Ungayinikeza kanjani ingane yakho isiyalo ukuze isebenze kahle ekhaya nasemphakathini? Wonke umzali ufuna izingane zabo zijabule, zihlonipheke, zihlonishwe abanye, futhi zikwazi ukuthola indawo yazo emhlabeni njengabantu abadala abaziphethe kahle. Akekho ofuna ukusolwa ngokukhulisa i-spoiled brat. Qhubeka ufunde ukuze uthole izithiyo ekuziphatheni okuhle, izindlela zokuziphatha ezisebenzayo, nokuthi ungaluthola nini usizo lwamaphethini okuziphatha ayingozi.
Siyini Isiyalo?
Isiyalo yinqubo yokufundisa ingane yakho ukuthi hlobo luni lokuziphatha olwamukelekayo nokuthi yiluphi uhlobo olungamukelekile. Ngamanye amazwi, ukuyala kufundisa ingane ukulandela imithetho. Isiyalo esisebenzayo sisebenzisa amathuluzi amaningi ahlukene, njengokuqinisa okuhle, ukumodela, nomndeni onothando nowesekayo. Kwesinye isikhathi, izijeziso nazo ziyithuluzi elisebenzayo-kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi isiyalo esihle kakhulukazi simayelana nezijeziso. Kuzwakala kuqondile, nokho wonke umzali uyakhungatheka ngesinye isikhathi ngezindaba ezithinta izingane nesiyalo.
Yakha Indima Yakho Njengomzali
Abazali babhekana nezithiyo lapho bezama ukufundisa ukuziphatha okuhle, njengezingane ezithi:
- Abahloniphi futhi abalaleli: "Kumelwe ngitshele izikhathi eziyinkulungwane!"
- Lalela, kodwa wenqabe noma ungalaleli ngamabomu isicelo sakho sokuziphatha okuhle.
Umthwalo wakho wemfanelo njengomzali uwukusiza ingane yakho ukuba izethembe, ihloniphe futhi izithibe. Izihlobo, izikole, amasonto, abelaphi, ochwepheshe bezempilo, nabanye bangasiza. Kodwa umthwalo wemfanelo oyinhloko wokuyala ukubazali.
I-American Mental Health Association ichaza izitayela ezintathu zokukhulisa izingane. Iyiphi eyakho?
Umzali onegunya unokulindela okucacile nemiphumela futhi unothando enganeni yakhe. Umzali ogunyaziwe uvumela ukuguquguquka nokuxazulula izinkinga ngokubambisana nengane lapho ubhekene nezinselele zokuziphatha. Lolu uhlobo oluphumelela kakhulu lokukhulisa izingane.
Umzali onegunya inokulindela okucacile nemiphumela, kodwa ibonisa uthando oluncane enganeni yayo. Umzali angase asho izinto ezinjengokuthi, "ngoba nginguMama, yingakho." Lolu uhlobo olungasebenzi kahle kakhulu lokukhulisa izingane.
Umzali oyekelelayo ubonisa uthando oluningi enganeni yabo kodwa ayinikezi isiyalo esincane. Lolu uhlobo olungasebenzi kahle kakhulu lokukhulisa izingane.
Amasu Okuziphatha
Okukhethayo kungase kuncike ohlotsheni lokuziphatha okungafanele ingane yakho ekubonisayo, iminyaka yengane yakho, isimo sengqondo somntwana wakho, kanye nendlela yakho yokuba umzali. I-American Academy of Pediatrics, i-American Association of Child and Adolescent I-Psychiatry, kanye ne-National Mental Health Association batusa lokhu:
Vuza ukuziphatha okuhle : Ukwazisa ukuziphatha okuhle kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokukhuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi iqhubeke. Ngamanye amazwi, "Mbambe elungile." Ncoma ingane yakho lapho ibonisa ukuziphatha obukufuna.
Imiphumela engokwemvelo : Ingane yakho yenza okuthile okungalungile, futhi uvumela ingane ukuba ithole umphumela walokho kuziphatha. Asikho isidingo sokuthi "ufundise." Ingane ngeke ikusole ngokwenzekile. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ingane iphula ithoyizi ngamabomu, ayisenalo lelothoyizi engadlala ngalo.
Imiphumela yemvelo ingasebenza kahle uma izingane zibonakala "zingazizwa" izexwayiso zakho mayelana nomphumela ongaba khona wokuziphatha kwazo. Nokho, qiniseka ukuthi noma yimiphi imiphumela abangase babe nayo ayiyona ingozi.
