Ukuba Umzali Omuhle
Ungakhohliswa ubude bazo
Sekela abanamahloni
Ukuba nenhloni okuncane kuyinto eyodwa, kodwa izingane ezinokuthiywa kokuziphatha - isici esisho amahloni kanye nokuqapha ngokweqile lapho zibhekene nezimo ezintsha - zingase zibe sengozini enkulu yokuba nezinkinga zokukhathazeka, ngokusho kwabacwaningi. Futhi abazali abakhoselisa izingane ezibonisa ukuvinjelwa kokuziphatha (empeleni, ukukhuthaza lokhu kuvinjelwa) empeleni kungenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu.
Ngakho uzondla kanjani izingane ezinamahloni? Okubalulekile wukubakhipha ezindaweni zabo zokunethezeka ngaphandle kokuzama ukushintsha imvelo yabo, kusho uSandee McClowry, udokotela wezengqondo eNyuvesi yaseNew York. Kungani ungamane uwaphule imikhuba yawo enamahloni? Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi amahloni ayingxenye yobuntu bezinye izingane futhi kuwumkhuba onzima kakhulu ukuwushintsha. Ngamanye amazwi, kungcono ukusebenza ngamahloni kunokuphikisa.
"Lokho ukwamukelwa kwengane kuyinto enkulu, enkulu," uMcClowry etshela i-Live Science ngoSepthemba 2016.
Phila okwamanje
Abantu abadala bathambekele ekuhlaleni becabanga ngekusasa, kodwa izingane - ikakhulukazi izingane ezisenkulisa (ezineminyaka emi-2 kuye kweyi-5) - zihlala lapha namanje, kusho ososayensi. Ukuze bafinyelele ezingeni lengane, abazali kudingeka bafunde nendlela yokuphila ngaleso sikhathi, kusho uTovah Klein, umqondisi weBarnard College Center for Toddler Development eNew York City.
Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ekukhulumeni ngomlomo nengane encane, kusho u-Klein, ophinde abe umbhali wencwadi ethi "Indlela Izingane Ezikhula Ngayo Zikhula Ngayo" (Touchstone, 2014).
Esikhundleni sokutshela ingane eneminyaka emi-3 ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokulungela isenzo esithile sesikhathi esizayo, njengokuya esikoleni, abazali kufanele banikeze ingane yabo isethi yemiyalelo, u-Klein utshele i-Live Science ngo-Agasti 2016. Shintshanisa izitatimende ezingacacile njengokuthi "sekusondele isikhathi sokuthi esikoleni” ngezincazelo ezicacile nezilula neziqondiso, njengokuthi, “Kudingeka sihambe siye esikoleni. Sekuyisikhathi sokuthola ijazi lakho.”
Batshele indlela abazizwa ngayo
Nakuba izingane ezindala zibhekwa kabanzi njengamakhosi nezindlovukazi zokuziveza, izingane ezincane ngokuvamile zintula ulwazi lwamagama lokulebula kahle imizwa yazo, ngokusho kwabacwaningi abacwaninga ngokukhula kwezingane.
Izingane ezineminyaka engu-2 kuya kwengu-5 zisaqala ukuqonda imizwa efana nokwesaba, ukukhungatheka noma ukudumala, ngokusho kukaKlein.
Ungayisiza ingane yakho ukuba iveze imizwa yayo ngokumemeza imizwa enjalo lapho uyibona. Ngokwesibonelo, umzali angase athi, “Kuyadumaza ukuthi liyana ngaphandle, futhi awukwazi ukuyodlala ngaphandle,” kusho uKlein.
Yehlisa kancane ijubane
Isheduli ematasatasa yokuba umuntu omdala ayihlali ihambisana nejubane elikhululekile lobuntwana, ngokusho kuka-Klein.
"Izingane zihamba ngesivinini esiphansi," futhi abazali kufanele bazame ukufanisa lelo jubane, kusho uKlein. Ngokuhlela isikhathi esengeziwe sezinto ezincane, njengenqubo yokulala noma uhambo lokuya esitolo segrosa, abazali bangashintsha imisebenzi ematasa ibe isikhathi esizuzisa kakhulu nezingane zabo, esho.
