Umdlalo Ongaqhakambisi Odlalwa Abazali Abalindele Umntwana

The Silent Comparison Game Expecting Parents Play

Ukukhulelwa kuvame ukuletha umkhuba ongahlosile. Ukuqhathanisa.

Akukhona ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokusobala. Akukhona ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokuqaphela. Kodwa njalo.

Uqhathanisa izimpawu, amazinga wamandla, izimpendulo ezingokomzwelo kanye nokubekezela. Uyakubona ukuthi abanye abazali abazobe bekhulelwe babonakala bephatha kanjani. Uziqhathanisa nalokho okubonayo, nalokho okukuzwayo nalokho ocabanga ukuthi ukukhulelwa kufanele kubukeke kanjani.

Lo mdlalo wokuqhathanisa akuvamile ukukhulunywa ngawo, nokho ushintsha ngendlela ethulile indlela abazali abaningi abathola ngayo ukukhulelwa.

Ukuqhathanisa Kuqala Ngaphambi Kokuba Abaningi Bacabange

Ukuqhathanisa kuvame ukuqala ngokushesha nje lapho kuqinisekiswa ukukhulelwa.

Ukuthi izimpawu zivela ngokushesha kangakanani.
Uqizwa kanjani uma uqhathaniswa nabanye abasesigabeni esifanayo.
Ucabanga ukuthi ubhekana kahle kangakanani.

Ngenxa yokuthi ukukhulelwa kugcwele ukungaqiniseki, ukuqhathanisa kuba yindlela yokufuna ukuqinisekiswa.

Uma abanye bezizwa ngendlela efanayo, izinto kufanele zibe sezijwayelekile. Uma bebonakala bephatha kangcono, ukungazethembi kuyakhula.

Kungani Ukuqhathanisa Kuzwakala Kungokuzenzakalelayo Ngesikhathi Sokukhulelwa

Ukukhulelwa kususa izinto ezijwayelekile zokwenza izinto.

Umzimba wakho uzizwa uhlukile. Imizwa yakho iyashintsha. Izindlela zakho zokuzenza ziyashintsha. Ngaphandle kwesiqalo esicacile, ingqondo ibheka ngaphandle ukuze ithole izeluleko.

Ukuqhathanisa kuba yindlela yokuziqondisa.

Ingqondo Ifuna Okujwayelekile

Ukuqhathanisa okwenzeka kusiza ingqondo ukunquma ukuthi yini ephephile noma elindelekile. Inkinga wukuthi okwenzeka ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa kwehluka kakhulu.

Okujwayelekile komunye umuntu kungase kungabonakali komunye.

Yini Abazali Abakhulelwe Abavame Ukuqhathanisa Kakhulu

Ukuqhathanisa ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa akuvamile ukuba mayelana nento eyodwa kuphela.

Izimpawu zomzimba zivame ukuqhathaniswa kuqala. Isicani, ukukhathala, izinguquko zesisisindo kanye nokungakhululeki kuba amaphuzu okulinganisa.

Izimpendulo ezingokomzwelo nazo ziyaqhathaniswa. Ukuzizwa ukhathazekile, uzolile, ujabule noma udidekile konke kungaba yimbangela yokwahlulela.

Izigaba zengeza olunye ungqimba. Usayizi wesisu, imiphumela yokuskena, isikhathi sokunyakaza kanye namazinga okulungiselela kuvame ukuqhathaniswa buthule.

Imidiya Yokuxhumana Ikhulisa Umdlalo Wokuqhathanisa

Imidiya yokuxhumana ikhuthaza ukuqhathanisa ngokwethula uhlobo oluhleliwe lokukhulelwa.

Izithombe zibonisa izisu ezihlelwe kahle, isikhumba esicwebezelayo kanye nezikhathi zokuthula. Izinsuku ezinzima akuvamile ukwabelana ngazo ngokubonakala okufanayo.

Izithombe Zenza Izindinganiso Eziphambukile

Ukubona izikhathi ezinhle kakhulu kuphela kwenza kube nombono wokuthi abanye bajabulela ukukhulelwa kakhulu noma babekezelela kangcono.

Lokhu kwenza ukungahleleki okujwayelekile kuzwakale kungajwayelekile.

Ukuqhathanisa Kuvame Ukuphenduka Ukuzahlulela

Umdlalo wokuqhathanisa othulile akuvamile ukuthi uhlale ungathathi hlangothi.

Kuvame ukuholela emibuzweni efana nale:

Kungani ngihlukumezeka kakhulu
Kungani ngingazizwa kanjalo
Kungani lokhu kunzima kakhulu kimi

Le mibuzo isho ukuthi ubunzima bubonisa ukwehluleka kunokuba ube umehluko.

Kungani Ukuqhathanisa Kuzwakala Kunzima Ukukhuluma Ngakho

Abazali abaningi abakhulelwe abavumi ukuthi bayaziqhathanisa.

Ukuqhathanisa kungazwakala kubi, kungathembeki noma kungabongwa, ikakhulukazi uma ukukhulelwa kufunwa.

Ngenxa yalokho, ukuqhathanisa kwenzeka ngaphakathi, ngaphandle kokuphikiswa noma ukulungiswa.

Ukuqhathanisa Akunaki Umongo

Enye yezinkinga ezinkulu ngokuqhathanisa wukuthi kususa umongo.

Awuboni umlando ophelele wezempilo yomunye umuntu, amazinga okucindezeleka, uhlelo lokusekela noma izinkinga zangasese.

Ukuqhathanisa imiphumela ngaphandle komongo kudala iziphetho ezingamanga.

