UngaMyala Kanjani Umntwana Wakho Ngaphandle Kokuthukuthela

How to Discipline Your Child Without Losing Your Temper

Njengomzali, esinye sezinto ezinzima kakhulu ekukhuliseni izingane ukuhlala uzolile ngesikhathi zenza ububi. Kungalindeleka ukuzizwa ukhungathekile lapho ingane yakho ihlola imingcele, ingazihloniphi izinqumo, noma iziphatha ngezindlela eziyihlaba inhliziyo. Kodwa-ke, ukufikelwa intukuthelo kulezi zimo kungaba nomthelela omubi ebudlelwaneni bakho nengane yakho futhi kuphazamise ukusebenza kokuyala. Ukufunda indlela yokuyala ingane yakho ngokuthula nangempumelelo ngaphandle kokufikelwa intukuthelo kubalulekile ekukhuleni kwengane yakho nasenhlalakahleni yakho ngokomzwelo.

Kulo mhlahlandlela, sizohlola amasu okukusiza uhlale uzolile ngenkathi uyala ingane yakho, nokuthi ungawasebenzisa kanjani amasu okuqondisa ngempumelelo akhuthaza ukuziphatha okuhle ngaphandle kokuqubuka kwemizwa.

1. Kungani Ukuhlala Uzolile Kubalulekile Ekuqondiseni

Umthelela Wokufikelwa Intukuthelo
Lapho abazali befikelwa intukuthelo, kungakha isimo esishubile nesesabisa izingane. Kungenzeka zingakuqondi ngokugcwele ukuthi kungani zikhuza, futhi ukusabela ngokomzwelo kungakuvimbela isifundo ozama ukusifundisa. Ukusabela ngolaka kungaphinde kufundise izingane ukuthi ukumemeza noma ukulahlekelwa ukulawula kuyindlela eyamukelekayo yokuxazulula izinkinga, okungenzeka zikulingise ekuziphatheni kwazo.

Okufanele Ukwenze

  • Zibekele isibonelo sokuzilawula ngokomzwelo: Ngokuhlala uzolile ngesikhathi kuqondiswa, ubonisa ingane yakho ukuthi kungenzeka ukulawula imizwa nokusabela ngokucophelela, ngisho noma izinto zinzima.
  • Dala indawo ephephile: Ukuzola kusiza izingane zizizwe ziphephile, zazi ukuthi zingabethemba abazali bazo ukuthi bazosingatha izimo ngokulingana nangokuqonda.

Okufanele Ukugweme

  • Ungasabeli ngokushesha: Gwema ukukhuluma kakhulu noma ukwenza ngenxa yokukhungatheka. Ukusabela ngokushesha kungaqinisa isimo futhi kukushiye uzizwa unecala ngemva kwalokho.

2. Zijwayeze Amasu Okuzilawula Ngokomzwelo

Ukuhlala Uzolile Ngaleso Sikhathi
Kulula ukuhlala uzolile uma usuzijwayeze amasu okuzilawula ngokomzwelo kusenesikhathi. Lokhu kukusiza ukuba usabele ekuziphatheni okungafanele ngaphandle kokucindezeleka ngenxa yemizwa yakho.

Okufanele Ukwenze

  • Thatha umoya ojulile: Lapho uzwa ukukhungatheka kwakho kukhula, yima bese uphefumula kancane, umoya ojulile. Le ndlela elula isiza ukuqalisa ukusabela komzimba wokuphumula futhi ikuvumela ukuba uzibambe ngaphambi kokusabela.
  • Bala kuze kube yishumi: Uma udinga isikhashana ukuze uzole, bala kuze kube yishumi buthule engqondweni yakho. Lokhu kukunika indawo yokuhlanganisa imicabango yakho futhi usabele ngendlela elawuleke kakhudlwana.
  • Suka uma kunesidingo: Uma uzizwa unemizwa kakhulu ukuba ungasisingatha isimo ngokuthula, suka isikhashana. Ukuthatha imizuzu embalwa ukuze uzihlele kabusha kuzokusiza ukuba usabele ngengqondo ecacile nangendlela ezolile.

