Ungayithola Kanjani Inhloso Yakho Njengomndeni Onezidingo Ezikhethekile

Ukwakha ubuwena nomuzwa wencazelo kubalulekile uma ingane yakho inomehluko ekukhuleni.

Ukuba umzali kuyinselele ngaphansi kwezimo ezingcono kakhulu. Futhi uma ukhulisa umndeni okhethekile—lapho ingane yakho inezidingo ezikhethekile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ezezokwelapha, ezengqondo, ezemizwa, zokuziphatha, zezinzwa, noma ezingokomzimba—ukucindezeleka okuvamile kokuba umzali kuhlanganiswe nokuhlasela kokucindezeleka okwengeziwe, ukungabaza, kanye nokucindezeleka. imibuzo.

Ukuba umzali kuyinselele ngaphansi kwezimo ezingcono kakhulu. Futhi uma ukhulisa umndeni okhethekile—lapho ingane yakho inezidingo ezikhethekile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ezezokwelapha, ezengqondo, ezemizwa, zokuziphatha, zezinzwa, noma ezingokomzimba—ukucindezeleka okuvamile kokuba umzali kuhlanganiswe nokuhlasela kokucindezeleka okwengeziwe, ukungabaza, kanye nokucindezeleka. imibuzo.

Ngingakwazi yini ukufunda okwanele ngezidingo zengane yami ukuze ngisekele ukukhula kwayo? Ngingazigcina kanjani ngiqhubeka kuyilapho ngisiza ingane yami ifinyelele amakhono ayo? Ingabe ukunakekela izidingo ezikhethekile zengane yami kuzolimaza ubuhlobo bami nomlingani wami noma amanye amalungu omndeni? Yini eyodingeka ukuze ngiqiniseke ukuthi wonke umndeni wami uthola lokho abakudingayo?

Abazali bangase bakhale ngokulahlekelwa ingane esanda kukhula ababekade beyifisa. Izelamani zingase zibe nzima ukuqonda ukuthi kungani udadewabo noma umfowabo ethola ukunakwa okungaka, kanye nokuthi kungani benza ngendlela ehlukile. Abazali bangase bazizwe benamahloni, benomuzwa wokuthi amanye amalungu omkhaya ayahlulela ingane yawo noma ayahlulela ngendlela engaba abazali ngayo. Futhi kukhona ukugqolozela abantu abangabazi lapho izingane ziziphatha “njengokulindelekile” ezindaweni zomphakathi.

Ngenhlanhla, lezi zinto ezicindezelayo azibangeli imiphumela emibi enganeni noma emndenini. Enye indlela imindeni engavamile ukwakha ukukhuthazela —ikhono lokubuyela emuva ebunzimeni bansuku zonke noma obunzima—ukuchaza kabusha ngobuciko umuzwa wobunikazi bomndeni ohlanganisa ingane enezidingo ezikhethekile. Nazi ezinye izindlela eziqondile zokuthuthukisa ubunikazi bomndeni obubandakanyayo, incazelo, nenjongo yokuthuthukisa ikhono lomndeni wakho lokusingatha ingcindezi nezithiyo.

1. Yakha ubunikazi bomndeni obuhle mayelana (dis) nekhono

Ningobani njengomndeni? Yiziphi izici ezikhethekile umndeni wakho ozinikezayo emhlabeni?

Ukwenza incazelo yokuphazamiseka noma ukukhubazeka a umsebenzi obalulekile yemindeni ebhekene nokuqaphela ukuthi ingane ngeke iphile kahle noma ikhule ngokujwayelekile. Nokho, imindeni ayikwazi ukuzichaza ngokukhubazeka, “ngokungakwazi” ukuphila. Phela wonke umuntu unamakhono ahlukene. Ukugxila emandleni engane ekhubazekile kuyisici esibalulekile sokukhuthazela.