Isigaba Esifanayo Akusho Okuhlangenwe Nakho Okufanayo

Abantu ababili bangaba sesigabeni esifanayo sokukhulelwa futhi babe nezimo ezihlukile ngokuphelele.

Ukukhulelwa kubunjwa ibhayoloji, umthwalo wengqondo, umlando ongokomzwelo kanye nezimo zokuphila.

Ngisho Nokuqhathanisa Okuhle Kungalimaza

Ukuqhathanisa akulimazi kuphela uma uzizwa ungemuva.

Ngisho nokuzizwa uphambili kungadala ingcindezi yokugcina isithombe noma ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa yindawo.

Ukuqhathanisa kugcina ukunaka ngaphandle kunokuba ngaphakathi.

Ukuqhathanisa Kubathinta Kanjani Inhlalakahle Engokomzwelo

Ukuqhathanisa njalo kwandisa ukukhathazeka, ukungazethembi kanye nokunganeliseki.

Kunganciphisa ukuzethemba emzimbeni wakho nasezinhliziyweni. Kungenza izinqumo zizwakale zinzima futhi imizwa izwakale ingenasisekelo.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kunezela umthwalo wengqondo kulokho okungadinga kakhulu.

Kungani Umdlalo Wokuqhathanisa Uvamile Kangaka

Umdlalo wokuqhathanisa uchuma ekuthuleni.

Ngenxa yokuthi abantu abambalwa bakhuluma ngobuqotho mayelana nokuthi ukukhulelwa kuzwakala kanjani, abazali abakhulelwe bagcwalisa izikhala ngemicabango.

Ukungabi khona kwengxoxo yangempela kuvumela ukuqhathanisa ukuba kuzwakale njengendawo eyodwa yokubhekisela.

Okusiza Ukwephula Umjikelezo Wokuqhathanisa

Ukuqaphela kuyisinyathelo sokuqala.

Ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuqhathanisa kwenzeka nini kusiza ukunciphisa amandla ako.

Ukunciphisa ukubhekana nokuqukethwe okudala ukuqhathanisa kungavikela inhlalakahle engokomzwelo.

Ukugxilisa kabusha isipiliyoni sakho, izidingo zakho kanye nemikhawulo kusiza ukwakha kabusha ukwethemba wena ngokwakho.

Ukukhulelwa Akukhona Umncintiswano

Akukho mklomelo wokubekezela kahle, ukujabulela ukukhulelwa kakhulu noma ukubonakala uzolile kakhulu.

Ukukhulelwa akusona isizathu sokwenza noma sokuqhathanisa nabanye.

Ukwakha Ukulandisa Kwangaphakathi Okusekela Kakhulu

Ukufaka esikhundleni sokuqhathanisa ngentshisekelo kungasiza.

Esikhundleni sokubuza ukuthi kungani uhlukile, buza ukuthi umzimba wakho udinga ini manje.

Esikhundleni sokwahlulela imizwa, yivume.

Ukuzwelana kunciphisa isifiso sokuqhathanisa.

Lapho Ukuqhathanisa Kuba Inkinga

Uma ukuqhathanisa kulawula imicabango yakho, kuthinta isimo sengqondo noma kwandisa ukukhathazeka, ukwesekwa kubalulekile.

Ukukhuluma nochwepheshe wezempilo kungasiza ukulwa nezindlela zokucabanga ezingasizi futhi kubuyisele umbono.

Ukuqinisekiswa Kwabazali Abazobe Bekhulelwe

Uma uziqhathanisa buthule ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, awuwedwa.

Abazali abaningi abakhulelwe bakwenza lokhu.
Abaningi abakhulumi ngakho.
Akusho ukuthi awuthembekile noma uyahluleka.

Ukukhulelwa kuzwakala kungaqiniseki, futhi ukuqhathanisa kuyimpendulo yemvelo yokungaqiniseki.

Akudingekile ukufanisa okuhlangenwe nakho kwanoma ubani omunye.

Ukukhulelwa kwakho kunengqondo ngoba okwakho.

Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo

Kujwayelekile yini ukuziqhathanisa nabanye abantu abakhulelwe?

Yebo. Ukuqhathanisa kuvamile ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, ikakhulukazi uma okuhlangenwe nakho kuzwakala kungajwayelekile noma kungaqiniseki.

Kungani ukuqhathanisa kwenza ukukhulelwa kuzwakale kunzima kakhulu?

Ukuqhathanisa kuvame ukuholela ekuzahluleleni kanye nasezifisweni ezingenasisekelo. Kususa umongo futhi kwandisa umehluko obonwayo.

Ingabe imidiya yokuxhumana yandisa ukuqhathanisa ukukhulelwa?

Yebo. Imidiya yokuxhumana ivame ukubonisa izithombe ezikhethiwe, okungaphazamisa okuzwakala kujwayelekile noma kunengqondo.

Ngingakuyeka kanjani ukuqhathanisa ukukhulelwa kwami nokwabanye?

Ukunciphisa okuqukethwe okudala ukuthukuthela, ukugxila ezidingweni zakho kanye nokuzijwayeza ukuzwelana kungasiza ukunciphisa ukuqhathanisa.

Kufanele ngenze nini ukufuna usizo mayelana nokukhathazeka okuhambisana nokuqhathanisa?

Uma ukuqhathanisa kuthinta kakhulu isimo sakho sengqondo, ukuzethemba noma ukusebenza kwansuku zonke, kuyelulekwa ukukhuluma nochwepheshe wezempilo.

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