Ukukhulisa izingane ngendlela egxile kakhulu, okwaziwa nangokuthi yi-helicopter parenting noma overparenting, kubhekisela endleleni yokubandakanya kakhulu lapho abazali behlose ukulawula nokubheka cishe zonke izici zempilo yengane yabo. Le ndlela yokukhulisa izingane ivame ukuvela ezinhlosweni ezinhle: ukuqinisekisa impumelelo, ukuphepha, kanye nenhlalakahle yezingane. Kodwa-ke, njengoba umphakathi ushintshela ezintweni ezilindelekile eziphezulu kakhulu ezinganeni, kuyafaneleka ukubuza ukuthi ukukhulisa izingane ngendlela egxile kakhulu kuyasiza ngempela noma kubangela umonakalo ngengozi.
Kuyini Ukukhulisa Izingane Okujulile?
Ukukhulisa izingane okujulile kubandakanya:
- Ukubeka izidingo zezingane kuqala ngaphezu kwazo zonke izinto.
- Ukuqapha kakhulu nokuqondisa imfundo yezingane, imisebenzi, nokuxhumana nabanye.
- Ukuxazululela izingane izinkinga ukuze ziqinisekise ukuthi zibhekana nokungakhululeki okuncane noma ukwehluleka.
- Ukuba nethemba elikhulu lempumelelo kwezemfundo, kwezemidlalo, nakwezenhlalo.
Ngesikhathi le ndlela ivame ukuba yisisekelo sothando nesifiso semiphumela engcono kakhulu, ngezinye izikhathi ingabangela imiphumela engalindelekile ezinganeni nakubazali.
Izinzuzo Zokukhulisa Izingane Okujulile
1. Amathuba Okwengeziwe
Izingane zabazali abakhulisa kakhulu zivame ukubhekana nezinhlobonhlobo zemisebenzi, ulwazi, kanye nezinsiza. La mathuba angabasiza bathole izintshisekelo zabo futhi bathuthukise amakhono ahlukahlukene.
2. Ubuhlobo Obuqinile Bomzali Nengane
Ukubandakanya kakhulu kungaqinisa ubuhlobo bomzali nengane. Izingane zingazizwa zithandwa, zisekelwa, futhi ziphephile, zazi ukuthi abazali bazo bazinikele kakhulu ezimpilweni zazo.
3. Impumelelo Kwezemfundo Nakwezemidlalo
Ngabazali ababambe iqhaza kakhulu emisebenzini yasekhaya, emaphrojekthini, nasekuhleleni imisebenzi eyengeziwe, izingane zivame ukuba ngcono ezindaweni ezihlelekile nasezindaweni ezincintisana kakhulu.
4. Ukuphepha Nokuvikelwa
Ngokuqapha kakhulu izimpilo zezingane zabo, abazali abakhulisa kakhulu banganciphisa izingozi ezingaba khona, njengokuxhashazwa, izindawo ezingaphephile, noma amathonya amabi.
Ububi Bokukhulisa Izingane Okujulile
Naphezu kwezinzuzo zayo, ukukhulisa izingane okujulile kungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu ethinta ukuthuthuka kwezingane ngokomzwelo, ukuzimela, kanye namandla okubhekana nobunzima.
1. Ukuminyanisa Ukuzimela
Lapho abazali behlala bexazulula izinkinga noma benza izinqumo, izingane zingase zibe nobunzima bokuthuthukisa ukuzimela namakhono okucabanga okujulile. Lokhu kungaholela ekuthembekeni nokuntuleka kokuzethemba emandleni azo okubhekana nezinselele.
2. Ukwanda Kwexhala Nengcindezi
Izinto ezilindelekile eziphezulu nokuqapha okungapheli kungadala imizwa yengcindezi nexhala ezinganeni. Zingase zizwe zingcindezi ukuhlangabezana nezindinganiso ezingenzeki, zisaba ukwehluleka noma ukudumaza abazali bazo.