Okufanele Ukugweme

  • Ungayicindezeli imizwa yakho: Nakuba kubalulekile ukulawula intukuthelo yakho, ungayicindezeli ngokuphelele imizwa yakho. Vuma ukukhungatheka kwakho, kodwa thatha izinyathelo zokukusingatha ngendlela eyakhayo.

3. Qonda Imbangela Eyinhloko Yokuziphatha

Ukukhomba Inkinga Eyisisekelo
Ukuziphatha okungafanele kuvame ukuba uphawu lwenkinga eyisisekelo. Izingane zenza izinto ngoba zinezizathu ezahlukene, kuhlanganise nokufuna ukunakwa, ukuhlola imingcele, ukukhungatheka, noma ukudinga okuthile ezingakwazi ukuveza ngamagama. Ngokuqonda imbangela eyinhloko yokuziphatha, ungasabela ngokufaneleka kakhudlwana futhi uvimbele izinkinga zesikhathi esizayo.

Okufanele Ukwenze

  • Hlola isimo: Thatha isikhashana ukuze uhlole ukuthi kungani ingane yakho iziphatha ngale ndlela. Ingabe ikhathele, ilambile, noma icindezelekile? Ingabe yenza izinto ngoba izizwa inganakwa noma ikhungathekile?
  • Khuluma nengane yakho: Uma isimo sesizolile, cela ingane yakho ukuba ikutshele ukuthi yayizizwa kanjani lapho kwenzeka ukuziphatha okungafanele. Lokhu kukusiza nobabili niqonde imizwa eyisisekelo eyaholela ekuziphatheni.
  • Bhekana nembangela: Uma usuqonda isizathu sokuziphatha, ningasebenzisana ukuze nithole izixazululo. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ingane yakho yenza izinto ngoba ikhathele, qiniseka ukuthi inesikhathi sokuphumula.

Okufanele Ukugweme

  • Ungagxili kuphela ekuziphatheni: Ukugxila kuphela ekujezisweni kokuziphatha okungafanele kungenzeka kungabhekeli izidingo zomzwelo eziyisisekelo noma izimbangela ezakubangela. Thatha indlela ephelele ebheka isithombe esikhulu.

4. Sebenzisa Ukuqinisa Okuhle Esikhundleni Sesijeziso

Ukushintsha Ukugxila Kusukela Esijezisweni Kuya Ekuqiniseni Okuhle
Ukuyala akufanele kuhlale kusho isijeziso. Ukuqinisa okuhle kukhuthaza ukuziphatha okufiselekayo ngokuvuza izenzo ezinhle kunokujezisa kuphela ezimbi. Le ndlela yakha ubudlelwane obuhle kakhulu nengane yakho futhi iyisize izizwe ikhuthazekile ukuziphatha kahle.

Okufanele Ukwenze

  • Kujabulele ukuziphatha okuhle: Lapho ingane yakho ilandela imithetho, ibonisa inhlonipho, noma isingatha isimo esinzima kahle, ncoma umzamo wayo. Qinisa ukuziphatha ofuna ukukubona kakhudlwana, njengokuthi, “Ngiyaziqhenya ngawe ngokuhlanza ngaphandle kokucelwa.”
  • Sebenzisa imivuzo ngobuhlakani: Nikeza imivuzo emincane yokuziphatha okuhle, njengesikhathi esengeziwe sokudlala noma isiphuzo esikhethekile. Lokhu kungakhuthaza ingane yakho ukuba iphinde lezo ziphathimandla.
  • Dala uhlelo lokuvuza: Ukuze kube nokuziphatha okuhle okungaguquki, dala ishadi lemivuzo lapho ingane yakho ingazuza khona amaphuzu noma izinkanyezi ukuze iwine umvuzo omkhulu. Lokhu kudala isikhuthazo esicacile sokuba iqhubeke nezenzo ezinhle.

Okufanele Ukugweme

  • Ungathembeli kuphela esijezisweni: Ukugxila kuphela emigomweni yokuziphatha okubi kungaholela ekucasukeni. Ukuqinisa okuhle kusiza ingane yakho ukuba ifunde futhi ifake engqondweni ukuthi yikuphi ukuziphatha okulindelekile.

