Okunye okuthokozisayo ngokuba ngumzali wukuthi kunomehluko omkhulu endleleni esikhulisa ngayo izingane zethu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kunezinto eziningi ezifanayo ezivela kumzali oyedwa kuya komunye. Eqinisweni, kunokufana okwanele abacwaningi abaye bazama ukuhlanganisa abazali ngezitayela ezine ezivamile zokukhulisa izingane.
Isitayela sakho sokukhulisa izingane sisho inhlanganisela yamasu owasebenzisayo ukukhulisa izingane zakho. Umsebenzi ka-Diane Baumrind ngeminyaka yawo-1960 wadala isigaba esisodwa esivame ukubhekwa sezitayela zokukhulisa izingane.
Izitayela ezine zokukhulisa izingane ze-Baumrind zinamagama nezici ezihlukene :
- Isiphathimandla noma isijeziso
- Ukhululekile noma Ukhululekile
- Ukungabandakanyeki
- Igunya
Lezi zitayela zokukhulisa izingane ze-Baumrind zigxile e-United States futhi akucaci ukuthi lezi zitayela zibachaza kahle kanjani abazali ngokwehlukana kwamasiko. Isitayela ngasinye sokukhulisa izingane siyahlukahluka okungenani ezindaweni ezine: isitayela sokuziphatha, ukuxhumana, ukondla, kanye nalokho okulindelekile.
Izitayela Zokukhulisa I-Baumrind: Izinhlobo Ezine Zokukhulisa Umzali
Umzali Onegunya
Abazali abagunyaziwe bavame ukubhekwa njengabaqondisi.
- Basebenzisa isitayela sokuziphatha esiqinile ngokuxoxisana okuncane okungenzeka. Isijeziso sivamile.
- Ukuxhumana ngokuvamile kuyindlela eyodwa: ukusuka kumzali kuye enganeni. Imithetho ngokuvamile ayichazwa.
- Abazali abanalesi sitayela ngokuvamile abakhulisi kangako.
- Okulindelekile kuphezulu ngokuguquguquka okulinganiselwe.
Ukukhulisa Okuvumelayo
Abazali abayekelelayo noma Abazithene ngokuvamile bavumela izingane zabo zenze ezikufunayo, futhi banikeze isiqondiso esilinganiselwe noma isiqondiso. Bafana kakhulu nabangane kunabazali.
- Isitayela sabo sokuziphatha siphambene nesiqinile. Banemithetho elinganiselwe noma abanayo nhlobo futhi ngokuvamile bavumela izingane ukuba zizitholele izinkinga ngokwazo.
- Ukuxhumana kuvulekile kodwa laba bazali bavumela izingane zizinqumele kunokuba zinikeze isiqondiso.
- Abazali abakulesi sigaba bavame ukufudumala futhi bakhulise.
- Okulindelekile ngokuvamile kuncane noma akusethwa yilaba bazali.
Umzali Ongabandakanyi
Abazali abangabandakanyi banikeza izingane inkululeko eningi futhi ngokuvamile bazigweme. Abanye abazali bangase benze isinqumo ngomzali ngale ndlela, kuyilapho abanye bengenasithakazelo sokukhulisa izingane noma bangaqiniseki ukuthi benzeni.
- Asikho isitayela esithile sokuziphatha esisetshenziswayo. Umzali ongahileleki uvumela ingane ukuba yenze lokho ekufunayo, mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuntula ulwazi noma ukukhathalela.
- Ukuxhumana kulinganiselwe.
- Leli qembu labazali linikeza ukukhuliswa okuncane.
- Kumbalwa noma akukho okulindelwe yizingane.
Ukukhulisa Umzali Ogunyaziwe
Abazali abanegunya bayacabangela futhi bayakhulisa futhi babeke amathemba aphezulu, acacile. Izingane ezinabazali ababonisa lesi sitayela zivame ukuzikhuza futhi zizicabangele. Lesi sitayela kucatshangwa ukuthi sizuzisa kakhulu izingane.
- Imithetho yokuqondisa izigwegwe icacile futhi izizathu zayo ziyachazwa.
- Ukuxhumana kwenzeka kaningi futhi kuyafaneleka ezingeni lokuqonda kwengane.
- Abazali abagunyaziwe bayakhulisa.
- Okulindelekile nemigomo kuphezulu kodwa kuchazwe ngokucacile. Izingane zingase zibe nokufaka emigomweni.
Siyini Isitayela Sami Sokuba Ngumzali?
Bambalwa bethu abafanelana kahle nesitayela esisodwa somzali oyedwa, kodwa kunalokho bakhulise izingane kusetshenziswa inhlanganisela yezitayela. Cabanga ngezitayela ezine njengokuqhubeka esikhundleni sezindlela ezine ezihlukene zokuba umzali. Ngokufanelekile, sicabanga ngezingane zethu nalokho ezikudingayo kithi ngezikhathi ezithile. Isibonelo, nakuba umzali engase angasisebenzisi isitayela sokukhulisa izingane esinegunya, kungase kube nezikhathi empilweni yengane lapho kudingeka khona leso sitayela. Noma kungenzeka wazi umzali ongumashiqela owondlayo, ngokuphambene nencazelo engenhla.
Izici zokuthi Izingane "ziphuma kanjani"
Nakuba kulula ngomkhaya lapho bobabili abazali besebenzisa indlela efanayo yokukhulisa izingane, olunye ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi uma okungenani umzali oyedwa enegunya, lokho kungcono enganeni kunokuba nabazali ababili abanesitayela esifanayo, esingaphumeleli kangako.
Futhi-ke, kunamathonya amaningi okuthi izingane ziba yini kunesitayela sokukhulisa izingane. Ezinye zezinto eziningi ezinomthelela ekukhuleni kwengane zihlanganisa lezi zici:
- Ubumnene bengane nendlela “efanelana” ngayo nabazali.
- Isitayela sothisha sokusebenza nezingane kanye nokufanisa isitayela sokufundisa nesitayela somzali.
- Ithonya leqembu lontanga bengane.
Namuhla, kuvela amagama amasha ezitayela zokukhulisa izingane. Isibonelo, “indiza enophephela emhlane yokuba umzali” iyafana nesitayela esigunyaziwe, kodwa ngokubandakanyeka okuthe xaxa, noma abanye bangase bathi ukuhileleka ngokweqile, ekuphileni kwengane. "Ukukhulisa umzali okhululekile" kufana nesitayela esingahileli, kodwa ngesinqumo esinengqondo sokuvumela ukucabanga okuzimele okungokwentshisekelo yengane.
Ukuzindla ngokuthi ungena kuphi ku-spectrum yezitayela zokukhulisa izingane kungaba usizo. Ukuqhubekela phambili ngaleso sinyathelo esisodwa: yazi ukuthi noma imuphi wethu onanoma isiphi isitayela nganoma isiphi isikhathi ngesikhathi angazuza ekuzibukeni kwakhe okuvamise ukuvela ngokubamba iqhaza ekilasini labazali. Ukukhuluma nabanye abazali kanye nomsizi kungaba usizo futhi kuqinise idolo.
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