acts of kindness your preschooler can do independently, such as:

  • Smiling
  • Giving a compliment
  • Drawing a picture for someone
  • Saying “please” and “thank you”
  • Sharing during playtime
  • Asking a friend to choose the game they play

Use Pretend Play to Practice Empathy

Most preschoolers don’t yet understand how their words and actions affect others' feelings. While playing together, encourage empathy and perspective by asking your child how they think their character feels. For example: “Uh-oh! Your doll is not sharing with her friend! How do you think her friend feels? How does your doll feel?”

Pour on the Praise

Reward even the smallest acts of kindness with generous praise. This not only reinforces the behavior but also sets the expectation that kindness is important to you. Additionally, your praise serves as a great example of being kind.

Discuss—and Celebrate—Differences

Expose your child to people who are different from your family. Choose media and toys that represent various cultures, abilities, languages, genders, and races. Encourage them to ask questions, and discuss those inquiries to foster acceptance, empathy, and, yes, kindness.

Teach Kindness During Playtime

MEGA Bloks can be a powerful tool for teaching kindness during play. Encourage your child to build something together with a sibling or friend, emphasizing the importance of collaboration and sharing. Suggest taking turns adding blocks to a shared structure or helping a younger sibling create their vision. This fosters teamwork and teaches them the joy of helping others achieve their goals, while also learning empathy and cooperation.

A Gentle Reminder

Every child develops at their own pace. These tips serve as general guidelines.

Be Kind to Yourself

Being kind to yourself is just as important as teaching kindness to others. Teaching kindness requires patience, and let’s be honest: being kind isn’t always easy for adults or children. It’s okay to show your child that you sometimes struggle to be as kind as you’d like to be. Keep practicing kindness together!

And speaking of practicing kindness—thank you for reading this article!

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