3. Ukuncipha Kwamandla Okubhekana Nobunzima
Izingane ezingavunyelwe ukubhekana nokwehluleka noma ukungakhululeki zilahlekelwa amathuba okwakha amandla okubhekana nobunzima. Ukubhekana nokunqoba izithiyo kubalulekile ekuthuthukiseni ukuzimisela nokukwazi ukuzivumelanisa nezimo.
4. Ukukhathala Kwabazali Nezingane
Izidingo ezingapheli zokukhulisa izingane okujulile zingaholela ekukhathaleni kwabazali nezingane. Ukuhlela ngokweqile nokubandakanya ngokweqile kungashiyeli indawo encane yokuphumula, ukudlala ngaphandle kwemisebenzi, noma isikhathi somndeni sekhwalithi.
5. Ubunzima Bokubhekana Nokuba Mdala
Izingane ezikhuliswe ngendlela egxile kakhulu zingase zibe nobunzima lapho zishiya ikhaya. Ngaphandle kokuqondiswa okuqhubekayo kwabazali bazo, zingase zithole kunzima ukwenza izinqumo, ukubhekana nokwehluleka, noma ukuhamba ezintweni eziyinkimbinkimbi zempilo yabantu abadala.
Ucwaningo Luthini?
Ucwaningo ngokuphathelene nokukhulisa izingane okujulile luveza isithombe esihlukene:
- Imiphumela Emihle: Izifundo zikhombise ukuthi ukubandakanya kwabazali kakhulu kungaholela empumelelweni kwezemfundo nasebuhlotsheni obuqinile bomzali nengane.
- Imiphumela Emibi: Ezinye izifundo ziphakamisa ukuthi i-helicopter parenting ihlotshaniswa namazinga aphezulu okukhathazeka, ukudangala, nokuntuleka kokuzimela ezinganeni, ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi sobusha nangobusha obukhulile.
Okubalulekile ukuthi, ngenkathi ukubandakanya kunenzuzo, ukukhulisa kakhulu kungaba nemiphumela emibi lapho kudlulela emikhawulweni yokulawula ngokweqile.
Indlela Yokulinganisa
Ukuthola ukulingana phakathi kokweseka nokuvumela ukuzimela kubalulekile. Nansi indlela abazali abangakha ngayo indawo yokukhulisa nokuqinisa amandla izingane zabo:
1. Vumela Ukuzimela Okufanele Iminyaka
Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba yenze imisebenzi futhi yenze izinqumo ezifanele iminyaka yayo.
- Isibonelo: Vumela izingane ezincane zigqoke zona, ngisho noma imiphumela ingaphelele. Vumela izingane ezindala zilawule imisebenzi yazo yasekhaya noma zixazulule izingxabano ezincane nabangane.
2. Gxila Ekuzimiseleni Kunokuphelela
Ncoma umzamo nentuthuko yengane yakho kunokuba ugxile nje empumelelweni yayo. Lokhu kwakha ukuzethemba namandla okubhekana nobunzima.
- Isibonelo: “Ngiyaziqhenya ngendlela osebenze kanzima ngayo kulelo phrojekthi,” kunokuba uthi “Ukwenze kahle kakhulu ukuthola u-A.”
3. Yamukela Ukwehluleka Njengithuba Lokufunda
Ukwehluleka kuyingxenye yemvelo yempilo futhi kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokukhula. Fundisa ingane yakho ukuthi izithiyo ziyizitebhisi ezihola empumelelweni.
- Isibonelo: Xoxa ngokuthi yini engahambanga kahle futhi nicabange ngezindlela zokuphatha lesi simo ngokuhlukile ngokuzayo.
4. Hlela Isikhathi Sokuphumula
Gwema ukuhlela ngokweqile ingane yakho ngemisebenzi elandelanayo. Shiya indawo yokudlala ngaphandle kwemisebenzi nokuphumula.
- Isibonelo: Nciphisa izibopho ezingaphandle kwemfundo zibe yimisebenzi eyodwa noma emibili ngenkathi ngayinye ukuze uqinisekise ukuthi ingane yakho inesikhathi sokuphumula.