Lapho imindeni ehlukile yenza incazelo yokukhubazeka namandla futhi ihlanganise lokhu kubunikazi bomndeni obuhle, iyakwazi ukusebenzisa izinsiza zomndeni-ezezimali, imizwa, kanye nokusebenzayo-ukulawula izingcindezi zabo. Ubunikazi bomndeni obuhle bungavikela ekucindezelekeni kunoma yimuphi umndeni, kodwa emndenini ohlukile, kubaluleke kakhulu.

Ezinye izibonelo zokuthi lobu bunikazi bungase buhlanganise nani yilezi:

• Njengomkhaya, siyabakhulumela labo abanobunzima bokuveza imizwa yabo.
• Siwumndeni ohlanganisa abantu bawo wonke amakhono emisebenzini yethu.
• Kulo mndeni, sibona (ukukhubazeka) ikhono njengengxenye ekhethekile yomndeni wethu okusisiza ukuthi sehlise ijubane futhi sizwe ukubonga ngezikhathi ezilula.
• Sichitha isikhathi esidlweni nsuku zonke, noma kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka, sisho lokho esikubongayo ngalolo suku noma ezimpilweni zethu ngokujwayelekile.

Imindeni eminingi ekugcineni ithola ithuba, ithemba, uzwelo, kanye nokubonga emndenini wayo. Bakha umbono womndeni ohlangene ohlanganisa ukukhubazeka kodwa ongachazwanga kuphela ingane enezidingo ezikhethekile. Ilungu ngalinye lomndeni laziswa ngeqhaza eliyingqayizivele kubunikazi bomndeni obuhlangene, kunokugxila ngokweqile enganeni enezidingo ezikhethekile noma abanakekeli bayo.

Kunjalo, le nqubo yokwakha ukuhlonza okuhle komndeni mayelana (dis) nekhono ayisheshi. A 2007 isifundo abazali bezingane ezine-autism bathola ukuthi imindeni eminingi yazijwayelanisa nezidingo ze-autism futhi yenza incazelo entsha yokuphazamiseka kwezingane zabo; nokho leyo nqubo yathatha cishe iminyaka emibili emindenini eminingi, futhi yathatha isikhathi eside nakweminye.

Ngisho noma imindeni iqala ukwenza incazelo ngokuba umndeni oyingqayizivele, wonke umuntu emndenini uyakhula, ubudlelwano buyashintsha, futhi izidingo ezikhethekile ziyathuthuka. Ubunikazi bomndeni kufanele buzivumelanise ngokuqhubekayo ukuze bubhekane nezinselele zesigaba ngasinye sokuphila komndeni.

2. Xhumana nenjongo enhle yomndeni wakho

Imuphi umthelela owakhayo umkhaya wakho ongaba nawo emhlabeni?

Incazelo noma ubuwena bubodwa abudali umndeni oqinile. Nakuba benikeza umbono omusha nokuqonda, abaholeli emigomweni nasezenzweni noma banikeze ukuxhumana nabanye abangaphandle komndeni.

Isinyathelo esilandelayo ukuthuthukisa inhloso enhle: umgomo ophusile wokwenza umnikelo owakhayo emhlabeni. Inhloso inganikeza isiqondiso, ugqozi lokunikeza abanye, kanye nomfutho wokuthuthukisa ukuxhumana komphakathi ngale komndeni. Abantu abasha kanye nabantu abadala abanenjongo bavame ukuba nokukhulu impilo futhi inhlalakahle .

Emndenini ohlukile, inhloso enhle yomndeni ingabukeka kanje:

• Abazali abashintshayo ukusuka emisebenzini yokubambela baye emisebenzini enezidingo ezikhethekile.
• Umndeni obamba iqhaza emisebenzini ehleliwe yokuqwashisa mayelana nokuxilongwa okuthile okuthinta umndeni.
• Umndeni oxoxisana nomphakathi ukuze uhlanganise ingane enezidingo ezikhethekile zibe izilungiselelo ezingase zibe inselele noma zibe nemingcele ezinganeni ezinezidingo ezikhethekile.
• Abazali bakha iqembu lokusekela imindeni enezingane ezinezinselele ezifanayo.