Imiphumela enengqondo : Le nqubo iyafana nemiphumela yemvelo kodwa ihlanganisa ukuchazela ingane yakho ukuthi izoba yini imiphumela ngokuziphatha okungamukeleki. Umphumela uxhumene ngokuqondile nokuziphatha. Isibonelo, utshela ingane yakho ukuthi uma ingawacoshi amathoyizi ayo, lawo mathoyizi azokhishwa isonto lonke.
Ukuthatha amalungelo : Kwesinye isikhathi awukho umphumela ophusile noma wemvelo wokuziphatha okubi -- noma awunaso isikhathi sokucabangisisa ngakho. Kulokhu, umphumela wokuziphatha okungamukeleki kungase kuphuce ilungelo. Isibonelo, uma umfundi wesikole esiphakathi engawuqedi umsebenzi wakhe wesikole ngesikhathi, ungase ukhethe ukumncisha amalungelo ethelevishini kusihlwa. Le nqubo yokuqondisa isebenza kangcono uma ilungelo liwukuthi:
- Kuhlobene ngandlela thize nokuziphatha
- Into ingane eyazisayo
- Ithathwe ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka ngemva kokuziphatha okungafanele (ikakhulukazi ezinganeni ezincane)
Ukuphelelwa yisikhathi : Isikhathi sisebenza uma wazi kahle ukuthi ingane yonani noma udinga ukuphumula ekuziphatheni kwengane. Qiniseka ukuthi unendawo yokuvala esungulwe kusenesikhathi. Kufanele kube indawo ethule, enesicefe -- mhlawumbe hhayi igumbi lokulala (lapho ingane ingadlala khona) noma indawo eyingozi njengendawo yokugezela. Le ndlela yokuqondisa izigwegwe ingasebenza nezingane lapho ingane isikhule ngokwanele ukuthi iqonde injongo yesikhathi sokuphuma -- ngokuvamile phakathi kweminyaka emi-2 nangaphezulu, cishe neminithi lesikhathi sokuphumula unyaka ngamunye. Ukuphuma kwesikhathi kuvame ukusebenza kangcono kakhulu nezingane ezincane lapho ukwehlukana nomzali kubhekwa njengokuncishwa ngempela.
Ukujeziswa komzimba (okungokomzimba), njengokushaywa, akunconyiwe yi-American Academy of Pediatrics noma izinhlangano zempilo yengqondo. Kungani? Ikakhulukazi ngoba izindlela zokuziphatha ezingezona ezomzimba zisebenza kangcono ngemiphumela embalwa engemihle. Ngokusho kwe-AAP, ukushaya kungase:
- Yenza izingane zibe nolaka
- Yiba nobudlova futhi ulimaze ingane
- Yenza izingane zicabange ukuthi KULUNGILE ukulimaza umuntu omthandayo ngokomzimba
Amathiphu Okugcina Isiyalo
Qondisa izindlela zakho zokuziphatha ukuze uvumelane kahle nesimo somntwana wakho. Isihluthulelo sesiyalo esisebenzayo ukuqonda ukuthi ingane yakho ingubani, ikakhulukazi isitayela sayo sokufutheka, futhi usebenzise isiyalo sakho ukuze uyisize ifinyelele amandla ayo uma kubhekwa lawo makhono nokuthambekela. Kodwa umgomo wakho akufanele kube ukubenza umuntu abangeyena (ngokwesibonelo, ukushintsha ingane enomsindo omkhulu ibe ingane ethule).
Xhumana nohlelo lwakho lokuziphatha . Izindlela zokuqondisa izigwegwe akufanele zivele "ngaphandle kwesibhakabhaka," ikakhulukazi uma uzama into entsha. Ezinganeni esezikhule ngokwanele ukuba ziqonde, phakathi nengxoxo ehleliwe (hhayi ekushiseni komzuzu) chaza indlela, kungani uyisebenzisa, nokuthi yini othemba ukuthi izofeza. Izingane ezindala zingase zifakwe ekukhetheni ukuthi yimiphi imiklomelo nemiphumela efanelekile.
