Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kuyisigaba esivamile nesivamile sokukhula kwezinsana nezinsana.
Kubhekiselwa ekukhathazekeni ababa nakho lapho umnakekeli wabo ebashiya, njengalapho ebashiya enkulisa noma eya emsebenzini. Izingane ezisacathula ezinokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana zingakhala futhi zinamathele lapho abanakekeli behamba, ngisho noma imizuzwana embalwa.
Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kungase kube nzima ukubhekana nakho kokubili izinsana kanye nabanakekeli, kodwa kunezindlela zokunciphisa ukucindezeleka nokuzisiza ukubhekana nazo. Kulesi sihloko, sizoxoxa ngokuthi yini ebangela ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ezinganeni nasezinsaneni, indlela yokubona izimpawu, nokuthi ungayiphatha kanjani emini nasebusuku.
Yini ebangela ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ezinganeni nasezinsaneni?
Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kwenzeka lapho izingane ziqala ukufunda into unomphela. Into ehlala unomphela ukuqonda ukuthi abantu nezinto ziyaqhubeka nokuba khona, ngisho nalapho bengakwazi ukuzibona. Izingane ziqala ukuqonda lokhu lapho zinezinyanga ezingu-6-12¹. Nokho, ngenxa yokuthi abasiqondi isikhathi, abazi ukuthi umnakekeli wabo uzobuya nini. Lokhu kubangela ukuba besabe futhi bathukuthele.Lapho izingane sezikwazi ukuzimela ngesikhathi zikhula, zingase zikwazi ukuqaphela kakhulu ukwehlukana nomnakekeli wazo. Lokhu kungase kubangele ukuthi badlule kwesinye isigaba sokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana².
Ezimweni eziningi, ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kuzophela ngokwemvelo njengoba ingane ikhula. Kodwa-ke, izici ezithile zingayiqala noma ziyibhebhethekise, njenge:
- Ukufika kwengane yakini entsha
- Isilungiselelo sokunakekela izingane esisha noma esingajwayelekile
- Umnakekeli omusha
- Ukuthuthela ekhaya
- Ukulahlekelwa umzali noma umnakekeli
- Ukungabikho okunwetshiwe kumnakekeli, isibonelo, ngenxa yokuthunyelwa kwezempi
- Ukucindezeleka komnakekeli, usana olungase lubhekane nakho
- Ukuzizwa ukhathele, ulambile noma ungaphathekile kahle
Obunye ubufakazi bubonisa ukuthi izitayela zokukhulisa izingane nazo zingadlala indima. Isitayela somzali esingakhuthazi ukuzimela, noma ikhono lezingane lokuzenzela ezinye izinqumo, singaqinisa ukunamathela².
Indlela yokubona izimpawu zokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ezinganeni nasezincane?
Izimpawu ezingaba khona zokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana enganeni noma enganeni zingabandakanya²³:
- Ukukhala lapho umnakekeli ephuma ekamelweni
- Ukunamathela kumnakekeli, ikakhulukazi ezimweni ezintsha noma ezingajwayelekile
- Ukwesaba abantu ongabazi
- Intandokazi enamandla yomnakekeli oyedwa kunomunye
- Kudinga umnakekeli ukuthi ahlale eduze ukuze abone noma azithinte
- Ukuba nenkinga yokulala ngaphandle komnakekeli oseduze
- Ukuba namaphupho amabi ngokuhlukaniswa nomnakekeli
- Ukungabaza ukudlala nezinye izingane noma ukuhlanganyela emisebenzini ngaphandle komnakekeli
Akuzona zonke izingane nezinsana ezizobonisa zonke lezi zimpawu, futhi ezinye zingase zingabonisi nhlobo. Amandla kanye nobude besikhathi sokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kungahluka kuye ngokuthi ingane inesimilo, ubudala, nesimo.
Indlela yokuphatha ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ezinganeni nasezincane phakathi nosuku?
Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kungaba inselele kokubili ezinsaneni nakubanakekeli phakathi nosuku, ikakhulukazi lapho kufanele bahlukane nomsebenzi noma ukunakekelwa kwengane. Nokho, akhona amasu angasiza ekudambiseni uguquko futhi alwenze lungabi nengcindezi kuzo zombili izinhlangothi²³:
- Zijwayeze ukuhlukanisa isikhashana nengane yakho kuqala. Ungase uqale ngokubashiya benakekelwa omunye umuntu imizuzu embalwa ngenkathi uya kwelinye igumbi noma wenze okuthile. Khulisa kancane kancane ubude kanye nemvamisa yalokhu kwehlukana njengoba ingane yakho ikujwayela.