Nciphisa iziphazamiso
Ingabe uyawahlola ama-imeyili noma uyaskrola kokuphakelayo kwakho kwezokuxhumana kuyilapho uchitha isikhathi esihle nezingane zakho? Ngoba akufanele, kusho uKlein.
Kunzima ukuhlanganyela ngempela nezingane zakho uma uphazanyiswa inqwaba yezinye izinto. Futhi lokhu kuba khona okuphazamisekile kungase kuphazamise izingane, ezingase zizwe sengathi awuzithandi ngempela uma ukunaka kwakho kuhlukene phakathi, kusho uKlein.
“Izingane azikudingi ukunakwa abazali bazo izikhathi ezingu-24/7 namaphesenti angu-100,” esho. Kodwa lapho izingane zakho zidinga ukunakwa kwakho okugcwele, kufanele uzinike ngaphandle kokuxwayiswa.
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Yiba nenhlonipho
Khumbula, ukucasuka kwentsha kungokoqobo
Ezimweni ezinjalo, abazali kufanele bahlale bezolile futhi balalele izingane zabo, kusho uSheryl Feinstein, umlobi wencwadi ethi “Inside the Teenage Brain: Parenting a Work in Progress” (Rowman noLittlefield, 2009.) Ukumodela ukuziphatha okunengqondo kuyindlela enhle yokufundisa ingane yakho. indlela efanele yokubhekana nakho konke lokho kucindezeleka.
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Umthetho wegolide
Namathela ezintweni eziyisisekelo
Ukuqina kunemiphumela enzima
Obaba: Zibandakanye
Khohlwa i-stereotype kababa obhubhuzayo ongakwazi ukushintsha inabukeni. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ngokungaguquki ukuthi obaba balungile kuyo yonke le nto yokukhulisa izingane njengomama. Ngaphezu kwalokho, obaba baletha inqwaba yamakhono abalulekile okuba ngumzali etafuleni.
Obaba banethonya elinamandla ukuphila kwezingane zabo ngezindlela eziningana, ngokusho kukaW. Brad Wilcox, isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu e-University of Virginia esifundela umshado nemindeni. Okokuqala, obaba bavame ukudlala kabi nezingane kunomama, okusiza izingane zifunde ukulawula imizimba nemizwelo yazo. Isitayela sikababa sokudlala ngezandla siphinde sikhuthaze ukuthatha ingozi okunempilo, okungaba nomthelela ezifisweni zengane esikhathini eside, uWilcox utshele i-Live Science ngo-2013. Ubudlelwano obuqinile bukababa bubuye bufike nezinga elithile lokuvikela, njengoba ucwaningo luye lwabonisa. bathole ukuthi izingane ezinobaba abathintekayo mancane amathuba okuthi zibe yizisulu zokunukubezwa ngokocansi noma zokuhlukunyezwa, esho.
Yiba negunya
Ingabe ufuna ukuvimbela ingane yakho ukuthi ingasebenzisi izidakamizwa notshwala? Indlela ephumelela kakhulu yokwenza lokho iwukuba negunya, ngokusho kwabacwaningi. Ucwaningo olwanyatheliswa kumagazini i-Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine ngo-2012 lwathola ukuthi intsha enabazali abanegunya (ucwaningo luchaze lokhu njengokulawula, kodwa ngesimo sengqondo esifudumele) mancane kakhulu amathuba okuba iphuze, ibheme ugwayi noma isebenzise ibhodwe. intsha abazali bayo ababenganaki (okungukuthi abalawuleki futhi bentula imfudumalo).
Ungachazi ngokweqile
Khuthaza ubungane
LOL! Ukuncokola Kuyasiza
Khanyisa! Ukuncokola nosana lwakho olusacathula kuyasiza ukuthi luyilungisele impumelelo yomphakathi, ngokocwaningo olwethulwa ku-Economic and Social Research Councils' Festival of Social Science 2011. Uma abazali benza amahlaya futhi bezenzisa, kunikeza izingane ezincane amathuluzi okucabanga ngobuciko, ukwenza abangani nokuphatha. ukucindezeleka. Ngakho-ke zizwe ukhululekile ukudlala i- court jester — izingane zakho zizokubonga kamuva.