Hlonipha ingane yakho . Uma ubonisa ingane yakho inhlonipho -- ngisho nalapho ulaya ingane yakho -- ingane yakho cishe izokuhlonipha, amanye amalungu omndeni, nabanye abantu empilweni yayo. Uma "kulahlekela" noma usabela ngokweqile ngokungahloniphi, xolisa. Ziphathe ngendlela ofuna ingane yakho iziphathe ngayo.
Ungashintshi . Noma iyiphi inqubo izohluleka uma ungalandeli noma ungaphoqeleli imiphumela ngokungashintshi. Uma uthi, ngokwesibonelo, amathoyizi azobe engekho emikhawulweni isonto lonke, bese uwasusa uma ukuziphatha okucasulayo kuqhubeka.
Ungaphuli imithetho yakho yesiyalo ngokuvuma phakathi nemibukiso yasesidlangalaleni yokuziphatha okubi, njengengane ephonsela inzondo lapho iyothenga. Uma uvumela lokho okufunwa ingane, intukuthelo izoqhubeka.
Zama ukugcina imigomo yakho kanye namasu akho angaguquki ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Uma kungaphezu koyedwa umuntu omdala onesibopho sokuyala ingane, qiniseka ukuthi uyavumelana nezindlela ozozisebenzisa.
Uma sekuqediwe kuqedwe . Ngemva kokuthi umphumela usuphelile noma isikhathi sesikhishiwe, ungaceli ukuxolisa noma uqhubeke nokukhuluma ngokuziphatha. Siza ingane yakho ibuyele emsebenzini ofanelekile.
Qonda ukuthi yini elungele ukukhula kwengane yakho . Ngaphambi kokuyala ingane, qiniseka ukuthi ingane iyakuqonda ngempela lokho obumcele ukuba akwenze. Ngezinye izikhathi abazali bafuna ukuziphatha okungaphezu kwekhono lomntwana lokukwenza. Njengamanye amakhono empilweni, ukuziphatha kuvame ukudinga "ukukhuliswa."
Bheka ukuthi "kungani" ngemuva kokuziphatha . Uma ubona iphethini yokuziphatha okungalungile, ingxenye yesixazululo ukubheka "kungani." Ngokwesibonelo, mhlawumbe ingane yakho iphatheke kabi ngenye into, njengomngane ohambayo. Mhlawumbe ingane yakho ibe nosuku olubi esikoleni. Mhlawumbe ingane yakho icindezelekile ngezinkinga zomkhaya. Mhlawumbe bakhathele noma elambile.
Lezi zincazelo azikuthetheleli ukuziphatha, kodwa ukuzama ukuqonda ukuthi kungani kwenzeka kungakusiza wena nengane yakho nithole izindlela zokukuvimbela ukuthi kungenzeki ngokuphindaphindiwe.
Yazi Nini Futhi Kuphi Ukuze Uthole Usizo
Zinike ikhefu. Ngisho noma unamasu okuziphatha angcono kakhulu kanye nesitayela sokukhulisa izingane, kunezinsuku lapho kubonakala kungekho lutho olusebenzayo. Noma mhlawumbe ube nosuku olubi, futhi. Ukuthuthukisa amakhono okuziphatha okuhle kuthatha ukuzijwayeza okuningi kanye nesikhathi esiningi. Uma unomuzwa wokuthi wenze iphutha, khuluma iqiniso. Xolisa enganeni yakho futhi uchaze indlela ohlela ukuyishintsha impendulo yakho ngokuzayo.
Kungase kube nezikhathi lapho ungazi ukuthi wenzeni ngokulandelayo. Noma ungase ungazi ukuthi ungashintsha kanjani kusukela kokwenzayo manje uye kokuthile okuzosebenza kangcono.
Noma nini lapho unemibuzo mayelana nokuziphatha nesiyalo sengane yakho, thintana nodokotela wengane yakho. Kungase kube isikhathi sokufuna usizo kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo uma ubona:
- Ukungahlonishwa okuqhubekayo kwazo zonke iziphathimandla: abazali, othisha, nabanye abantu abadala
- Ukuziphatha okunolaka noma okulimazayo
- Izimpawu zokucindezeleka, njengokuzizwa uluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka isikhathi eside, ukungabi nabangane, noma ukusongela ukuzibulala
- Ingane yakho noma amanye amalungu omndeni asebenzisa izidakamizwa noma utshwala ukuze abhekane nokucindezeleka noma ezinye izinkinga ezimpilweni zawo
- Ubudlelwano obuningana emndenini bunzima
Umthombo https://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/discipline-tactics