- Xoxani ngalokho enizokwenza ndawonye kamuva. Khuluma nengane yakho mayelana nokuthi uzokwenzani uma uyibona futhi ukuze ibe nokuthile okuhle okufanele ibheke phambili. Isibonelo, ungathi "Ngizobuya ngemva kwesidlo sasemini bese siya epaki".
- Shiya okuthile okududuzayo nengane yakho. Ungase ushiyele ingane yakho ithoyizi, ingubo yokulala, noma isiqeshana sengubo esinuka njengawe noma esiyikhumbuza ngawe. Lokhu kungabasiza bazizwe bevikeleke kakhulu futhi bexhumene nawe ngenkathi ungekho.
- Yakha isimiso sokuvalelisa esingaguquki nesiqinisekisayo. Zama ukugcina ukuhamba kwakho kuzolile futhi kubikezelwe. Igone ingane yakho bese uyiqabula, uyitshele ukuthi uyaphi nokuthi uzobuya nini, bese uvalelisa ngokuzethemba. Gwema ukunyonyoba ngaphandle kokuvalelisa noma ukwelula isikhathi sokuvalelisa ngoba lokhu kungenza bakhathazeke kakhulu.
- Khetha umnakekeli othembekile nojwayelekile. Uma kungenzeka, zama ukushiya ingane yakho nomuntu omaziyo futhi omethembayo, njengesihlobo, umngane, noma umzanyana ovamile. Uma kufanele usebenzise umnakekeli omusha noma ongajwayelekile, zama ukumethula enganeni yakho kusenesikhathi futhi umvumele achithe isikhathi ndawonye ngesikhathi nisekhona.
- Msekele futhi ube nozwela. Yazisa imizwa yengane yakho futhi ubazise ukuthi kulungile ukudabuka noma ukwesaba. Baqinisekise ukuthi uyabathanda nokuthi uzobuya njalo. Bancome ngokuba nesibindi nokubekezelela kahle isimo.
Indlela yokuphatha ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ezinganeni nasezincane ebusuku?
Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kungase futhi kuthinte izingane nojahidada ebusuku, okwenza kube nzima ngabo ukuthi balale noma bahlale belele ngaphandle komnakekeli eduze. Lokhu kungaphazamisa ikhwalithi yabo yokulala futhi kuthinte isimo sabo sengqondo nokukhula. Nawa amathiphu okusiza ingane yakho noma ingane yakho ukuthi ilale kangcono ebusuku naphezu kokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana²³:
- Yiba nesimiso esivamile nesiphumuzayo sokulala. Ukuba nohlelo lwesikhathi sokulala olungaguquki futhi olupholile kungasiza ingane yakho noma ingane yakho ukuthi ihlise umoya futhi ilungiselele ukulala. Ungafaka phakathi imisebenzi efana nokufunda indaba, ukucula i-lullaby, noma ukubhucunga umzimba.
- Dala indawo yokulala enethezekile nephephile. Qiniseka ukuthi ingane yakho noma ingane encane inendawo ethokomele nevikelekile yokulala, enokukhanya okwanele, izinga lokushisa kanye namazinga omsindo. Ungasebenzisa futhi ukukhanya kwasebusuku, umshini womsindo omhlophe, noma isiphephetha-moya ukuze udale umsindo othile ongemuva futhi uvale noma imiphi imisindo engase ibathuse.
- Khuthaza amakhono okuzithoba. Fundisa ingane yakho noma ingane encane indlela yokuzola futhi ilale yodwa, ngaphandle kokuthembela ebukhoneni bakho noma osizweni lwakho. Lokhu ungakwenza ngokuwafaka embhedeni noma embhedeni lapho ozele kodwa ephapheme, futhi uzivumele zizinze. Uma bekhala noma bexabana, ungase ubahlole kafushane futhi ubaqinisekise, kodwa ugweme ukubaphakamisa noma ukuhlala isikhathi eside kakhulu.
- Gwema ukulala ndawonye noma ukwabelana ngombhede. Nakuba kungase kube isilingo ukwabelana nombhede wakho nengane yakho noma ingane encane ukuze unciphise ukukhathazeka kwayo, lokhu kungenza kube kubi nakakhulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ukulala ndawonye noma ukwabelana ngombhede kungadala ukuncika ekuthinteni kwakho ngokomzimba futhi kukwenze kube nzima ngabo ukuthi balale ngokuzimela. Kungase futhi kubangele izingozi zokuphepha enganeni yakho noma ingane yakho encane, njengokuqunjelwa, ukuklinywa, noma ukushisa ngokweqile.
