Akekho umzali owenza yonke into ngendlela efanele.
Naphezu kwezinhloso zethu ezinhle, kukhona izikhathi lapho silahlekelwa khona isineke, sikhulume into esifisa ukuthi singayibuyisa noma senze izinqumo ezizwakala zilungile ngaleso sikhathi kodwa kamuva zisenze sizibuze imibuzo. Ukuba umzali kugcwele izinqumo, futhi ngalezo zinqumo kuvame ukuba khona ukuzisola.
Kwabaningi abazali, ukuzisola kufika buthule. Kungase kuvele ngemuva kwesikhathi sokulala esinzima lapho ulaka selufikile. Kungase kuvele lapho ubuka izithombe zakudala bese uqaphela ukuthi iminyaka ihambe ngokushesha kangakanani. Ngezinye izikhathi kuvela lapho siziqhathanisa neminye imindeni noma sicabanga ngamathuba esifisa ukuthi ngabe siwaphathe ngendlela ehlukile.
Iqiniso liwukuthi ukuzisola kokuba umzali kuvamile kakhulu.
Abazali abaningi baphethe izinkumbulo zezikhathi ababezishintsha ukuba banikezwe ithuba. Abanye bayazisola ngokuba baqinile kakhulu. Abanye bayazisola ngokungabeki imingcele eyanele. Abanye bafisa ukuthi ngabe bachithe isikhathi esiningi esihle nezingane zabo, kanti abanye bafisa ukuthi ngabe bakhathazeka kancane futhi bajabulela uhambo kakhulu.
Okwenza ukuzisola kokuba umzali kube buhlungu ikakhulukazi ukuthi kubandakanya abantu esibathanda kakhulu. Ngenxa yokuthi sibakhathalela kakhulu abantwana bethu, ngisho namaphutha amancane angase azwakale emakhulu lapho ubuka emuva.
Nokho ukuzisola akuyona ngempela imizwa engemihle.
Ezindleleni eziningi, ukuzisola kukhombisa ukukhula. Kuvame ukusho ukuthi sifunde okuthile okubalulekile. Umzali oyena namuhla akesiyena umuntu obuyena eminyakeni emihlanu edlule, noma ngisho ezinyangeni eziyisithupha ezedlule. Ulwazi, ukuvuthwa kanye nokucabanga kushintsha indlela esibuka ngayo izinqumo zesikhathi esedlule.
Elinye lamaphutha amakhulu abazali abawenza ukukholelwa ukuthi ukuzisola kusho ukwehluleka ngokuzenzakalelayo.
Akusho lokho.
Ukwehluleka kusikisela ukudela noma ukwenqaba ukufunda. Ukuzisola kuvame ukukhombisa okuphambene. Kukhombisa ukuthi uyanakekela, ukuthi uyacabanga nokuthi ufuna ukwenza kangcono ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Izingane azidingi abazali abaphelele.
Zidinga abazali abazimisele ukufunda, ukulungisa nokuxhumana kabusha.
Enye yezinto ezinamandla kakhulu umzali angayenza ukwamukela amaphutha. Lapho kufanelekile, ukuxolisa enganeni kufundisa ukuziphendulela, ubuhlakani obungokomzwelo kanye nokuqina. Kukhombisa izingane ukuthi ukwenza amaphutha kuyingxenye yokuba umuntu nokuthi ubudlelwano bungabuya ezikhathini ezinzima.
Esinye isinyathelo esibalulekile ukuzwelana.
Abazali abaningi bazibekela amazinga angenakwenzeka. Imithombo yezokuxhumana, izeluleko zokuba umzali kanye namasiko okuqhathanisa kungadala inkohliso yokuthi wonke umuntu uyayiqonda. Eqinisweni, yonke imindeni ibhekana nezinselele, izithiyo kanye nezikhathi zokungabaza.
Ukuziphatha ngomusa ofanayo ongawunikeza umngane kungasiza ukunciphisa umthwalo wecala nehlazo. Esikhundleni sokugxila kuphela kulokho okungahambanga kahle, cabanga ukuthi yini oyifundile nokuthi ungazisebenzisa kanjani lezo zifundo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Kufanelekile futhi ukukhumbula ukuthi izingane ziqina kakhulu. Nakuba kungekho mzali ophelele, uthando olungaguquki, ukwesekwa nokuxhumana kunomthelela omkhulu kakhulu kunamaphutha athile. Okungenzeka ukuthi izingane zikukhumbula kakhulu akuyona ukuphelela, kodwa ukuba khona.
Ukuzisola kokuba umzali kungaba amathuba abalulekile okukhula. Kukhuthaza ukuzazi futhi kusiza ukucacisa uhlobo lomzali ofuna ukuba nguye. Izifundo ezifundwe ezikhathini ezinzima zivame ukwakha ubudlelwano obuqinile kanye nemikhakha yomndeni enempilo esikhathini esizayo.
Uma uzithola uphinda amaphutha adlule, zibuze umbuzo olula: Ngingafundani kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho?
Impendulo ingase inikeze indlela eya phambili.
Ukuba umzali akuyona into yokuzuza ukuphelela. Kumayelana nokuvela, ukufunda, ukuzivumelanisa nezimo nokuqhubeka nokuthanda umntwana wakho kuzo zonke izigaba zokuphila. Izikhathi ozisola ngazo azichazi uhambo lwakho lokuba umzali. Okwenza ngalezo zifundo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi yikho okubaluleke kakhulu.
Ufuna ukuhlola lesi sihloko ngokujulile futhi uthole ukuthi abanye abazali bahlela kanjani ukuzisola nokuzithethelela? Funda isihloko esigcwele ku-BabyYumYum:
https://babyyumyum.com/when-you-regret-your-parenting-choices/
