Abazali abaningi abasha banikezwa iseluleko esingqubuzanayo. Ingane kufanele ilale ngesisu… ilinde cha, ngomhlane noma… eceleni? Ingane kufanele ilale nomama, cha, embhedeni wayo, cha, ekamelweni layo. Ngezinye izikhathi iseluleko sivela endaweni ethenjwayo, njengodokotela noma ilungu lomndeni. Isikhathi esiningi ayicelwanga kubantu abanezisusa ezinhle, abavame ukutshiyoza izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Jabulela le minyaka njengoba isekhona!” "Lala lapho umntwana elele," futhi i-cherry phezulu, "Yeka ukubamba ingane kakhulu - uzoyonakalisa."
Abazali bathwala kanzima uma kuziwa ekududuzeni usana olukhalayo. Umzwelo wabo wemvelo uwukugijimela ukuyobamba ingane yabo, kodwa ngeseluleko esinjengokuthi, “ungayoni,” bangase bangabaze ngokuzayo lapho bezwa ukukhala.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi asikho isizathu sokungabaza lapho ugone nengane yakho ekhalayo. Nali iqiniso: akunakwenzeka ukuwamosha.
Inhloso Yokukhala Komntwana
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseNotre Dame uDarcia Narvaez wahola ithimba labacwaningi elathola ukuthi izingane ziba abantu abadala abanempilo futhi abajabule kakhudlwana lapho zinabazali abaziphatha ngothando, ukuzwela, nokudlala kusukela zizalwa.
“Kwesinye isikhathi sinabazali abathi uzomosha ingane uma uyilanda uma icindezelekile. Cha, awukwazi ukumosha ingane,” kusho uSolwazi Narvaez.
Ziningi izizathu ezingase zichaze ukuthi kungani ingane ikhalela futhi uSolwazi Narvaez uqinisekisa abazali ukuthi akukubi neze ngokufuna ukududuza ingane.
“Okunye wukulandela imizwa yakho ngoba thina njengabazali sifuna ukubamba izingane zethu,” usho kanje. “Sifuna ukuyigcina iseduze leyo ngane, silandele lowo mqondo. Sifuna ukuyithulisa futhi ijabule ingane ngoba ukukhala kuyakhathaza.”
Ucwaningo
USolwazi Narvaez usebenze nozakwabo ababili, uLijuan Wang no-Ying Cheng, ukwenza lolu cwaningo futhi abakutholile kuzoshicilelwa esihlokweni esilandelayo kujenali. Isayensi Yentuthuko Esetshenziswayo.
Labo profesa abathathu benza inhlolovo yabantu abadala abangaphezu kuka-600 mayelana nobungane babo. Bahlola izinto ezifana nokuthi kungakanani ukuthintwa kothando kwabendlu yabo, ukuthi singakanani ukudlala ngokukhululekile ababevunyelwa beseyingane, nokuthi singakanani isikhathi somkhaya esihle abasithola. Abacwaningi bathola ukuthi abantu abadala abanokukhathazeka okuncane kanye nempilo engcono yengqondo babenezingane ezinhle.
"Lezi zinto ngokuzimela, kodwa futhi zihlanganiswe ndawonye, zibikezele impilo yengqondo yabantu abadala, ngakho-ke babecindezelekile kancane, bangakhathazeki kakhulu, namandla abo omphakathi - babekwazi ukuthatha umbono wabanye abantu," kusho uSolwazi Narvaez. "Babengcono ekusebenzelaneni nabanye futhi babe nezinhliziyo ezivulekile."
J. Kevin Nugent, umqondisi we-Brazelton Institute eSibhedlela Sezingane eBoston futhi oyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yezingane, wathi usana olusanda kuzalwa lufunda ekusebenzelaneni kwalo nabazali balo ukuthi izwe linokwethenjelwa, futhi lingethemba ukuthi izidingo zalo zizokwaneliswa.
Ukusabela ekukhaleni kwengane “akuyona indaba yokonakala,” esho. “Indaba yokuhlangabezana nezidingo zengane.”
Vula Incwadi Eya Kubazali
USolwazi Narvaez ukhuthaza abazali ukuba basabele ekukhaleni kwengane yabo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kusho ukuyibamba, ukuyithinta, noma ukuyinyakazisa; konke kuhle. [3]
“Okwenziwa abazali ngalezo zinyanga neminyaka yokuqala kuyithinta ngempela indlela ubuchopho obuzokhula ngayo ukuphila kwabo konke,” kuchaza uNarvaez, “kangangokuba ukubamba okuningi, ukuthinta nokunyakazisa, yilokho okulindeleke izingane. Zikhula kangcono ngaleyo ndlela. Futhi uzigcine zizolile, ngoba zonke izinhlobo zezinhlelo zisungula indlela ezizosebenza ngayo.
“Uma ubavumela bakhale kakhulu, lezo zinhlelo zizongena kalula ekucindezelekeni. Siyabona ukuthi lapho sesikhulile - ukuthi abantu abanganakekelwa kahle, bavame ukuvuselela ingcindezi futhi banenkinga yokuzithiba. "
Abacwaningi bathole ukuthi ukudlala ngokukhululekile ngaphakathi nangaphandle kubalulekile ekukhuleni kwengane, kanye nokukhulela endaweni enhle nefudumele yasekhaya.
UNarvaez wayekholelwa ukuthi abantu badinga lezi zinto ezibalulekile kusukela ngesikhathi sokuzalwa. Ngakho-ke, uncoma ukuthi abazali balandele imizwa yabo.
“Kwesinye isikhathi sinabazali abathi uzomosha ingane uma uyilanda uma icindezelekile. Cha, awukwazi ukumosha ingane. Impela niyayimosha ingane uma ningayicosha. Ulimaza intuthuko yabo,” kusho uNarvaez. "... Ngakho landela umuzwa wemvelo wokubamba, ukudlala, ukuxhumana, yilokho ofuna ukukwenza."
Phela ukukhala kwengane kubuhlungu ngesizathu.
Kuthatha Idolobhana
Nakuba umzali engase azizwe ekhululekile ngokuthi akwazi ukucosha ingane yakhe njalo lapho ikhala, lokhu kuyamkhandla ngokushesha, ikakhulukazi uma kunomzali oyedwa kuphela ekhaya kuyilapho omunye esebenza cishe usuku lonke. Umzali wasekhaya angase athwale kanzima ukuze adle, alale, futhi enze imisebenzi eyisisekelo lapho elalela konke ukukhala kwengane.
“Sidinga, njengomphakathi seseke imindeni ukuze inikeze izingane lokho ezikudingayo,” kusho uProfesa Narvaez, otusa ukuhilela ogogo nomkhulu, obabekazi, omalume, umzala, nabangane ekuphileni komntwana.
“Ngempela asizange siphenduke sibe umzali oyedwa. Umlando wethu uwukuba nomphakathi wabanakekeli abazosiza - idolobhana, ukuze kuthi lapho umama noma ubaba edinga ikhefu, kube khona othile olungele ukungena. "
Umthombo: https://theheartysoul.com/