- Yiba nesineke futhi ungaguquguquki. Kungase kuthathe isikhathi nomzamo ukuze ingane yakho noma ingane encane inqobe ukukhathazeka kwayo ngokuhlukana futhi ilale kangcono ebusuku. Zama ukuba nesineke futhi uhambisane nendlela yakho yokwenza, futhi ugweme ukuvumela izimfuno zabo noma ukushintsha imithetho. Khumbula ukuthi lesi yisigaba esijwayelekile esizodlula ekugcineni.
Ungalufuna nini usizo lochwepheshe lokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ezinganeni nasezinsaneni?
Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ngokuvamile kuyisigaba esivamile nesesikhashana sokukhula kwezingane kanye nojahidada esingadingi ukungenelela kwezokwelapha. Nokho, kwezinye izimo, ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kungaba nzima noma kuphikelele ngokwanele ukuze kuphazamise ukusebenza kwansuku zonke kwengane noma kubangele ukucindezeleka okukhulu enganeni noma kumnakekeli.
Uma ingane yakho noma ingane yakho encane ibonisa noma yiziphi izimpawu ezilandelayo, ungase ufune ukubonana nodokotela wakho noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo¹:
- Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana okukhulu noma isikhathi eside okuhlala ngaphezu kwezinyanga eziyi-18 ubudala
- Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana okuphazamisa isikole noma eminye imisebenzi yansuku zonke
- Ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana okuhlanganisa ukwethuka, izimpawu zomzimba, noma ukuziphatha okweqisayo
- Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana okwenzeka ngemva kwesigameko esibuhlungu noma ushintsho olukhulu empilweni
- Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana okuhambisana nezinye izinkinga ezingokomzwelo noma zokuziphatha
Udokotela wakho noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo angahlola isimo sengane yakho futhi anqume ukuthi bane-separation disorder disorder (SAD), okuwuhlobo olubi kakhulu lokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana okudinga ukwelashwa.
Ukwelashwa kwe-SAD kungase kuhlanganise:
- I-Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT), okuwuhlobo lwe-psychotherapy olusiza izingane ukuthi zifunde ukubhekana nokwesaba nemicabango emibi
- Ukwelashwa komndeni, okubandakanya ukusebenza nabazali noma abanakekeli ukuthuthukisa amakhono okuxhumana nawokukhulisa izingane
- Imithi, engase ibekwe kwezinye izimo ukunciphisa izimpawu zokukhathazeka
Isiphetho
Ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana kuyisigaba esivamile nesivamile sokukhula kwezingane kanye nojahidada esibonisa ukuthi sezakhele ukunamathelana okuqinile nomnakekeli wazo. Nokho, kungase futhi kubangele ukucindezeleka nezinselele kokubili ezinsaneni nakubanakekeli emini nasebusuku.
Ziningi izindlela zokusiza izingane ezisacathula ukuba zibhekane nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana, njengokuzijwayeza ngokwehlukana okufushane, ukushiya okuthile okududuzayo kuzo, ukwakha isimiso esingaguquguquki sokuvalelisa, ukusungula isimiso esivamile sokulala, ukukhuthaza amakhono okuziduduza, kanye nokusekela nozwela.
Iningi lezingane kanye nezinsana zizokhula ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana cishe eminyakeni emi-3 ubudala. Kodwa-ke, uma ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kunzima noma kuphikelela ngokwanele ukuthi kuthinte ukusebenza kwansuku zonke kwengane noma kubangele ukucindezeleka okukhulu, kungase kube uphawu lokuhlukana kokukhathazeka kokukhathazeka (SAD), okudinga usizo lochwepheshe.
Uma ukhathazekile ngokukhathazeka kokuhlukana kwengane yakho, kufanele uthintane nodokotela wakho noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ukuze uthole iseluleko.
Imithombo:
(1) Ukuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana - Izimpawu nezimbangela - I-Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/separation-anxiety-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20377455 .
(2) Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana kwezingane: Izimbangela, izimpawu, nendlela yokusiza. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/separation-anxiety-in-babies .
(3) Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana - NHS. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/babys-development/behaviour/separation-anxiety/ .
