Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Ingane Yakho Ekhubazekile Ixhashazwa - Gxila Emndenini

Nakuba izingane eziningi zibhekana nokuxhashazwa ngesinye isikhathi, ngafunda kusukela ngisemncane ukuthi ngangizoqondiswa kakhulu kunezingane eziningi ngenxa yokukhubazeka kwami.

Nginokukhubazeka kwengqondo (CP). Ukukhubazeka kwami ​​akuthinti indlela ingqondo yami esebenza ngayo kodwa kwenza kube nzima ukuhamba futhi ngingakwazi ukulinganisa futhi ngiwe kalula. Ukungezwani kwami ​​ngokomzimba kwangihlukanisa. Nakuba nganginabangane ababengikhathalela, ngangivame ukuzwa amazwi alimazayo kunamazwi anomusa.

Ngokudabukisayo, okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​kwabelwa izingane eziningi. Akuzona nje izingane ezinokukhubazeka ngokomzimba ezihlushwa iziqhwaga. Noma yini ephawula ingane njengehlukile nganoma iyiphi indlela ingase ibangele ukuba iqokwe njengobuxhwanguxhwangu, okuhlanganisa ukukhubazeka kokufunda, izinkinga zengqondo ezifana ne-autism spectrum disorder (ASD), nokukhathazeka okukhethekile kwezempilo njengesithuthwane, isifo sikashukela, ngisho nokungezwani nokudla okuthile.

Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi cishe amaphesenti angu-13 ezingane esikoleni sikahulumeni zithola izinsiza zemfundo ekhethekile ngenxa yokukhubazeka okuthinta ukusebenza kwazo ezifundweni. Uma ucabangela zonke ezinye izingane ezinezidingo ezikhethekile ezingase zithinteke ngezindlela ezingadingi lezi zinhlobo zezinsizakalo zemfundo, kuba sobala ukuthi isibalo sezingane ezikhubazekile sikhulu kakhulu. (Ngaphandle kwalokho, izingane eziningi ezinezinkinga zempilo ezikhethekile noma ukukhubazeka okuthile ekufundeni zingase zingazicabangeli “ zikhubazekile ” noma “ njengezidingo ezikhethekile .” Kulesi sihloko, ngihlanganisa lezi zingane ngaphansi kwamagama athi abakhubazekile nezidingo ezikhethekile ngokufanayo, ngenxa nje yokuthi ukwanda kwamathuba okuthi bazobhekana nokuxhashazwa.)

Ihlukaniswe Ngenxa Yomehluko

Okunye ukungezwani kungenza ingane igqame ngendlela enhle. Ukuba umdlali ohamba phambili eqenjini le-basketball noma intombazane enhle kakhulu ekilasini izinhlobo zomehluko ngokuvamile eziletha ukunconywa kwezinye izingane. Kodwa izinto ezihlukile kokujwayelekile, ngisho nezinto ezingathathi hlangothi noma ezinhle, zingamaka ingane ukuze ibhekwe kabi. Isibonelo, ukuba nezinwele ezibomvu kungamisa ingane ukuba ihlukunyezwe. Kwezinye izilungiselelo ukuthola amamaki amahle kungamaka ingane ukuthi ingamukelwa (“Hey, hlola isazi sezibalo!”).

Ukukhubazeka cishe njalo kwenza ingane ikhethe ukugconwa noma ubuxhwanguxhwangu.

Kungani Kunobuqhwaga?

Impendulo elula ezimweni eziningi ukuthi izingane zifuna ukuba yingxenye "yeqembu." Uma bengathola umuntu abaqondiwe onobuthakathaka noma ohluke ngokusobala, ukuziphatha kobuxhwanguxhwangu kungadluliselwa kulowo muntu. Futhi ubani obonakala ebuthakathaka noma ngokusobala ehluke kakhulu kunengane esesihlalweni sabakhubazekile, ingane exhugayo, noma othile onokubambezeleka okukhulu kokukhula?

Lokhu kuchaza indida eneshwa yokuthi izingane ezinokukhubazeka ekufundeni azixhashazwa kaningi kunezingane ezivamile kodwa maningi amathuba okuba zibe iziqhwaga ngokwazo. Ngezinye izikhathi, futhi, izingane ezikhethwa njalo zingase zikhethe ukuba ohlangothini "lokupha" lwe-equation yokuhlukumeza ukuze kushintshwe.

