Bazali Abathandekayo: Ingane Yakho Ene-Autism Iphelele

Izingane ezine-autism ziziveza ngokweqiniso kungakhathaliseki ukuthi imiphi imiphumela emphakathini. Ngiyazi, ngoba ngine-autistic.

Umzali othandekayo wengane ene-autism,

Nguwe okhethiwe. Yebo, kuwumsebenzi wakho ukuqondisa nokweseka isidalwa somhlaba esinamandla, esinobuhlakani, esithembekile nesinokuziphatha. Siyakuhalalisela.

Ukuba umzali wengane ene-autistic kusho ukuba umzali wezidingo nemizwa yawo wonke umuntu engaziwa. Akuwona umsebenzi omncane. Izingane ezine-autism zihlanganisa ukuzwela nezinkanuko zabangane bakho, umndeni kanye nosebenza nabo - kukhuliswa kuphela. Lapho benyakazisa ulayini wesitolo esikhulu ukuze bakhiphe ukukhungatheka, noma bekhala ngokungalawuleki etafuleni ngenxa yokuthi abawatholi amagama abangaziveza, noma bagxila ekwenzeni abakuthandayo amahora amaningi ekugcineni, banamahloni. ekhombisa lokho abanye abesaba kakhulu.

Labo abaku-spectrum balapha ukuze bathole ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba yiqiniso nokuba neqiniso. Bahlenga le mibono esimeni sayo njenge-buzzwords, abantu abayisebenzisela ukuthethelela ukwabelana ngokweqile nokuziphatha kokufuna ukunaka. Ngokuwela ekuvumelaneni nengane ene-autism, ungawela ekuvumelaneni nawe. Lezi zingane azisoze zakususa kulokho oyikho, noma lokho ofuna ukuba yikho. Bazohlala bekusondeza kukho.

Uma izingane ezine-autism zabelana ngalokho ezikucabangayo, noma ziyancibilika, noma zibalekela isikole, noma zingakwazi ukuyeka ukukhuluma ngalokho ezikukhathazayo, kuyaxaka futhi kuyamangaza. Baziveza ngobuhlaza kangangokuthi izisekelo zomphakathi ziyazamazama. Awusebenzisani nomuntu onomzwelo wakhe womphakathi ukuqamba amanga, ukuvumelana, ukukhohlisa noma ukusabisa. Usebenzelana nomuntu onemizwa engokwemvelo ephambene, futhi ulwazi lwalo muntu lwasemhlabeni luyinselele enkulu ngenxa yalokhu.

Izingane ezine-autism zixhunywe izintambo ukuze ziziveze ngokweqiniso kungakhathaliseki ukuthi imiphi imiphumela yomphakathi. Lokhu kunamandla, futhi noma yini enamandla idinga ukuphathwa ngokucophelela. Ingane yakho idinga isivikelo sakho, ngoba izimpaphe zizonyakaziswa futhi imizwa izolimala. Ama-facade abantu ayinkimbinkimbi kanye namanga alukwe ngokucophelela ngeke aqhubeke ekuhlolisisweni kwengqondo ye-autistic noma imvelo engahlungiwe yemizwa yayo. Lokhu kuyinto enhle, ngisho noma kungenankinga futhi kunzima.

Isifiso sokubhekwa njengabaphumelelayo, ukuhlalisana nabantu nokulawula silimaza umphakathi futhi siyasihlukanisa. Nokho abantu banamathuba amaningi okuthi bathulise umuntu one-autism ukuze amemeze ecela usizo kunokuba alalele. Izikole zizozama ukuphoqa izingane ezine-autism ukuthi zifunde ngendlela efanayo nawo wonke umuntu, kunokuba zazise ukuhluka kwazo kanye nokubaluleka kwalokho ezikufaka ekilasini. Futhi abantu bazoqinisekisa ukuthi labo abaku-spectrum babonwa njengenkinga, ukuze bangami, babonise futhi bazibophezele ngokukhetha kanye nezenzo zabo.

Njengomzali wengane ene-autism ungasiza ukukunqanda lokhu. Ngoba uma uvikela ukwethembeka nokuzwakalisa kwengane yakho, uvikela ukwethembeka nenkululeko yokukhuluma yawo wonke umuntu.

Sonke sifanele ukwamukelwa ngalokho esiyikho futhi sonke sidinga ukwesekwa uma sifuna ukufunda, ukukhula nokubamba iqhaza emphakathini. Nokho, ingane yakho izobhekana nengcindezi enkulu yokushintsha, futhi yehluke. Bazohlangabezana nezimo ezibatshela ngokuqondile nangokungaqondile ukuthi indlela abacabanga ngayo nabazizwa ngayo ayinayo indawo.

