Funda ngezinzuzo zokuzijwayeza ukuba ngumzali omuhle futhi uthole izibonelo zokusebenzisa isikhuthazo esikhundleni sokudumisa.
Siphila endaweni lapho kukhona iribhoni eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, inkanyezi esagolide, indebe, noma okungenani “umsebenzi omuhle” oshisekayo! sekuyinsakavukela umchilo wesidwaba—futhi kulindelwe ngisho nokulindelwe—lapho izingane zihlanganyela emsebenzini othile, kungakhathaliseki umzamo noma umphumela wazo. Abaningi banomuzwa wokuthi le mikhuba ibalulekile ekwakheni ukuzethemba kwengane futhi ayinangozi, kodwa empeleni ayiyona into efanayo.
Nakuba ngasinye salezi zenzakalo singenaso esiyingozi ngasodwa, futhi ngezinye izikhathi sifaneleka ngokuphelele, umkhuba wokuqhubeka uncoma noma uncoma ingane ngokweqile ungaba. Inkinga ngokunconywa ukuthi izingane ziqala ukulindela ukuqashelwa njalo futhi ngokuphambene ziyethuka lapho zingakutholi. Bafinyelela ekuthembeleni ekudunyisweni kwangaphandle kunokuthuthukisa ugqozi lwangaphakathi noma ukuzethemba emakhonweni abo asafufusa. Bayeka ukwenza izinto ngoba kufanele noma bengakwazi, futhi esikhundleni salokho bazenzele ukuze baqashelwe.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokukaCarol Dweck, Ph.D., uprofesa waseColumbia University, izingane ezithembela ekudunyisweni zizifaka engozini ezimbalwa, ngoba azizimisele ukulahlekelwa isikhundla sazo esitusekayo. Lapho izingane zifuna ukutuswa (ngokuqaphela noma ngokungazi), zivamise ukugwema noma yini ezingeke “ziyilungile,” okuyishwa ngoba amaphutha, uvivinyo kanye namaphutha, kanye nokubeka engcupheni kuyizici ezibalulekile zanoma iyiphi inqubo yokufunda.
Umthelela wokudumisa enganeni uqala kusenesikhathi. Ocwaningweni olwenziwa uDkt. Dweck, izingane ezinezinyanga eziyishumi nane zase ziqale ukwakha imibono ngazo namakhono azo ngokusekelwe ekudumiseni abazali bazo. Njengoba izingane zikhula, uma zizichaza ngokwamamaki amahle kuphela, ngokuwina, noma nini lapho zithola ukunconywa, zizozizwa zingafaneleki noma zingafaneleki uma lezi zinto zingekho, isb, umhlaba wangempela.
Ngakho yini okufanele siyenze esikhundleni salokho? Nikeza isikhuthazo.
Njengenye indlela yokudumisa umphumela wokugcina wengane noma wengane ngokwayo, kufanele sinikeze isikhuthazo ngemizamo yabo nesimo sengqondo. Isikhuthazo singakhuthaza futhi sikhuthaze—ukugudluza okumnene, okusekelayo okusiza izingane zifinyelele imigomo ebalulekile—esikhundleni sokuzichaza nokukhawulela.
Futhi lapho situsa izingane, kufanele kube okuqotho: ukudumisa okuqondile, isib. egxile ekuziphatheni, isb, “Uqhamuke nesixazululo esinobuhlakani obukhulu,” kunokuba kugxile kumuntu, isib., “Uhlakaniphe kakhulu.”
Ocwaningweni lukaDkt. Dweck, izingane ezithole ukukhuthazwa zazivame ukukholelwa ukuthi ukuhlakanipha kwazo kungashintsha futhi zingenza kangcono uma zingazama kanzima, kuyilapho izingane ezituswayo zizwa ukuthi ukuhlakanipha kwazo kulungisiwe futhi kakade, ngisho naseminyakeni encane, zazigwema. okuhlangenwe nakho okubonakala kuyinselele.
Izibonelo Zokudumisa Ngokuqhathaniswa Nesikhuthazo
Ukudumisa Okujwayelekile noma Okugxile Kumuntu
- Umuhle njalo
- Umsebenzi omuhle
- Uyingane ehlakaniphile
- Yeka isithombe esihle
- Uqinisekile ukuthi unamandla
- Uhleleke kakhulu
- Ngiyaziqhenya ngawe
Isikhuthazo noma Ukudumisa Kwangempela
- Ngithanda inhlanganisela yamaphethini okhethe ukuwagqoka namuhla.