Esinye isizathu sokuthi izingane ezinezidingo ezikhethekile ziqondiswe ukuthi eziningi, ngenxa yokukhubazeka kwazo okuthile, zihlushwa amakhono omphakathi anciphayo. Izimo ezifana ne-ASD ngokwemvelo yazo ziholela ebunzimeni obuhlobene nezinye izingane. Ezinye izingane ezikhubazekile zingase zibe nezinkinga zomphakathi ngenxa nje yokuthi izidingo zazo zenza ezinye izingane zizenqabe futhi zizihlukanise, zilethe isizungu kanye nokuncipha kwamakhono okuxhumana nabantu, okuphumela ekuzihlukaniseni okwengeziwe nokuxhashazwa. Ngezinye izikhathi ukwenqatshwa kontanga nemizwa yokungabi nabungane lezi zingane ezibhekana nayo kubuhlungu futhi kucindezele kakhulu kunokukhubazeka kwazo.

Lapho Izingane Zingazami Ukuba Nenhliziyo Ephansi ... Kodwa Izingane Ziyalimala Noma Kunjalo

Ngisho nalapho ezinye izingane zingazami ngamabomu ukungabi namusa, ingane ekhubazekile ingazizwa ilahliwe futhi ihlukaniswe. Uhlobo lwami lwe-CP lungenza ngixhuge futhi ngihambe kancane kunabanye. Ezinye izingane zazingazi ukuthi zisabele kanjani kimi, ngakho zazivele zinganginaki uma kuziwa ezintweni ezingase zimeme abanye abangane kuzo.

Ngikhumbula intombazane ithi ibizongicela emdansweni wesikole kodwa ayizange ivume ngoba ingafuni ngiphatheke kabi ngokungakwazi ukudansa. Ezinye izingane zazizongimemela enxanxatheleni yezitolo noma ebhayisikobho kodwa azizange zingimeme ngoba ngangingakwazi ukuhamba kalula.

Izingane zingase zingabakhiphi abanye lezi zindlela ngenxa yonya, kodwa zisadala ukuzehlukanisa nesizungu. Kungezikhathi ezinjengalezi lapho ingane izizwa sengathi isesiqhingini iyodwa.

Akuzona Kuphela Izingane Ezinokukhubazeka Okusobala

Izingane eziningi ezihlukunyezwayo zinezidingo ezikhethekile noma izinkinga zempilo ezingase zingabonakali kumuntu obukele nje. Izingane ezingezwani nokudla, isibonelo, zingahlekwa noma zesatshiswe ngokudla ezingezwani nakho. Lokhu akuwona nje ukudlala okungenangozi - kungabulala.

Ubani uBully?

Akulula ukukhetha uhlobo olulodwa lwengane bese uthi “Yile ndlela isiqhwaga esibukeka ngayo.” Eqinisweni, ezinye izingane ezihileleka ekuziphatheni okuqinela abanye zingakumangaza, futhi mhlawumbe nazo ngokwazo.

Iziqhwaga zifuna ukususa ukunaka okungalungile kubo futhi kubhekise kwabanye. Bazizwa benesidingo sokuzenza bazizwe bengcono noma bebalulekile ngokubukela phansi abanye. Njengoba ngike ngasho ngenhla, kwesinye isikhathi isiqhwaga kuba ngumuntu ongase abe yiziqhwaga yena, njengomuntu onokukhubazeka ekufundeni.

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi ezinye izingane ezingasoze zaphupha zihlukumeza ingane esebenzisa isihlalo sabakhubazekile noma ezinokukhubazeka okuthile ngokomzimba zingase zizizwe zikhululekile ukuphikisa enye ingane enokukhubazeka ekufundeni, inkinga engokomzwelo, noma olunye uhlobo lwesidingo esikhethekile esingabonakali. Futhi, kuvame ukubuya ekugwemeni ukunaka kobuxhwanguxhwangu noma ukuzenza uzizwe umkhulu ngezindleko zomunye.

Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuziphatha okulimazayo akuveli ezinganeni kodwa kothisha, abaqeqeshi, noma abanye abantu abadala. Lapho ngisesikoleni samabanga aphansi ikilasi lami lejimu lalinothisha obambele ngolunye usuku. Wanquma ukwenza ikilasi lenze ojeke. Nge-CP yami ngangibukeka ngididekile futhi ngingakhululekile. Uthisha wanquma ukwenza isibonelo ngami phambi kwekilasi lonke. “Woza ngane,” kusho yena. “Ufunda ibanga lesi-4. Ingabe lokho kungcono kakhulu ongakwenza?” Eqinisweni, kwakungcono kakhulu engangingakwenza. Ngaya ekhaya ngikhala ngalelo langa.

Nakuba lesi kungesona isibonelo sakudala sobuxhwanguxhwangu (uthisha ubengazi nokuthi ngikhubazekile akabange esaqhubeka nalapho egcine etholile) namanje kungizwise ubuhlungu obukhulu. Kwakungase kunikeze ngisho izingane ekilasini lami isibani esiluhlaza ukuze ziqale ezazo ukuklolodela. Ngokudabukisayo, abanye abantu abadala bahileleka ekuhlukumezeni okuphikelelayo nasekuziphatheni okweyisa izingane.

Ubuqhwaga, Ukucindezeleka, Nokuzibulala

Ngezinye izikhathi ekuphileni kunzima nje. Isikole esiphakathi, ngokwesibonelo, isikhathi sokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo cishe kuzo zonke izingane njengoba zilwela ukunquma ukuthi zingobani ngesikhathi esifanayo nemizimba yazo iqala ukushintsha. Kwezinye izingane, imizimba yazo ayishintshi ngokushesha njengaleyo yontanga yazo, okungase kukhiqize owayo uthuthuva. Phonsa ukukhubazeka ekuhlanganiseni futhi ungacabanga ukuthi inhliziyo yengane enezidingo ezikhethekile ingaba ntekenteke kangakanani.

Akumangalisi ukuthi ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi izingane ezinokukhubazeka ekufundeni zivame ukudangala kunezinye izingane, noma ukuthi ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, nezinye izinkinga ezingokomzwelo zivamile phakathi kwabanye abanezidingo ezikhethekile. Lezi zingane zivame ukuhlukaniswa nabantu futhi zenziwe zizizwe zihlukile njengoba zinjalo. Uma lokhu kuhlanganiswa nobuxhwanguxhwangu ayanda amathuba okucindezeleka.

Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi izingane ezinezimo ezithile zempilo ezingamahlalakhona zisengozini eyengeziwe ukuzilimaza , ukucabanga ukuzibulala , futhi imizamo yokuzibulala . Siyazi nokuthi izingane nge ukukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka (izinkinga ezihlobene kokubili ukukhubazeka kanye nokuxhashazwa) kungenzeka ukuthi ucabange noma uzame ukuzibulala kunezinye izingane.

Uma ingane yakho inokukhubazeka futhi ixhashazwa akusho ukuthi izozama ukuzilimaza, kodwa kusho ukuthi kufanele uthathe lesi simo ngokungathi sína futhi unikeze usizo. usizo nokusekela uyadinga.

Ungayivikela Kanjani Ingane Yakho Ekuqineni

Kuye ngokukhubazeka kwengane yakho ingase ingakwazi kalula ukunqanda ubuqhwaga, kodwa kunezinto ongazenza ukuze usize.

