Iseluleko Sokukhulisa Abantwana Osishayile Indiva (Nokuthi Kungani Singalunganga)

The Parenting Advice You Ignored (And Why It Was Not Wrong)

Cishe wonke umzali angakhumbula iseluleko sokukhulisa izingane akhethe ukungasilandeli. Kungenzeka ukuthi sivela encwadini, kochwepheshe, kumalungu omndeni, noma kumuntu owayenenhloso enhle kodwa engamazi umntwana wakho. Ngesikhathi esinjalo, ukungasinaki leso seluleko kungenzeka ukuthi kwakungakhululekile noma kwakungabazeka, ikakhulukazi lapho umyalezo ufakwe njengobalulekile ekukhuliseni izingane okuhle.

Uma sibheka emuva, abazali abaningi baba nomuzwa wecala mayelana nalezi zikhathi. Bazibuza ukuthi ngabe izinto zazingalula, zithule, noma zizophila kahle uma babalalelile. Okungavamile ukwamukelwa ukuthi ukunganaki iseluleko kuvame ukuba uphawu lokuzwela kunokuhluleka. Izinqumo zokukhulisa izingane zenziwa ngesikhathi sangempela, ngaphansi kwengcindezi yangempela, futhi iseluleko asihlali sibhekana neqiniso.

Iseluleko Sokukhulisa Izingane Asivamile Ukuba Sikhanyiselwe Ngesimo

Iseluleko esiningi sokukhulisa izingane sinikezwa ngathi imindeni ikhona ezindaweni ezilawulwayo. Sithatha ukuthi kukhona izindlela ezihlanganayo, amandla angokomzwelo, izinhlelo zokusekela eziqinile, nezinsuku ezibikezelwe. Imindeni embalwa kakhulu ehlala ngaphansi kwalezo zimo.

Abazali benza izinqumo bejuggling izidingo zomsebenzi, ukukhathala ngokomzwelo, ukucindezeleka kwezimali, izinkinga zezempilo, kanye nobudlelwane bomndeni. Lapho iseluleko singazinaki lezi zinto ezingokoqobo, ukusilandela kungakhuphula ukucindezeleka kunokukunciphisa. Ukukhetha ukungasilandeli iseluleko esingahambisani nesimo sakho sokuphila akukhona ukugwema. Kungukuqonda.

Isikhathi Singenza Iseluleko Esihle Sibe Yingozi

Ezinye izeluleko aziliphutha, kodwa zisetshenziswa ngesikhathi esingalungile. Amasu asebenzayo ngezikhathi ezithulile avame ukuhluleka lapho umntwana ekhathazekile, ekhathele kakhulu, noma ecindezelekile ngokomzwelo. Izigaba zokuthuthuka nazo zibalulekile ngaphezu kokwazisa iseluleko.

Abazali bavame ukwazi lapho isikhathi singalungile. Ukungazinaki izeluleko kulezo zikhathi akukhona ukwenqaba ukufunda. Kungukuqonda ukuthi amandla ezingane ayashintsha usuku nosuku, futhi izimpendulo zabazali kufanele zilungiseke ngokufanele.

Umqondo Awuphikisani Nolwazi

Abazali bavame ukukhuthazwa ukuba bathembeke kochwepheshe kunemibono yabo, njengokungathi umqondo ungokomzwelo futhi awuthembekile. Eqinisweni, umqondo wakhiwe ezinkulungwaneni zokubhekwa kwansuku zonke okungekho sihloko noma umhlahlandlela ongakuthatha.

Abazali baqaphela izinguquko ezincane esimweni sengqondo, emandleni, nasekubuseni. Lapho iseluleko siphikisana nalokho abakubonayo ngokuphindaphindiwe, ukungakhululeki kuwulwazi. Ukunganaki iseluleko esiphikisana nesipiliyoni esiphilayo kuvame ukuba isenzo sokuphendula kunokungahloniphi.

Lapho Iseluleko Sikhuphula Ukucindezeleka, Siyeka Ukusiza

Iseluleko sokukhulisa izingane kufanele sisekele ukulawulwa, hhayi ukusinciphisa. Uma ukulandela isu ngokuqhubekayo kukhuphula ukukhathazeka, ukungqubuzana, noma ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, kungenzeka ukuthi akulungile kulo mndeni.

Abazali abaningi balahla iseluleko ngoba senza ukuphila kwansuku zonke kube nzima, hhayi ngoba bancishwe ukuqeqeshwa noma ukuzibophezela. Ukucindezeleka kuvame ukuba uphawu lokuthi indlela ayihambisani nezidingo zengane noma amandla omzali. Iseluleko esivimbela umndeni akufanele silandeleke ngokuthembeka.

Iseluleko Esifanela Bonke Abantu Siyahluleka Ezinganeni Zangempela

Izingane ziyahlukahluka kakhulu esimweni sazo, ekuzweleni, ekulawuleni imizwa, nasekuphuthumeni kokuthuthuka. Iseluleko esisebenza kahle kwenye ingane singadida enye.