Ukuzibophezela enjongweni enhle yomndeni kungenye yezindlela ezibaluleke kakhulu zokugwema ukuchazwa nokudumala ngenxa yokukhubazeka kwengane, futhi izinzuzo zingahlala isikhathi eside.

3. Sebenzisa amandla amasiko ukuze uqinise ubuwena kanye nenjongo

Yiziphi izinkolelo, izindinganiso, noma amasiko asekela ubunikazi bomndeni wakho omuhle nenjongo?

Abazali badlulisela izici zesiko, okuhlanganisa imikhuba yenkolo, izindinganiso nezinkolelo, namasiko omndeni namasiko. Ezamasiko izinkolelo nezinqubo zinganikeza incazelo nobuwena obuhle, ikakhulukazi ngezikhathi zobunzima nengcindezi. Amanani namasiko aphathelene nobudlelwano bomndeni angasiza amalungu omndeni azizwe esekelwe futhi exhumekile, okubalulekile ekuqiniseni amandla.

Ngokuqondile, amandla amasiko angakwazi ukusekela ukuqina futhi kuqinise ubuwena kanye nenjongo. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise:

• Ukusungula amasiko noma amasiko enkolo ekhaya lakho, okuhlanganisa ukudla kohlanga, umsebenzi wobuciko, imikhosi yezenkolo, nokusho umusa noma ukubonga ngaphambi noma ngemva kokudla.
• Ukubamba iqhaza emaqenjini omphakathi—kungaba ezenkolo noma ezakhelwe ezithakazelweni ezifanayo—ahlanganisayo futhi amukela wonke amalungu omndeni.
• Ukuba yingxenye yomphakathi—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kusekelwe esizindeni sohlanga, imvelaphi yobuzwe, noma ukukhetha ubulili (ukubala izibonelo ezimbalwa)—okungasebenza njengomthombo wokusekelwa komphakathi.
• Ukulinganisa isidingo selungu ngalinye lomndeni sokuzibusa kanye nokuncika kwelinye ilungu lomndeni, ukuze ilungu ngalinye lomndeni lizizwe liyingxenye yobunikazi bomndeni. Eminye imindeni izogcizelela kakhulu ukuzimela kanti eminye igcizelela kakhulu ukuncika komunye nomunye, ngakho ukuthola ibhalansi efanele izindinganiso zomndeni wakho futhi okuhlanganisa wonke amalungu kuyisihluthulelo.

Ngokwesibonelo, umkhaya ungase ukholelwe ukuthi uNkulunkulu uyowunikeza kuphela izinselele ongakwazi ukuzisingatha. Le nkolelo ingase isekele umkhaya ekubhekeni ukukhubazeka kwengane yawo njengendlela kaNkulunkulu yokufundisa amalungu omkhaya kanye nebandla elibanzi uthando, ukwamukela, nozwela.

Njengesinye isibonelo, inhlonipho ngemvelo ibalulekile emiphakathini eminingi yaboMdabu baseMelika. Imindeni ebheka le nkolelo njengamandla amasiko futhi ihlanganise lezi zindinganiso kubunikazi bayo bomndeni cishe izozizwa ixhumene nomphakathi obanzi owabelana ngalezi zindinganiso. Ukubandakanya wonke amalungu omndeni kumasiko akhuluma ngenhlonipho ngemvelo, njengokuxoxa izindaba noma ukudala ubuciko, kungaba indlela yokuqinisa ubunikazi bomndeni obuhle kanye nenjongo.

Okuqukethwe kwenkolelo akubalulekile kunokusekelwa kwenhloso enhle kanye nobunikazi bomndeni obungahlinzekwa yinkolelo yezenkolo noma yamasiko.

4. Lawula imizwa ngokuhlanganyela ukuze ubhekane nokuhlala uxhumene nenhloso eyakhayo yomndeni

Uyilawula kanjani imizwa yakho ukuze ubhekane nezingcindezi?

