Kungaba Nzima Ngempela
“Ingane yami idonsa kanzima futhi ngikhathele.”
"Umlingani wami unqanyuliwe emndenini."
“Ngizwa sengathi angenzi okwanele, kodwa angazi ukuthi yini enye okufanele ngiyizame.”
Ukuba umzali wengane enezidingo ezikhethekile kuyinselele. Eqinisweni, kungaletha izingcindezi ezingalindelekile nabashade nabo, izingane zakini ngisho nangaphakathi kwenkolelo yakho emakhonweni akho okuba umzali.
Uzama ngakho konke okusemandleni akho ukuba nomusa, ubekezele nothando kodwa kunezinsuku lapho usuke ukhathele umshikashika uze ufune ukuwuyeka. Ngiyazi, bengikhona, ngiyakuzwa!
Ukukhulisa ingane enezidingo ezikhethekile kunezinsuku ezihlanganisa...
- Ukucasuka ukuthi zonke izinsuku zigcwele izinselele.
- Ukungaqiniseki kokuthi yini elungele ingane yakho.
- Ukukhungatheka ngolwazi olungahambisani nochwepheshe.
- Ukudabuka ngamaphupho angafezeki (kanye nomuzwa wecala ngokuzwa ukudabuka ngakho).
- Ukucasulwa iseluleko "esiwusizo" esivela kulabo abangenalwazi mayelana nokucindezeleka kwakho kwansuku zonke.
- Umona kubazali abanemindeni "ejwayelekile".
- INEcala ngokuzwa noma yikuphi noma konke okungenhla!
Awuwedwa kulokhu!
Kukhona nabanye abaningi abalwela ukukwenza usuku olulodwa, ihora elilodwa ngesikhathi.
Pho abazali bangenzani?
Thola isistimu yokusekela
Uma uthola abanye abahamba ngale ndlela uthola amasu okubhekana nesimo, izinsiza ezintsha, nokusekelwa kwabanye abazali “abakutholayo.” Uzothola nokuthi akuwena wedwa umzali ozizwa enecala ngezinselele ezengeziwe zengane yakhe noma ekhungathekile ngoba impilo inzima ngezinye izikhathi.
Ukwazi nje ukuthi akuwena wedwa kwenza izinto zibe lula ngokomzwelo.
Cela usizo
Ukucela usizo kuwuphawu lwamandla, hhayi ubuthakathaka. Ngazabalaza iminyaka eminingi ngizama ukuthola ukuthi kungani ngingafinyeleli kumntwana wami onamandla, okhathazeke kakhulu.
Kwaze kwaba yilapho ngithulula izinselele zami futhi ngacela usizo lapho ngathola khona 1) Ngangingeyena “umzali ongalungile” – ngangidinga ulwazi olwengeziwe kanye namasu ongeziwe futhi 2) lukhona usizo lapho!
Khuluma nowakho...
- udokotela wezingane mayelana nokudluliselwa kochwepheshe.
- uthisha wengane ukuze uthole iziphakamiso ezengeziwe zokusiza ingane yakho ezifundweni.
- abefundisi, ungqongqoshe, umeluleki, noma abanye abazali abanezidingo ezikhethekile ukuze bathole ukwesekwa.
- umngane womshado noma umzali obambisene naye ukuze bacabange ngezixazululo zomndeni.
- abangani nomndeni ukuze uthole "isikhathi sikamama" esingaba khona ukuze ukwazi ukushajwa kabusha ibhethri lakho.
Zinakekele
Yilapho abazali abadonsa kanzima khona! Kodwa anginaso isikhathi sami! Uma ufuna ukuba umzali ongcono kakhulu ongaba umzali wakho, udinga ukuzinika isikhathi sokuphumula nokushajwa kabusha ibhethri lakho.
Cabanga ngamandla akho njengembiza yamanzi,: uma njalo uthulula amandla akho (amanzi) kodwa ungalokothi ugcwalise imbiza, awunalutho ongalunikeza ekupheleni kosuku.
Nawa amaqhinga ambalwa mina nabangani bami ebesiwasebenzisa kuyo yonke le minyaka:
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Zinike imvume yokwenza kanjalo thatha imizuzu emi-5-10 usuku nosuku ngokwakho . (Ngiyazi, kunzima, kepha izingane zakho zidinga ukuthi wenze lokhu)
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Yenza okuthile okukuphumuzayo (inkomishi yekhofi, funda amakhasi ambalwa encwadini ekhuthazayo noma ehlekisayo, noma vele uhlale ungenzi lutho).
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Sebenzisa uhlelo lomngane ... faka izingane ezinqoleni zazo noma ezihlalweni zabakhubazekile, hlangana nomngane futhi nihambe nihambe. Izingane zizozuza ekushintsheni kwendawo, uzozizwa unamandla, futhi
ukwesekwa okwengeziwe umngane njalo wamukelekile. -
Shintshanisa ukunakekelwa kwezingane …lokhu kungaba ukwenza imisebenzi embalwa noma ngisho nokuphuma ntambama. Izingane zakho nazo ziyazuza ekuzihlanganiseni nezinye izingane.
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Zivocavoce …ngisho noma kuyimizuzu eyi-10 kuphela ye-cardio noma ukunwebeka. Mina nendodakazi yami sasenza amaphathi okudansa “umama nami” kumaculo akhe ayintandokazi ekhishini; kwakukuhle kithi sobabili!
Nakekela ubuhlobo
Kulabo kini abangabazali abakanye nawe, qiniseka ukuthi uyakunakekela ubambiswano lwakho. Abazali abakhathele bavame ukukhohlwa ukusebenzela ubuhlobo babo, bacasuke futhi bahluleke ukuxhumana kahle.