Izingane ezizwelayo kakhulu, izingane ezikhathazekile, izingane ezinokuzimisela okukhulu, nezingane ezine-neurodivergent zivame ukudinga izinto ezilungiselelwe lapho iseluleko esivamile singakuvumeli. Abazali abanganaki iseluleko ngoba singahambisani nengane yabo baphendula ngokufanele umehluko, abenzi izaba.

Iseluleko Sivame Ukuthatha Ukuthi Abazali Banekhono Elikhulu

Amasu amaningi okukhulisa izingane athatha ukuthi abazali banokubekezela okungapheli, isikhathi, nokutholakala ngokomzwelo. Lokhu kuthatha akuyona into engokoqobo futhi ayikwazi ukuhlala isikhathi eside.

Abazali banemikhawulo, futhi leyo mikhawulo ibalulekile. Iseluleko esidinga abazali ukuba basebenze ngaphezu kwamandla abo sivame ukudala ukukhathala nokucasuka. Ukunganaki iseluleko esinjalo kungaba isenzo sokuzilondoloza esizuzisa nengane ekugcineni.

Kungani Icala Lihlala Ngemuva Kokunganaki Iseluleko

Isiko lokukhulisa izingane livame ukubeka iseluleko njengesiqondiso sokuziphatha kunokuba sibe umhlahlandlela. Ukusilandela kubonakala njengokukhulisa izingane okunomthwalo wemfanelo, kuyilapho ukusunganaki kubekwa njengephutha lomuntu siqu.

Lokhu kudala icala elihlala isikhathi eside, ikakhulukazi lapho kuvela izinselele kamuva. Abazali baphinda izinqumo ezindala futhi bazibuze ukuthi ngabe konke kwakungahlukile yini uma babalalelile. Eqinisweni, imiphumela yezingane ibunjwa izici eziningi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, hhayi ngesiphakamiso esisodwa esinganakiwe.

Lokho Ukunganaki Iseluleko Okufundisa Abazali

Lapho abazali bekhetha ukungasilandeli iseluleko, bavame ukufunda okuthile okubaluleke kakhulu esikhundleni salo. Bafunda ukuthi yini ekhuphula ukucindezeleka, yini esekela ukulawulwa, nokuthi yini eqinisa ubudlelwane emndenini wabo othize.

Lokhu kufunda kwakha ukuzethemba nokuqonda. Kuvumela abazali ukuba benze izinqumo ngokusekelwe ebufakazini obuvela ezimpilweni zabo kunokuba kube imithetho engacacile. Lolu lwazi alunakutholwa ngeseluleko kuphela.

Ukunganaki Iseluleko Kuvame Ukuba Ukuzivumelanisa Nezimo, Hhayi Ukwenqaba

Abazali abavamile ukulahla iseluleko ngokuphelele. Ngokuvamile, basivumelanisa nasesimweni sabo ngendlela ethule.

Bathatha izingxenye ezizwakala zilusizo bese beshiya ezinye. Balungisa ithoni, isikhathi, noma izinto ezilindelekile ukuze zihambisane namandla engane yabo. Lokhu kuzivumelanisa nezimo kungukukhulisa izingane okunekhono, noma ngabe akubukeki njengokuthobela izincwadi.

Lapho Iseluleko Siphikisana Namagugu Omndeni

Ezinye izeluleko zingqubuzana namagugu omndeni mayelana nenhlonipho, ukubonakaliswa kwemizwa, noma ubudlelwane. Abazali bangase bangazishayi mkhuba ngoba ukuzilandela kungadinga ukwenza okuphikisana nalokho okuzwakala kulungile.

Lokhu akukhona ukuphikelela. Kungubuqotho. Izinqumo zabazali azigcini nje ngokusebenza kahle, kodwa futhi zimayelana nokukhulisa izingane ngezindlela ezihambisana namagugu abambelele kakhulu. Amagugu abaluleke njengemiphumela.

Ukubona Ngemuva Konakalisa Izinqumo Zokukhulisa Izingane

Ukubuka emuva kuvame ukwenza iseluleko esinganakiwe sizizwe sisindwa kunesikhathi saso. Abazali babuka izinqumo zakudala ngelensi yobunzima bakamuva, bakha umbono wokuthi isinqumo esisodwa sibangele konke okulandelayo.

Ukukhulisa izingane akusebenzi ngokuqondile. Izingane ziyakhula, izimo ziyashintsha, futhi ukuthuthuka kubunjwa isipiliyoni esikhulayo kunokuba kube izinqumo eziqhelelene. Ukubona ngemuva kwenza lula inqubo eyayiyinkimbinkimbi futhi iguquguquka.

Ukuyeka Ukudinga Ukubhala Kabusha Okwedlule

Abazali akudingeki ukuba babuyekeze zonke izeluleko ezashaywa indiva ngokuzisola. Ukukhulisa izingane kunamandla, akubuthakathaka.

Izingane ziyazuza kakhulu ekuxhumaneni okukhona manje nasekunakekelweni okuphendulayo kunabazali abaphethe icala elingaxazululiwe. Ukuyeka ukuzibeka icala kudala isikhala esiningi sokukhulisa izingane okuzolile, okuqinile manje.