- Wanamathela kulokho—ukuzikhandla kwakho kwaba nemiphumela emihle.
- Ngingakutshela ukuthi usebenza kanzima ekufundeni ngoba uqede incwadi ende.
- Imibala oyikhethele lokho kushona kwelanga ihlukile.
- Bekungokokuqala ukuthi ugxume intambo ungakhubeki.
- Ngiyayazisa indlela ohlele ngayo ishalofu—lenza kube lula ukuthola yonke into.
- Ubukeka uziqhenya ngawe! Ufakazile ngempela ukuthi ungakwenza.
Ngokuqinisekile—isikhuthazo singase singaqedi ulimi kalula, kodwa kuwufanele umzamo. Nazi ezinye izinzuzo ezengeziwe zokukhuthaza izingane kunokuzincoma.
Okwenziwa Amazwi Akhuthazayo Ekuthuthukiseni Ingane Yakho
- Bona futhi ukhuthaze ukukhula nokuzikhandla okuqhubekayo
- Nciphisa amathuba okuqhathanisa noma okuncintisana
- Gqugquzela ukuzimela ngokuqonda ukuthi amakhono angaphakathi angafinyelela izidingo nezinto azifunayo
- Gcizelela umzamo, inqubekelaphambili, nentuthuko, kunokugxila emiphumeleni
- Bona umnikelo kunokuqedwa, noma ikhwalithi phezu kobuningi
- Khuthaza ukubekezela, kunokuba unikezele, uma imiphumela yokuqala ingemihle njengoba bekulindelekile
- Khuthaza umbono wakho, ngokuphambene nokuqhathanisa.
- Nikeza ngokulungiselela izinselele zomhlaba wangempela, lapho ukuvela nje kungeke kuzuze ukuqashelwa
- Yakha ukuzimisela nokuzethemba, isib, “Nginamandla okwenza izinto eziningi uma ngisebenza kanzima,” esikhundleni sokwakha ukuzethemba okungamanga, isib, “Ngihlakaniphe kakhulu. Ngingenza noma yini.”
- Khuthaza ukuzimela.
Izingane ezithola isikhuthazo noma ukudunyiswa kwangempela nazo ziyakwazi ukuqina. Ngenxa yokuthi bagxile emizamweni yabo futhi bakholelwa ukuthi bangashintsha izimo zabo ngokuzimisela noma ngokufunda, abazanyazanyiswa ubunzima.
Izingane eziye zanconywa ngenxa yesici somuntu esingaguquki, njengokuhlakanipha noma ukubukeka kwazo okuhle, zididwa izithiyo futhi zizibheke njengombono womuntu siqu kunethuba lokukhula. Ukwengeza, izingane ezithola izitikha noma ama-high-five ngokwenza imisebenzi evamile njengokugqoka izicathulo zazo ziqala ukulindela ukunconywa lapho ukunconywa kungabizwa, futhi zizithathele mathupha lapho zingafiki (okuzokwenzeka nakanjani njengoba zikhula. ). Ukudumisa kuba okubaluleke kakhulu kunokuphumelela.
Yebo, kulungile ukuveza ukuziqhenya ngengane yakho; kuyindlela engokwemvelo yokubonisa uthando nokusekela. Kodwa uma ukuzethemba nokuthuthuka kuyimigomo, isikhuthazo siyisu eliwusizo kakhulu. Lapho izingane zethu zizodwa futhi zibhekene nenselele, siyazi ukuthi ngeke kuzisize ukucabanga, “Kungani ngingakwazi ukwenza lokhu? Kufanele ngihlakaniphe ngokwanele,” kodwa kuzobasiza ukuthi bacabange ukuthi, “Lokhu kunzima, kodwa ngomzamo ngingahle ngikuthole.”
Njengabazali, kuningi esingakwenza kule minyaka emisha ukwakha lolo hlobo lokucabanga zisuka nje. Asikho isidingo sokuthatha izinyathelo ezinqala futhi uhlwithe inkomishi yokubamba iqhaza kwebhola ezandleni zengane yakho, kodwa imicabango ethile namazwi esikhuthazo ngomzamo nokukhula kwengane yakho kuyo yonke indawo kuzoqinisekisa ukuthi injabulo yayo ivela emakhonweni ayo athuthukayo nokuzethemba amakhono ayo. kunomklomelo ocwebezelayo ohlezi eshalofini.
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