Sonke sifuna ukukhulisa izingane ezihlakaniphile, ezethembayo neziphumelelayo . Kodwa ungaqala ngaphi? Futhi yisiphi isitayela somzali esingcono kakhulu ongahamba naso?
Izitayela zokukhulisa izingane ziwela ngaphansi kwezigaba ezine eziyinhloko. Kungenzeka ukuthi usebenzisa eyodwa noma eziningi zalezi zitayela ezahlukene ngezikhathi ezahlukene, kuye ngesimo nomongo.
Ucwaningo isitshela ukuthi ukukhulisa umzali okugunyaziwe kubekwe ezingeni eliphezulu ngezindlela eziningi: Ezemfundo, ezomphakathi-ngokomzwelo kanye nokuziphatha. Ngokufanayo nabazali abanegunya, abazali abanegunya balindele lukhulu ezinganeni zabo - kodwa balindele okukhulu nakakhulu ekuziphatheni kwabo.
Kuyini ukukhulisa izingane okugunyaziwe?
Abazali abanegunya bayabasekela futhi ngokuvamile bavumelana nezidingo zezingane zabo. Baqondisa izingane zabo ezingxoxweni ezivulekile nezithembekile ukuze zifundise izindinganiso nokubonisana.
Njengabazali abanegunya, babeka imingcele futhi baphoqelele izindinganiso. Kodwa ngokungafani nabazali abanegunya, bakhulisa kakhulu.
Ezinye izici ezivamile zabazali abanegunya:
- Ukusabela ezidingweni ezingokomzwelo zengane yabo, kuyilapho enezindinganiso eziphakeme
- Khulumisana njalo futhi ucabangele imicabango, imizwa nemibono yengane yabo
- Vumela imiphumela yemvelo ukuthi yenzeke, kodwa sebenzisa lawo mathuba ukuze usize ingane yabo icabange futhi ifunde
- Gqugquzela ukuzimela nokucabanga
- Bahileleke kakhulu entuthukweni nasekukhuleni kwengane yabo
Kungani ochwepheshe bevuma ukuba umzali onegunya yisitayela esiphumelela kakhulu
Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi abazali abagunyaziwe kungenzeka ukuthi bakhulise izingane ezizethembayo ezithola impumelelo ezifundweni , zibe namakhono angcono okuxhumana nabantu futhi banekhono kakhulu ukuxazulula izinkinga .
Esikhundleni sokuhlala besiza izingane zabo, okuyinto evamile phakathi kwabazali abayekelelayo, abazali abanegunya bavumela izingane zabo ukuba zenze amaphutha. Lokhu kunikeza izingane ithuba lokufunda kuyilapho futhi zazise ukuthi abazali bazo bazoba khona ukuze bazisekele.
Ukuba umzali onegunya kuyasiza ikakhulukazi lapho sibhekana nokungqubuzana, ngoba indlela esifunda ngayo ukubhekana nokungqubuzana sisebancane idlala indima enkulu endleleni esisingatha ngayo ukulahlekelwa kwethu noma ukuthi siqine kangakanani ekuphileni kwethu kwabantu abadala.
Kubazali abayekelelayo, izixazululo zezingxabano ngokuvamile zixhomeke enganeni. Ingane “iyawina” bese umzali “ehlulwa.” Ngike ngabona ukuthi le ndlela yokwenza izinto iholela ekutheni izingane zizicabangele zona futhi zingakwazi ukuzilawula.
Yiqiniso, kunezikhathi lapho isijeziso, njengokuthatha isikhathi, sidingeka. Kodwa inkinga ngokujeziswa njalo ukuthi empeleni ayifundisi ingane yakho noma yini ewusizo. Ezimweni eziningi, libafundisa ukuthi umuntu onamandla amakhulu uyawina, angenzeleli noma cha.
Ake sithi indodana yakho eneminyaka engu-10 icela ukuthi ingayi ukuyozilolongela ibhola: “Angifuni ngoba angicabangi ukuthi ngiyingcweti kulo.”
Ukuphendula,
- A umzali ovumelayo angase athi, “Kukuwe.”
- A umzali ongenandaba angase athi, “Noma yini oyifunayo ... yimpilo yakho.”
- An umzali onegunya bangase bathi, “Kufanele. Angifuni ukuzwa elinye igama elivela kuwena.”
- An umzali ogunyaziwe angase athi, “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi awufuni ukuhamba. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, ukulwa nesifiso sokugwema ukwenza okuthile kanzima yindlela oba ngcono ngayo!”
Nakuba abazali abagunyaziwe bebeka imingcele futhi balindele ukuthi izingane zabo ziziphathe kahle, abafuni nje ukulalelwa ngokungaboni. Baxhumana futhi babonisane nengane, okungasiza ukukhuthaza ukubambisana nokufundisa izingane isizathu semithetho.
Ukuba ngumzali okugunyaziwe akuqinisekisi impumelelo
Nakuba ochwepheshe bencoma kakhulu ukuba umzali onegunya, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukusebenzisa indlela eyodwa akuqinisekisi ngaso sonke isikhathi imiphumela emihle.
Ukuba umzali akuyona isayensi eqondile. Ngezindlela eziningi, kufana nobuciko. Njengesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sezingane nomama, iseluleko sami esokuba nothando nokuqonda — kodwa futhi ukudala isakhiwo nemingcele.
Ungamane ugxile ekujezisweni. Yisekele futhi uyilalele ngempela ingane yakho. Babuze imibuzo futhi uzame ukuqonda izinto ngokombono wabo. Bavumele bangene ohlelweni lokuthatha izinqumo ukuze bakwazi ukukhula futhi bafunde izinto bebodwa.
Kunomehluko phakathi kwezitayela zokukhulisa izingane kanye nezinqubo zokukhulisa izingane. Isitayela sokuba umzali isimo esingokomzwelo okhulisa ngaso ingane yakho, futhi umkhuba wokuba umzali uyisenzo esiqondile abazali abasisebenzisayo ekukhuliseni kwabo.
Ngamafuphi, ziphatha njengomuntu omuhle ofuna babe yikho.