Yiba Nombono Oqondile
Akumangazi lapha: Abazali abazwakalisa imizwa engemihle ezinsaneni zabo noma ababhekana nazo cishe bangase bazithole benezingane ezinkulisa ezinolaka. Lezo yizindaba ezimbi, ngoba ukuhlukumeza kokuziphatha lapho uneminyaka engu-5 ubudala kuxhunyaniswa nolaka kamuva ekuphileni, ngisho nakubalingani bothando besikhathi esizayo. Ngakho uma uzithola usomjikelezo womzali othukuthele, umntwana othukuthele, umzali othukuthele, zama ukugqashula. Kuzokudambisa izinkinga zakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Khulisa Ukuzihawukela
Icala labazali imboni yayo siqu, kodwa gwema undertow! Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi ukuzizwela kuyikhono lempilo elibaluleke kakhulu, okusiza abantu ukuthi bahlale beqinile lapho bebhekene nezinselele. Ukuzihawukela kwakhiwe ukucabangela, ikhono lokulawula imicabango nemizwa ngaphandle kokuthathwa noma ukuyicindezela, ubuntu obuvamile, noma ukuzwelana nokuhlupheka kwabanye, kanye nomusa, ukuqaphela ukuhlupheka kwakho nokuzibophezela ukuxazulula inkinga. Abazali bangasebenzisa uzwela lapho bebhekana nezinkinga zokukhulisa izingane. Ngokwenza kanjalo, bangabekela izingane zabo isibonelo.
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Yekela
Lapho amazinyane endiza esidlekeni, ucwaningo lusikisela ukuthi kungcono ukuwayeka ahambe. Abasanda kuhlanganyela basekolishi abanabazali “abanophephela emhlane” abaphazamisayo bavame ukukhathazeka, ukuzinyeza futhi bavuleleke kancane kokuhlangenwe nakho okusha kunozakwabo abanomama nobaba abakhululeke kakhudlwana. Lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele ukhahlele inzalo yakho emkhawulweni we-18, kodwa uma uzithola ubiza oprofesa bengane yakho ukuze baphikisane ngamamaki akhe, kungase kube yisikhathi sokuhlehla.
Wukhulise Umshado Wakho
Uma ungumzali onomunye obalulekile, ungavumeli ubuhlobo bakho nomngane wakho womshado noma umlingani wakho buwele endleleni lapho umntwana ezalwa. Abazali abanenkinga yokungazinzi emshadweni, njengokucabangela isehlukaniso, bangase bamise izinsana zabo ezinkingeni zokulala lapho zisencane, ngokocwaningo olwanyatheliswa ngoMeyi 2011 kujenali ethi Child Development. Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi umshado onezinkinga lapho ingane inezinyanga eziyisi-9 idala inkinga yokulala ingane inezinyanga ezingu-18. Kungenzeka ukuthi izindlu ezinezinkinga ziyizindlu ezicindezelayo, futhi lokho kucindezeleka kuyimbangela yezinkinga zokulala.
Nakekela Impilo Yakho Yengqondo
Uma usola ukuthi ucindezelekile, thola usizo - ngenxa yakho nengane yakho. Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi omama abacindezelekile badonsa kanzima ngokuba ngumzali futhi baze babonise izimpendulo ezithulisiwe ekukhaleni kwezingane zabo uma kuqhathaniswa nomama abanempilo. Omama abacindezelekile abanezitayela ezingezinhle zokubeletha bangase babe nomthelela ekucindezelekeni kwezingane zabo, ngokusho kocwaningo lwango-2011 oluthola ukuthi izingane ezikhuliswe yilabo mama zicindezeleka kalula ngeminyaka yasenkulisa. Okutholakele kubukeka kufiphele, kodwa abacwaningi bathi banethemba, ngoba ukukhulisa izingane kahle kungafundiswa ngisho nalapho umama noma ubaba benenkinga yempilo yabo yengqondo.