Indlela Yokuhlola Iseluleko Ngaphandle Kwengcindezi

Iseluleko esiwusizo kufanele sizizwe siseka kunokuba sifune. Kufanele sivumele indawo yokwahlulela, ukuzivumelanisa nezimo, nokuzindla.

Abazali bangabuza ukuthi iseluleko sinciphisa yini ukucindezeleka, sithuthukisa ukuxhumana, futhi sihambisana yini nezimo zabo zangempela. Uma singenjalo, ukusibeka eceleni kunengqondo. Iseluleko siyithuluzi, akusiyo incwadi yemithetho.

Lapho Ukunganaki Iseluleko Kwakuyisinqumo Esifanele

Uma ukunganaki iseluleko kwagcina ukuphepha kwengane yakho ngokomzwelo, kwagcina ukuxhumana, noma kwanciphisa ukucindezeleka ekhaya lakho, kwakungaliphutha.

Uma ukulandela iseluleko kwakuzodinga ukudlulisa imizwa yakho, amagugu akho, noma amandla akho, ukuhlehla kwakufanele. Ukukhulisa izingane okuhle akukhona ngokulalela izeluleko. Kumayelana nomthwalo wemfanelo kubantu bangempela ezimeni zangempela.

Yini Izingane Ezifunda Kubazali Abaqondayo

Lapho izingane zibona abazali bejabulela izeluleko, zifunda ukuthi isimo siyabaluleka. Zifunda ukuthi imithetho ayifanele ngempela nokuthi ukuguquguquka kuyingxenye yokuxazulula izinkinga.

Lokhu kufana nokuqonda, ukuzindla, nokuzivumelanisa nezimo. La makhono asekela izingane ngaphezu kobuntwana nangaphandle.

Ukukhulisa Izingane Akusiyo Isivivinyo Ngezimpendulo Ezilungile

Iseluleko sivame ukwenza ukukhulisa izingane kube ukudlala, lapho konke ukukhetha kuzwakala kukalwe. Ukukhulisa izingane kwangempela kungoketshezi, kungokobudlelwane, futhi kuyaguquguquka.

Azikho izindlela eziphelele, kuphela ezizwelayo. Abazali bavunyelwe ukushintsha izindlela, bahlole kabusha izinkolelo, futhi bakhule kanye nezingane zabo. Ukunganaki iseluleko ngezinye izikhathi kuyingxenye yalokho kukhula.

Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo Mayelana Neseluleko Sokukhulisa Izingane Osinganaki

Ingabe ukunganaki iseluleko sokukhulisa izingane kusho ukuthi ngihlulekile ngomntwana wami?

Cha, ukunganaki iseluleko kuvame ukusho ukuthi umhlahlandlela awuhambisani nengane yakho, isikhathi, noma izimo. Ukukhulisa izingane kudinga ukwahlulela, hhayi ukuthobela okungaboni, futhi ukuphambuka okucatshangelwe kuyingxenye yokunakekelwa okuphendulayo.

Ngazi kanjani ukuthi iseluleko sini okufanele ngisilandele?

Iseluleko esisekelayo ekulawuleni, ekuxhumaneni, nasekusimameni sivame ukusiza kakhulu. Uma iseluleko sikhuphula ukucindezeleka noma sinciphisa ukuzethemba kwakho, kungenzeka ukuthi akulungile emndenini wakho.

Kungani ngisazizwa nginecala ngokunganaki iseluleko?

Icala livame ukuvela emasikweni ahlanganisa iseluleko negunya. Ukuzizwa unecala akusho ukuthi uphutha, kuphela ukuthi okulindelekile kwakungelona iqiniso.

Ingabe ukunganaki iseluleko kungalimaza izingane?

Ukunganaki iseluleko ngokucabanga akuzilimazi izingane. Ukucindezeleka okungapheli, ukuxhumana okunganele, nokukhulisa izingane okuqinile kwenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokuphambuka okukhethiwe kumhlahlandlela.

Ingabe abazali kufanele bahlale bethemba imizwa yabo?

Umqondo kufanele ucabangwe kanye nolwazi, ungaqashwa noma ulandelwe ngokungaboni. Ukulinganisa phakathi kolwazi nesipiliyoni esiphilayo kuholela ezinqumweni eziqinile kakhulu.

Ingabe kulungile ukushintsha izindlela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi?

Yebo, ukuzivumelanisa namasu njengoba izingane zikhula kuwuphawu lokuphendula. Ukukhulisa izingane kuyinqubo, akusiyo uhlelo oluhleliwe.

Iseluleko sokukhulisa izingane osinganaki akusona isiphosiso ngempela. Kwakuyimpendulo ezimweni zangempela, amandla angempela, nengane yangempela. Ukukhulisa izingane akukhona ngokulandela imiyalelo ngokuphelele. Kumayelana nokwenza izinqumo ezicatshangelwe ngaphansi kwengcindezi nokulungisa lapho kudingeka. Lapho abazali bezithemba ukuthi bangazivumelanisa neseluleko kunokuba basilalele, bakha imindeni elawulwa kangcono, exhunyiwe, futhi eqinile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

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