5. Setha Imithetho Ecacile Nehlala Ikhona

Ukubaluleka Kokungaguquki Ekuqondiseni
Imithetho ecacile nehlala ikhona isiza izingane ukuba ziqonde ukuthi yini elindelekile kuzo nokuthi yimiphi imiphumela uma zingalandeli imithetho. Ukungaguquki kuqinisekisa ukuthi ingane yakho izizwa iphephile futhi yazi ukuthi yini elindelekile ezimweni ezahlukahlukene, okunciphisa ukudideka nokukhungatheka.

Okufanele Ukwenze

  • Setha imithetho ecacile: Chaza ngokuqondile ukuthi yikuphi ukuziphatha okwamukelekile nokuthi yikuphi okungamukelekile. Ngokwesibonelo, “Asishayi abanye,” noma “Udinga ukuhlanza amathoyizi akho ngaphambi kwesidlo sakusihlwa.”
  • Ungaguquguquki ngemiphumela: Uma umthetho wephulwa, landela umphumela okuyiwona okuvunyelwene ngawo. Gwema ukwenza izinto ezihlukile ngaphandle uma kunesizathu esizwakalayo. Ukungaguquguquki kusiza izingane ukuba ziqonde ukuthi izenzo zinemiphumela.
  • Nikeza izinqumo lapho kungenzeka: Ukunikeza ingane yakho izinqumo ngaphakathi kwemingcele kungayenza izizwe ilawula kakhudlwana. Ngokwesibonelo, “Ungaqeda umsebenzi wakho wesikole manje noma ngemva kwesidlo sakusihlwa.”

Okufanele Ukugweme

  • Ungaguquguquki: Ukushintsha imithetho noma imiphumela njalo kungadida ingane yakho futhi kuyenze ingaqiniseki ukuthi yini elindelekile. Zama ukuhlala ungaguquguquki endleleni yakho.

6. Sebenzisa Izikhathi Zokuphumula Nezokuphumula Okufushane

Izikhathi Zokuphumula Njengendlela Yokuzindla
Izikhathi zokuphumula ziyithuluzi elibalulekile lokusiza abazali nezingane ukuba basuke esimweni esishubile. Ngokukhipha ingane esimweni, uyinika isikhathi sokupholisa umoya nokucabanga ngokuziphatha kwayo, okusiza ukunciphisa ukushuba komzwelo.

Okufanele Ukwenze

  • Sebenzisa izikhathi zokuphumula ngendlela eyakhayo: Uma ingane yakho ingakwazi ukulawula imizwa yayo, phakamisa isikhathi esifushane sokuphumula ukuze uyisize ipholise umoya. Qiniseka ukuthi iyaqonda ukuthi isikhathi sokuzilungisa, hhayi isijeziso.
  • Yenza izikhathi zokuphumula zifanele iminyaka yobudala: Ezinganeni ezincane, imizuzu embalwa yokuthula ingase yanele. Ezinganeni ezindala, nikeza ithuba lokuzindla nokuxoxa ngokuthula ngemva kwalokho.

Okufanele Ukugweme

  • Ungasebenzisi izikhathi zokuphumula njengesijeziso: Izikhathi zokuphumula akufanele zisetshenziswe njengendlela yokuhlaza ingane yakho. Umgomo uwukuninika isikhathi sobabili ukupholisa umoya, hhayi ukudala ukungqubuzana okwengeziwe.

7. Zijwayeze Ukuzinakekela Nokuphathwa Kokucindezeleka

Ukuzinakekela Ukuze Ubhekane Nezingqinamba Zokuba Umzali
Ukuyala ingane kungadonsa amandla ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, ngakho kubalulekile ukuba abazali babeke phambili ukuzinakekela. Ukulawula ukucindezeleka kwakho nokugcina ibhalansi kuzokusiza uhlale uzolile futhi ubekezele ngezikhathi ezinzima.