• Yakha ukuzethemba kwengane yakho nokuzihlonipha. IBhayibheli lisitshela ukuthi “singumsebenzi wakhe, sidalelwe imisebenzi emihle kuKristu Jesu…” (Kwabase-Efesu 2:10). Ingane yakho idalelwe ukwenza kuhle , kodwa kufanelekile ukuthola ukuthi yini ingane yakho engayenza kahle .
  Nakuba ingane yakho inokukhubazeka, maningi amathuba okuthi iphumelele ezintweni ezithile. Umzimba wami wawuthintekile ngenxa ye-CP yami kodwa ingqondo yami ayizange ithinteke. Ngikwazile ukwenza kahle ezifundweni. Mhlawumbe ingane yakho inokukhubazeka okukhulu kakhulu. Noma kunjalo, lokho akusho ukuthi ingane yakho ayikwazi ukwenza lutho. Thola ukuthi yini angayenza futhi usebenze ukuze umsize afinyelele umuzwa womuntu siqu wokufeza okuthile.
  Futhi nakuba ngingeyena umlandeli omkhulu womqondo wokuthi yonke ingane ithole umklomelo ngokubamba iqhaza nje (empeleni, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi lokhu kwehlisa izimpumelelo zabo zangempela), lokho akusho ukuthi akufanele sazise futhi sibungaze ukusebenza kanzima. kanye nokuzuza okungcono kakhulu komuntu siqu. Qaphela umzamo wangempela futhi ukhuthaze ingane yakho ukuba yenze futhi ibe okungcono kakhulu kwayo.
  Izingane ezizethembayo mancane amathuba okuba zixhashazwe.
• Yenza ingane yakho ihileleke. Umuzwa wokuxhumana nabantu nawo uvikela ubuxhwanguxhwangu. Ingane yakho ingaxhunywa kuphi? Iqembu lezingane noma lentsha lesonto lakho lendawo liyindawo enhle yokuqala.
  Ingabe ingane yakho inalo ithalente lomculo? Mqondise ekwayeni yesikole noma ibhendi, noma ibhendi yentsha yesonto lakho noma ithimba lokukhonza. Bheka ukuze ubone ukuthi yimaphi amakilabhu atholakala esikoleni noma emphakathini, izindawo lapho ingane yakho ingazizwa iyingxenye yeqembu. Zama ukunikeza ingane yakho amathuba amaningi ngangokunokwenzeka okusebenzisa amandla ayo, yamukelekile, futhi yakhe ubungane namakhono okuxhumana nabantu.
• Fundisa ingane yakho ukuthi ubuyena butholakala kuKristu. Ngiyaye ngitshele abantu ukuthi uma uphilela ukuvunyelwa abanye abantu uzofa ngokulahlwa. Ukwenqatshwa kubuhlungu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungubani, kodwa ungasiza ingane yakho ukuba iqonde ukuthi ukubaluleka kwayo kwangempela akunqunywa izingane esikoleni noma nawe njengomzali. Ubungako bakhe bangempela bubekwe nguNkulunkulu owanikela ngeNdodana yakhe ezelwe yodwa ngenxa yomntwana wakho (Johane 3:16 akagcini nje “ngezwe” – uthando lwakhe lukhulu kangangokuthi ingane yakho , hhayi nje bonke abantu “abajwayelekile”).
  Abazali bami bangisiza ngaqonda zisuka nje ukuthi uNkulunkulu wayenenjongo necebo ngami. Uyakukholelwa lokho ngengane yakho? Ngisho noma ingane yakho inokulinganiselwa nezidingo ezinzima, yazi ukuthi ingane yakho yadalwa ngomfanekiso kaNkulunkulu, inenjongo. Khumbuza ingane yakho ngalokho kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka. Ungase ukhulume naye ngomyalezo kaJeremiya 29:11 (“Ngokuba ngiyawazi amacebo enginawo ngani, usho uJehova …”) nokuthi angasebenza kanjani kuye. Bheka izici zempilo nobuntu bakhe ezibonisa isimo sikaNkulunkulu – uthando, umusa, ukusungula izinto, uzwelo, njalo njalo. Mkhumbuze ukuthi lezi izingxenye ezibalulekile zokuthi uNkulunkulu ungubani, futhi ukhulume ngendlela labo abakhanya ngayo kuye. Qaphela ukuthi ingxenye yesu nobizo lukaNkulunkulu ukuthi sikhonze Yena kanye nabanye. Cabangela ukuzibandakanya naye kuphrojekthi yesevisi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, tshela ingane yakho iqiniso elikweyesi-2 Korinte 12:9 . Ezweni eligcwele ukungabi nasici, umusa kaNkulunkulu wanele kuye kunoma ibuphi ubuthakathaka angaba nabo.
  Okokugcina, siza umntanakho aqonde ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iziphi izinselele ebhekana nazo, uNkulunkulu wazi konke ngaye kuhlanganise nokuthi wenziwa nini futhi kanjani ( IHubo 139:13-15 ). Uma izingane zibhekene nezikhathi ezinzima kulula ukuthi zizwe sengathi zingamaphutha. Lokho kuhamba kakhulu ezinganeni ezikhubazekile. Kodwa nakuba singawazi amacebo kaNkulunkulu, ingane yakho ingathola ukuqiniseka eZwini likaNkulunkulu ukuthi ayilona iphutha noma ukucabanga ngemva kwalokho, nokuthi uNkulunkulu umbhekile.
• Yiba khona ngengane yakho. IBhayibheli lisitshela ukuthi uJehova uyidwala nenqaba yethu (IHubo 18:2). Ngisho ngisemncane kakhulu, ngangazi ukuthi uJesu uyidwala lami. Nakuba wayengumthombo wami omkhulu wamandla nesivikelo, abazali bami babengowesibili omangalisayo. Ngaphandle kwesikhuthazo sabo nokusekelwa bekuyoba lula ukulahla ithemba nokukholelwa zonke izinto ezimbi abanye abazisho ngami (futhi ngezwa izinto eziningi ezidumazayo). Yazisa ingane yakho ukuthi uhlezi usekhoneni layo.
  Ngenkathi ulapho, ungakhohlwa ukuphakamisa ingane yakho ngomthandazo. Ingane yakho ilwa impi nsuku zonke, futhi ezinye izinsuku zinzima ngempela kunezinye. Imithandazo yakho ingasiza ingane yakho ukuba ilwe ukulwa okuhle. Thandaza, njengoPawulu, ukuba umntanakho aqiniswe emoyeni wakhe futhi agcwale ulwazi lothando lukaNkulunkulu ( Efesu 3:14-19 ).