5. Khuthaza Amakhono Okuxazulula Izinkinga
Melana nesifiso sokuxazulula yonke inkinga yengane yakho. Kunalokho, baqondise ekutholeni izixazululo.
- Isibonelo: Uma ingane yakho ikhohlwa umsebenzi wayo wasekhaya, buza, “Ucabanga ukuthi yini ongayenza ukuze ulungise lokhu?” kunokuba ungenelele ngokuqondile.
6. Yiba Khona Ngaphandle Kokweqa Imingcele
Bonisa intshisekelo nokweseka empilweni yengane yakho ngaphandle kokulawula ngokweqile.
- Isibonelo: Hamba emicimbini yabo futhi ulalele okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, kodwa ubanike isikhala sokuzibophezela ezibophweni zabo.
7. Yiba Isibonelo Sokuphatha Ingcindezi Ngendlela Enhle
Izingane zifunda ngokubuka abazali bazo. Bonisa izindlela ezinhle zokubhekana nengcindezi nezinselele, njengokwenza ukuqonda noma ukuxoxa ngemizwa ngokukhululeka.
8. Gubha Ubuntu Babo
Yonke ingane ihlukile. Gxila ezintweni zabo eziqine kakhulu nezintshisekelo zabo kunokuba ubeke izinto ozilindele noma ubaqhathanise nabanye.
Isiphetho
Ukukhulisa izingane okujulile kunezinzuzo zako, kodwa lapho kudlulela kakhulu, kungaphazamisa ukukhula kwezingane ngokomzwelo, ukuzimela, namandla okubhekana nezinselele. Ukulinganisa phakathi kokubandakanya nokuzimela kuvumela izingane ukuba zithuthukise amakhono ezizowadinga ukuze ziphumelele ngenkathi zigcina ubuhlobo obuqinile, obusekelayo bomzali nengane. Ngokukhuthaza amandla okubhekana nobunzima, ukukhuthaza ukuzimela, nokwamukela ukungapheleli, abazali bangasiza izingane zabo zikhule zibe abantu abadala abazethembayo, abanekhono.
Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo
1. Umehluko phakathi kokukhulisa izingane okujulile nokukhulisa izingane okusekelayo uyini?
Ukukhulisa izingane okusekelayo kubandakanya ukuqondisa nokukhuthaza izingane ngenkathi kuzivunyelwa ukuba zifunde futhi zikhule ngokuzimela. Ukukhulisa izingane okujulile, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuvame ukubandakanya ukulawula ngokweqile nokuphatha impilo yengane.
2. Ngingakugwema kanjani ukuba umzali we-helicopter?
Nikeza ingane yakho izibopho ezifanele iminyaka yayo, zivumele zibhekane nokwehluleka, futhi melana nesifiso sokuzixazululela zonke izinkinga.
3. Ingabe ukukhulisa izingane okujulile kuhlala kuholela ekukhathazekeni ezinganeni?
Hhayi ngempela. Kodwa-ke, ingcindezi eyeqile, izinto ezilindeleke ezingenzeki, nokuntuleka kokuzimela kuhlotshaniswa namazinga aphezulu okukhathazeka ezinganeni, ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi sobusha nangobusha obukhulile.
4. Ingabe kukhona izinga "elifanele" lokubandakanya abazali?
Izinga "elifanele" liyahlukahluka kuye ngeminyaka yengane yakho, ubuntu bayo, nezidingo zayo. Hlose ukusekela ingane yakho ngaphandle kokuyithatha indawo noma ukuminyanisa ukuzimela kwayo.
5. Ingabe ukukhulisa izingane okujulile kungaholela ekukhathaleni kwabazali?
Yebo, izidingo ezingapheli zokukhulisa izingane okujulile zingabangela ingcindezi nokukhathala kubazali, okwenza kubaluleke ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela nokubeka imingcele enempilo.