Okufanele Ukwenze

  • Thatha izikhathi zokuphumula: Zivumele izikhathi zokuphumula nokushaja kabusha. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhamba kancane, isikhathi sokuzilibazisa, noma isikhashana sokuthula nencwadi, izikhathi zokuphumula ezivamile zingakusiza ulawule ukucindezeleka.
  • Lala ngokwanele: Ukuntuleka kokulala kungaba nomthelela omkhulu ekuzilawuleni kwakho ngokomzwelo. Hlela ukuphumula okwanele ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana nezingqinamba zokuba umzali ngokubekezela nangokuqonda.
  • Funa ukwesekwa: Ungangabazi ukuxhumana nomlingani, umngane, noma ilungu lomndeni ukuze uthole ukwesekwa lapho kudingeka. Ukuba nomuntu ongakhuluma naye kunganciphisa ukucindezeleka futhi kunikeze umbono.

Okufanele Ukugweme

  • Ungazishayi indiva izidingo zakho zomzwelo: Uma uhlale ubeka izidingo zabanye phambi kwezakho, ungase ucindezeleke kakhulu futhi ulahlekelwe ukubekezela kalula. Ukuzinakekela kubaluleke njengokunakekela ingane yakho.

Isiphetho

Ukuyala ingane yakho ngaphandle kokufikelwa intukuthelo akugcini nje ngokulawula imizwa yakho—kumayelana nokudala indawo enhle, efukuthazayo lapho ingane yakho ingafunda ukuzilawula, ukuzibophezela, nokuhlonipha. Ngokuzijwayeza ukuzilawula ngokomzwelo, ukubeka imingcele ecacile, ukusebenzisa ukuqinisa okuhle, nokugxila ekuxhumaneni okunempilo, ungakwazi ukulawula futhi ube yisibonelo sokuxazulula izingxabano ngokuhlonipha. Khumbula, ukuqondisa kuyithuluzi lokufundisa, hhayi ukujezisa, futhi uma kwenziwa ngempumelelo, kukhuthaza ukukhula, ukuqonda, nokuxhumana okuqinile phakathi kwakho nengane yakho.

Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo

1. Kufanele ngenzenjani uma ngizizwa ngilahlekelwa intukuthelo yami nengane yami?
Thatha umoya ojulile bese uyathula. Suka esimweni uma kunesidingo ukuze uzole. Ziqinisekise ukuthi kulungile ukuthatha isikhashana ukuze uhlanganise imicabango yakho ngaphambi kokubhekana nokuziphatha.

2. Ngingayivimbela kanjani ingane yami ukuba ihlale ihlola imingcele?
Qiniseka ukuthi imingcele icacile, ihlala ikhona, futhi inengqondo. Ncoma ukulandela imithetho futhi unikeze ukuqinisa okuhle kokuziphatha okuhle. Lokhu kuzosiza ingane yakho iqonde ukubaluleka kokuhlonipha imingcele.

3. Kuthiwani uma ukuziphatha kwengane yami kuqhubeka naphezu kokuqondiswa?
Uma ukuziphatha kwengane yakho kuqhubeka, zama ukuhlola ukuthi kukhona yini izinkinga eziyisisekelo ezibangela ukuziphatha. Cabangela ukulungisa indlela yakho, ukwandisa ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo, noma ukufuna isiqondiso sochwepheshe uma kunesidingo.

4. Ngingayifundisa kanjani ingane yami ukuzilawula?
Sebenzisa ukuqinisa okuhle, beka izinto ezilindelekile ezicacile, futhi ube yisibonelo sokuzilawula. Fundisa ingane yakho ukuba yenze izinqumo ngokuzimela futhi uyisize iqonde imiphumela yezenzo zayo.

5. Ngingahlala kanjani ngibekezela lapho ingane yami ihlale yenza ububi?
Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela ukuze unciphise ukucindezeleka, sebenzisa izikhathi zokuphumula noma izikhathi zokuphumula okufushane lapho kunesidingo, futhi uzikhumbuze ngesithombe esikhulu—ingane yakho iyafunda, futhi ukungaguquguquki kuzoyisiza ukuba ihlakulele ukuziphatha okungcono ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

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