Awukwazi ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ingane yakho ayisoze yaxhashazwa, kodwa lawa macebiso anganciphisa amathuba okuthi iqokelwe lolu hlobo lwempatho futhi ayinikeze ukuqina ngezikhathi zobunzima.

Ungasho Kanjani Uma Ingane Yakho Ixhashazwa

Kunezinombolo ezimbalwa zezinkomba ezingase ziphakamise ukuthi ingane yakho iyaxhashazwa.

• Ukwehla kwamabanga noma ukungafuni ukuya esikoleni
• Ukukhononda njalo ngesisu noma ukugula ukuze ugweme isikole
• Inkinga yokulala noma amaphupho amabi
• Ukulimala okungachazeki
• Ukuncipha kwesifiso sokudla (noma ukudla ngaphezu kokujwayelekile)
• Ezinye izimpawu zokucindezeleka

Kunezinye izinkomba eziningi, futhi lezi ezibalwe lapha aziveli kuzo zonke izingane. Uma ubona enye yazo enganeni yakho, khuluma nayo. Ukugcina imizila yokuxhumana ivulekile kuyokwenza kube lula ngengane yakho ukwabelana nawe ngemicabango yayo nolwazi.

Yini Okufanele Uyenze Uma Uthola Ingane Yakho Ixhashazwa?

• Yazisa ingane yakho ukuthi ayiyedwa ekuxhashazweni, futhi inkinga ebilokhu iqhubeka kusukela kuKhayini no-Abela. Ingane yakho kufanele yazi ukuthi akuyena yedwa umuntu obhekene nalokhu.
• Fundisa ingane yakho ukuthi imelane nokuxhashazwa ngolimi olufanele. “Yeka,” “Sekwanele,” kanye “Cha” amagama anikeza amandla okufanele afunde ukuwasebenzisa.
• Nakuba ingane yakho kufanele imelane neziqhwaga, msize aqonde ukuthi ukuzilwela akuyona impendulo, ngisho noma ukukhubazeka kwakhe kungabeki imingcele engokomzimba. Ukulwa kungase kubhebhethekise izinkinga futhi kuzenze zibe zimbi nakakhulu, futhi izikole ezinemigomo yokungabekezeleli lutho cishe ngeke zibe nandaba nokuthi ubani othathe isinyathelo kuqala noma yini ebangele ukungqubuzana.
• Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi ibike ukuxhashazwa, futhi ikhulume nomuntu omdala engamethemba.