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Mama, Niziphathe Kahle Emadodaneni Akho
Ubudlelwano obuseduze nomama babo bungasiza ekutheni abafana bangalingisi, ngokocwaningo lwango-2010. Ubuhlobo obufudumele, obunamathele nomama bubonakala bubalulekile ekuvimbeleni izinkinga zokuziphatha emadodaneni, ngisho nangaphezu kwamantombazane, ucwaningo lwathola. Okutholakele, okushicilelwe kumagazini iChild Development, kuqokomisa isidingo “sokusondelana okuvikelekile” phakathi kwezingane nabazali bazo, isitayela lapho izingane zingaya khona kumama nomama “njengesisekelo esivikelekile” esiduduzayo ngaphambi kokungena ezweni elibanzi.
Isibopho sikamama singase senza uthando olungcono kamuva ekuphileni, njengoba olunye ucwaningo lwabikwa ngo-2010 lwabonisa ukuthi ubuhlobo obuseduze nomama womuntu esanda kuthomba (ngeminyaka engu-14) babuhlotshaniswa nobuhlobo bothando obungcono kakhulu lapho abantu abasha. “Ubudlelwano babazali nezingane zabo bubaluleke kakhulu futhi yileyo ndlela esithuthukisa ngayo ikhono lethu lokuba nobudlelwano obuphumelelayo njengabantu abadala, abazali bethu bayizibonelo zethu,” kusho umcwaningi wocwaningo uConstance Gager, waseMontclair State University eNew Jersey, ngaleso sikhathi. Ngakho uma izingane zingazizwa zisondelene nabazali bazo cishe ngeke zilingise izici ezinhle zalobo buhlobo lapho sezikhulile.”
Ungajuluki I-Sassing Encane
Intsha ephendula abazali bayo ingase ithukuthelise, kodwa ukuphikisana kwayo kuhlobene nokwenqaba ngokuqinile ukucindezela kontanga ngaphandle kwekhaya. Ngamanye amazwi, ukuzimela ekhaya kukhuthaza ukuzimela phakathi kwabangane.
Nokho, ungakhathazeki: Lolu cwaningo alusikiseli ukuthi izingane kufanele zibe nobudlelwano obungathandeki nabazali bazo. Eqinisweni, isibopho esilondekile phakathi kwentsha nomama sibuye sihlotshaniswe nokunciphisa ukucindezela kontanga. Intsha idinga ukuzijwayeza ukuzimela, kusho abacwaningi, kodwa futhi idinga ukwesekwa ngabazali bayo.
Ungaphokophele Ukuphelela
Akekho umuntu ongenasici, ngakho-ke ungazihlukumezi nge-bar ephezulu kakhulu ukuze uphumelele njengomzali. Ngokocwaningo olwanyatheliswa ngo-2011 kujenali ethi Personality and Individual Differences, abazali abasha abakholelwa ukuthi umphakathi ulindele ukuphelela kubo bacindezeleka kakhulu futhi abazethembi ngamakhono abo okukhulisa izingane. Futhi akumangalisi! Yenza umzamo wokungazinaki ukucindezela, futhi ungase uzithole ungumzali okhululeke kakhudlwana.
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Okokugcina, Yazi Izingane Zakho
Wonke umuntu ucabanga ukuthi uyayazi indlela engcono kakhulu yokukhulisa ingane. Kodwa kuvele ukuthi ukukhulisa izingane akuwona wonke umuntu. Eqinisweni, izingane ezinabazali abavumelanisa isitayela sazo somzali nobuntu bengane zinengxenye yokukhathazeka nokudangala kontanga yabo abanabazali abaqinile, ngokocwaningo olwanyatheliswa ngo-August 2011 kuyi-Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology. Kuvele ukuthi ezinye izingane, ikakhulukazi lezo ezinenkinga yokulawula imizwa yazo, zingase zidinge usizo olwengeziwe oluvela kumama noma kubaba. Kodwa abazali bangakwazi ukulimaza izingane ezilungiswe kahle ngokuzulazula kakhulu. Ukhiye, kusho umcwaningi ophambili uLiliana Lengua waseNyuvesi yaseWashington, ungenelela ngoxhaso olusekelwe kulokho okushiwo yingane.
Umthombo: https://www.livescience.com