Izingcindezi imindeni ehlukile ebhekana nazo azihlali njalo. Ukucindezeleka kuyashintsha ngezigaba ezahlukene ukukhubazeka kwengane kanye nomjikelezo wokuphila komkhaya. Njengoba ukucindezeleka nobunzima kuncipha futhi kugeleza, abazali kufanele balawule ukucindezeleka nemizwelo yabo—okuzovumela izingane zabo ukuba zilawule ngokuphumelelayo, nazo. Ucwaningo lisikisela ukuthi lapho omama benekhono elikhudlwana lokubhekana nesimo, izingane zabo ziba nezinkinga ezimbalwa zokuziphatha. Ukuthuthukisa ikhono labazali bokutholwa ukuze baphendule ekucindezelekeni kwezingane zabo, ukusiza ukulawula imizwelo yezingane, kungase kuvimbele ngisho nokubhekana nokucindezeleka. imiphumela yezinto eziphilayo yokucindezeleka ezinganeni ezihlukumezekile.

Abazali bangakwazi ukuzicabangela njengabaqeqeshi bemizwelo ababonisa ukuziphatha okufanele kokubhekana nakho futhi baqeqeshe izingane zabo ukuba zisebenzise amasu afanayo lapho zicindezelekile. Abazali bangamodela ukulawulwa kwemizwelo enempilo ngokwenza lokhu:

• Ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela. Abazali bangakwazi ukulingisa ukunakekela impilo engokomzimba nengokwengqondo ngokulala kahle, ukudla kahle, nokuhlanganyela emisebenzini ejabulisayo nenempilo.
• Ukulebula nokuchaza imizwa. Abazali abasho eyabo imizwa nemizwa kwabanye bangasiza izingane ziqonde indlela yokubona imizwa. Ukwazi ukusebenzisa amagama ukuchaza isipiliyoni sangaphakathi kuyikhono elibalulekile lokulawula imizwa.
• Ukusetha indawo yokuthula noma indawo. Kusiza wonke umuntu ukuthi abe nendawo angaya kuyo ekhaya lapho ecasukile noma edinga nje ukuthula, lapho azi khona ukuthi ngeke akhathazeke, okungenani imizuzu embalwa eyigugu.
• Ukukhombisa amasu okubhekana nempilo. Abazali akudingeki besabe ukuba nemizwa noma ukubonisa izingane zabo ukuthi zinemizwa. Ngaphakathi kwemingcele efanele, kuyasiza ukuba abazali bazise izingane ukuthi zibhekana kanjani nokucindezeleka besebenzisa amasu anempilo, njengokuphazamisa, ukuzikhulumela okulungile, ukuqaphela kanye nokubekela inselele imicabango engasizi, izindlela zokuphumula, nokukhuluma nabangane noma umndeni osekelayo. Qiniseka ukuthi usho ukuthi unalo isu futhi ulisebenzisa ngokusobala, ngaleyo ndlela ubonisa le ndlela ewusizo kakhulu ezinganeni zakho.

Ndawonye, ​​lamasu angasiza ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano bomndeni, inhlalakahle, kanye nogqozi lokuhlanganyela emisebenzini eyakhayo.

Encwadini yakhe Ukuqinisa Ukuqina Komndeni , u-Frome Walsh uchaza ukuthi ukuqina kumayelana nokuzabalaza kahle. Ukuqina akusho ukugwema umzabalazo. Nakuba izincazelo eziningi zokuqina zikhuluma ngokuqina Ngaphezu kwe ebunzimeni, u-Walsh uphakamisa ukuthi kuwusizo kakhulu ukucabanga ngokuba namandla ndawonye, ​​njengomndeni, ngenxa ye ubunzima. Izinselele esibhekana nazo njengemindeni zingaba imithombo yokukhula, amandla, ubuwena, kanye nenjongo, inqobo nje uma sikhetha ukuzisebenzisa ngale ndlela.

Umthombo: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_your_purpose_as_a_special_needs_family