Izingane yizo ezibhekana ngqo nokuxhashazwa, kodwa akumele kube phezu kwazo ukukuqeda. Abantu abadala kudingeka babambe iqhaza elibonakalayo ekuvimbeleni nasekumiseni ubuxhwanguxhwangu. Lapho izingane ezisengozini ikakhulukazi (njengalezo ezinezidingo ezikhethekile) zihilelekile, abantu abadala kudingeka basukume basize.

Khuluma nothisha bengane yakho, umeluleki wesikole, umqeqeshi, noma umqondisi wesikole ngalesi simo. Umbono wakho wokuqala ungase ube ukuya esikoleni uthukuthele. Leyo ngokuvamile akuyona indlela engcono kakhulu yokusingatha lolu daba. Intukuthelo nolaka akusizi futhi kungase kungaqinisekiswa ngokuphelele. Ulwazi olunikezayo kungase kube elokuqala izisebenzi zesikole eziluzwile ngale nkinga. Chaza izimo bese ubuza ukuthi bahlela ukwenzani ukunqanda ubuqhwaga.

Uma izinto zingahambi kahle ngokushesha, qhubeka nokumela ingane yakho futhi uhlale uthintana nothisha nabaphathi. Qaphela ukuthi umthetho wombuso udinga ukuthi ukukhubazeka kwengane yakho kubhekelelwe, futhi lokho kuhlanganisa indawo yemfundo engenakho ukuhlukunyezwa. ⁶

Izwi Kubazali Beziqhwaga

Njengoba kushiwo ngenhla, ezinye izingane ezinezidingo ezikhethekile (njengokukhubazeka kokufunda) zivame ukuxhashazwa futhi ziqinele abanye. Kungase kulingeke ukuyizulisa (“Indodana yami ihlale iqokwa ngakho-ke kulungile uma ibuyisela enye yayo”).

Ungayinciphisi inkinga. Ingane yakho ngeke izuze ngokudlulisela usizi lwayo komunye umuntu. Kuvele kwakha olunye ungqimba lobuhlungu nobuhlungu benhliziyo.

Xoxa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe ngokuqokwa futhi ubuze ukuthi kwamenza wazizwa kanjani. Mkhumbuze ukuthi ezinye izingane zifuna ukwamukelwa ngendlela afuna ukwamukelwa ngayo. Inselele ukuthi akhuthaze abanye.

Sebenzela ukufundisa ingane yakho uzwela. Indlela enhle yokwenza lokhu ihilela ukukhonza abanye. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lokho kuwukuchitha isikhathi sokuzithandela ndawonye endaweni yokukhosela engenakhaya noma ukuthatha ipuleti lamakhukhi uliyise kumakhelwane ovalelwe, ukwenzela abanye okuhle kusiza izingane zifunde izindinganiso zobubele nokuqonda.

Zihlole. Ubeka siphi isibonelo? Ingabe unesineke nozwela, noma ingabe unokhahlo ngengane yakho? Ingabe ubaphatha ngomusa abanye noma ubaphatha njengezinto noma izithiyo? Bonisa ingane yakho indlela efanele yokuphatha abanye. Sebenzisa isibonelo sakho ukuze ubeke umgoqo wezimo zengqondo nokuziphatha kwakhe.

Ukuthola Usizo

Ukuba ngumama noma ubaba kungaba nzima ngaphansi kwezimo ezinhle kakhulu. Ukukhulisa ingane enezidingo ezikhethekile, noma ukubhekana nokuxhashazwa, kunezela elinye izinga lenselele. Uma ungathanda ukukhuluma nothile ngezinkinga zomndeni wakho noma okukukhathazayo, ngiyacela shayela abeluleki bethu babasebenzi lapha ku-Focus on the Family . Abeluleki bethu abangochwepheshe abanamalayisense banganikeza ukubonisana kanye, futhi banganikeza nokudluliselwa kwabeluleki abangamaKristu abanelayisensi endaweni yakini. Azikho izindleko kuwe zale sevisi; yindlela yethu yokukhombisa ukuthi siyabakhathalela.