Izindlela zokuthuthukisa ubambiswano lwakho zihlanganisa:
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ukuzimisela ukukhuluma ngomusa ngesidingo sakho sosizo. Lokhu kusiza ukuvimbela ukwakheka kokucasuka phakathi kozakwethu, okungukuthi, “Awu, kufanele azi ukuthi ngikhathele ukubhekana nokuqokwa kukadokotela!” Khumbula, omunye umuntu akakwazi ukufunda izingqondo!
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nikeza umnakekeli oyinhloko ikhefu.
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zinike isikhathi sokuba ndawonye (ngisho noma kuyimizuzu engu-15 nje) ngaphandle kokuba izingane zikhulume ngezinye izinto ngaphandle kwezingane.
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abe yisilaleli esinozwelo, esisekelanayo komunye nomunye.
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wazise amandla omlingani wakho.
Kuze kube sephuzwini lokugcina… uma owakwakho ekwazi kahle ukusingatha izinkinga zomsebenzi wesikole wesikole wengane yakho, hlehla umvumele ukuthi asize. Uma omunye wenu enesineke ekuseni futhi omunye enesineke kakhulu ebusuku, sebenzisa lolo lwazi ukuhlela imisebenzi yasekhaya nesikhathi sokunakekela izingane.
Umyeni wami wayebheke ngabomvu isikhathi sokudlala nezingane ngemva kwesidlo sakusihlwa, okwanginika ukuthula nokuthula ukuze ngihlanze ikhishi futhi ngipakishe ukudla kwasemini ngakusasa.
Qaphela ukukhulisa ubudlelwano bezelamani
Kulula kakhulu ngamandla akho amaningi nomzamo ukuya enganeni enezidingo ezikhethekile, ikakhulukazi ngokuqokwa okwengeziwe kodokotela, ochwepheshe bokwesekwa kanye nezindaba zemfundo ezingaba yingxenye yokwelapha kwengane yakho. Izelamani zengane enezidingo ezikhethekile zingase zizwe “zilulazekile” ngezinye izikhathi. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, qiniseka ukuthi awuyena umzali omubi, ungumuntu nje bese uzama amanye amathiphu angezansi!
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Qiniseka ukuthi ingane ngayinye ithola ukunakwa okungahlukanisiwe.
Ngisho nezinto ezilula njengokufunda ngaphambi kokulala noma izinkulumo ngenkathi ushayela ukuya ekubaleni kwesikole! Ikhwalithi, hhayi inani elizokwenza umehluko. -
Zibandakanye emisebenzini yengane yakho.
Babuze ngephrojekthi yesikole, ivolontiya ukwenza ukudla okulula kwebhola (ukusika amawolintshi kuyashesha futhi kulula), buza imibuzo ngefilimu abayibone nomngane. Ukunaka kwakho imininingwane ngosuku lwabo kuzobaluleka. -
Faka izingane zakho ekunakekelweni kwezingane zakubo, ngokufanelekile.
Kuyoba khona izinsuku lapho beyofuna ukusiza, abanye lapho bengafuni futhi lokho kulungile. Ukunakekela amalungu omkhaya kugxilisa ububele ngisho nasezinganeni ezincane. -
Nikeza izingane zakho ulwazi ngendlela ezifuna ngayo.
Ezinye izingane zamukela izingane zakubo “njengoba zinjalo” kanti ezinye zifuna ukwazi ukuthi “kungani isebenzisa insiza-kuzwa.” Njengakunoma yini, izingane zifuna ukwazi futhi amaqiniso engeziwe ziba ngcono. -
Nika umndeni wakho amandla ngokwamukela lokho “okujwayelekile” kwakho.
Wonke umndeni wenza izinto ngendlela ehlukile, neyakho ifakiwe. Ingane ehamba ngesihlalo esinamasondo kuseyingane yakho, inendlela ehlukile yokuhamba, okuyinto evamile emndenini wakho.Lesi sifundo sifundisa ezinye izingane ukwamukela, ububele nokuhlonipha abanye abangenza izinto ngendlela ehlukile.
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Inkinga njengeqembu!
Kunezikhathi lapho kuphakama izinselelo, nikeza izingane zakho amandla ngokuzicebisa ngezixazululo nawe. Kuyamangaza ukuthi izingane ezifika nazo, imvamisa izinto ebesingazange sizicabangele. -
Zonke izingane kufanele “zikuzwe” uzishaya isifuba ngezinto ezizifezile.
Kulula kakhulu ukuzinza emjikelezweni wokuzabalaza, kodwa ukugxila ngisho nasezimpumelelweni ezincane kakhulu noma izenzo zomusa kusiza umndeni ukwakhana. -
Mema eminye imindeni ukuthi izodlala, ungazihlukanisi nabanye.
Enye yamabhulogi engiwathandayo okukhulisa izingane ithi “Wenzani Othandekayo?” ebhalwe umama wezingane ezimbili ezithandekayo, uFrannie noSimeon. Indodana yakhe iyingane enhle kunabo bonke, futhi ine-spina bifida.UMary Evelyn wabelana ngohambo lwakhe, uthola amahlaya futhi wamukele okuvamile komndeni wabo ngendlela ekwenza ufune ukungagcini nje ukwamukela kodwa nokugubha “okuvamile” komndeni wakho.
Ngakho-ke khumbula, awuwedwa, kunosizo lapho futhi uzoba umzali ongcono kakhulu ingane yakho engayicela!
Ngu-Amy Ambrozich, Uthisha Wabazali NoSomlomo