Ngiyazi, ngoba ngine-autistic.

Lapho ngiseyingane futhi ngisanda kweva eshumini nambili, engangikufuna kwakuwukuba njengomunye umuntu. Ngenza konke engangingakwenza ukuze nginqande imizwelo yami yemvelo. Ngaqinisekisa ukuthi ukuwohloka kwami kwenzeka lapho ngingedwa ekamelweni lami lokulala ukuze ngingathwali abanye umthwalo ngesisindo semizwa yami engenamagama. Ngathatha lokho abantu ababekusho ngokwaso, kunokuba ngithembele emibonweni yami engokwemvelo. Ngihlaziye kabanzi konke ukuxhumana komphakathi.

Ngabuka ifilimu ethi “Clueless” kanye nohlelo lwe-TV “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” kaningi. Ngangizilolongela ukushukuma komzimba, njengokumomotheka nokubukana emehlweni esibukweni sami segumbi, futhi ngangikwenza esikoleni, emaphathini, etafuleni lesidlo sakusihlwa, ekolishi, ngezinsuku nasezindaweni zokusebenza ezahlukene.

Ngichithe iminyaka engaphezu kweshumi ngikwelashwa ngidlula ekuxilongeni okungaqondile (“udangele,” “ukhathazekile,” “uyahlanya,” “uphethwe ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla,” “udinga usizo ukuphazamiseka kokulungisa isimo,” “ubonakala unomuzwa wokuzibulala”) ngenxa yokuthi ukuziphatha kwami kwakubangelwa inkolelo yokuthi kwakunokuthile okungalungile ngami nokuthi kwakudingeka ngibuyisele lobu bubi ngokuba umuntu engingeyena. Akuzange kungifikele ukuthi ngingahle ngiklanywe ngendlela ehlukile kwabanye nokuthi ukulwa nalokhu kwakuyimpi engingehluleki.

Ingane yakho iphelele. Yiba nokungabaza ngalokho odokotela, othisha, amalungu omndeni noma abangani abakushoyo ngokuphambene nalokho. Ngisho nencazelo enhle kakhulu yabantu ingaba nolwazi olungalungile futhi idukiswe uma kuziwa ekuqondeni izingane kanye nabantu abadala ku-spectrum.

Akusizi ukuthi izincazelo ze-autism zingokomtholampilo futhi zilulaza ubuntu. Lapho izikhungo zezokwelapha nezesayensi zibambe iqhaza ekulandiseni kohlobo oluthile lwabantu, zibaqeda amandla kanye nawo wonke umuntu obazungezile. Ngiqonde ukuthi akekho ofuna ukuthi ingane yakhe ibonakale iphazamisekile. Akekho ofuna ukuthi babukelwe phansi ngabanye nokuthi ubunjalo babo buhambisane nokuba yisidlakela.

Ngakho-ke ngingathanda ukwengeza ukucwazimula endabeni eyonakele. Asikho ngempela isidingo sokwelapha izingane ezine-autism, noma ukuxolisa egameni labo, noma ukuzishintsha. Okufanele ukwenze ukubalalela ngenhliziyo yakho. Khona-ke, udinga ukwamukela izindlela zabo ze-autistic. Ngoba njalo lapho babelana ngezidingo zabo, futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho wenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuze uhloniphe lezo zidingo, uhlonipha izidingo ezijulile zomphakathi.

Ingane yakho ingase ibe ngamazwi, angakhulumi, abe nolaka, angenzi lutho, akhulume yedwa noma akhulume kabi. Akunandaba. Uma befuna kuphela ukugqoka ilineni ngoba kuzwakala benethezekile esikhumbeni sabo, basuke bekukhombisa ukuthi ungakuveza kanjani ukuzwela kwakho kanye nezinto ozincamelayo. Uma bechitha intambama yonke becwaninga ukuthi bangahlehlisa kanjani insimbi kanjiniyela waseDamaseku, uyamenywa ukuthi uhlole ukuthi yini ekunika injabulo, nawe. Futhi lapho bethembekile kuwe ngalokho abakucabangayo nabazizwayo, unikezwa ithuba lokwethembeka kubo, kuwe siqu nakwabanye.

Ngaphezu kwakho konke, lapho bethi 'cha', futhi ulalele, inamandla okukukhulula, futhi wonke umuntu oseduze nawe, akhululeke.

Joyina Iphepha Lethu Lezidingo Ezikhethekile