Uma kuziwa endabeni yokuba umzali, kunensada yolwazi nemibono—ikakhulukazi kulabo abahlela ingane yabo yokuqala. Eqinisweni, amanye amanga avamile futhi amukelwa kangangokuthi angase abizwe ngokuthi inganekwane.
Namuhla ngihlola izinganekwane ezivamile okungenzeka ukuthi wawuzikholelwa esikhathini esithile ngaphambi kokuba ube umzali. Yebo, lezi zinganekwane zivame ukuba neqiniso elithile eliqukethwe kuzo, kodwa kudinga okuhlangenwe nakho ukuqaphela ukuthi akukhona konke esikuzwayo mayelana nokukhulisa izingane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuphindaphindwa kaningi kangakanani, okulungile.
1) Ungamosha ingane yakho
Awukwazi ukumosha ingane. Izingane zidinga ukuphathwa, ukuthandwa, futhi zondliwa ngaso sonke isikhathi. Bafana namadoda. Nabesifazane. Awu, linda, bafana nabantu abancane abanezidingo ezifanayo nalezi mina nawe esinazo.
Ingqondo ishaywa!
Izingane zinezisu ezincane ngakho isidingo sazo sokudla sihlala njalo, futhi zinesimiso sezinzwa ezingavuthiwe futhi azikho izinkumbulo zangaphambili zothando ezingaqhubeka ziphila, ngakho isidingo sazo sothando nokuthinta sihlala njalo. Nokho, kuyisidingo. Ukungazinaki isidingo somntwana sothando kuwukungagcwalisi into eyidinga kakhulu esemncane - ukuphepha kokwazi ukuthi labo abaseduze kwayo bayayithanda futhi bayasabela ezidingweni zayo.
2) Ukulala ndawonye akuphephile
Kube nezinhlelo ezithile zezempilo zomphakathi ezibaliwe ezifuna ukukholisa imindeni ukuthi ingahlanganyeli nezingane zayo. Leli iqhinga elithakazelisayo kodwa elidabukisayo elingase futhi lilimaze ubuhlobo bokuncelisa (okuvame ukuzuza ngokulala ndawonye) futhi libangele abazali ukuba “bafihle” iqiniso mayelana nokuba umzali wabo wasebusuku. Lokhu kungaletha ngaphansi kwezimo eziphephile kumazinga ahlukahlukene.
Eqinisweni ZIKHONA izindlela zokulala ngokuphephile eduze noma nengane yakho ezizuzisa bonke abahilelekile. Bheka umsebenzi ovela kuDkt Kathleen Kendall-Tackett wokuthola abameli bezempilo yomphakathi nokuncelisa ibele ukuthi basebenzisane ukuze bathole imiphumela engcono nxazonke.
3) Ukuba nezingane kuchitha impilo yakho
Kumelwe ngivume ukuthi kusukela ngaphandle ngibheka phakathi, impilo yami cishe ibukeka incithakalo kancane ngezinye izinsuku, ikakhulukazi uma lowo muntu engibheka kusukela ku-lens engu-20 ubudala ebona nje imithwalo.
Kodwa ukuba nezingane akukonakali ukuphila kwakho. Iyakushintsha, kodwa isengaba yinhle ngisho noma ingafani. Akukho lutho olungalungile ngezinto ezibalulekile ezibalulekile njengoba ukhula futhi wengeza abantu abaningi kumbuthano wakho ongaphakathi. Izinto engizazisayo manje zihluke kakhulu kunezinto engangizazisa eminyakeni engu-20 edlule. Kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi ngingase ngihlakaniphe nakakhulu kunalokho engangiyikho ngaleso sikhathi.
Futhi, usengenza amathani ezinto ezimnandi nezijabulisayo ngemuva kokuba nezingane, kuzomele ushintshe ngokufanele. UNGAKWAZI ukuhamba, ukuqwala, ukuzivocavoca, ukufunda futhi ukhule nezingane. Kwesinye isikhathi uhamba nabo, kwesinye isikhathi ubashiye nomnakekeli onothando. Futhi yebo, ezinye izinto zingadinga ukulinda iminyaka embalwa. Ungakhathazeki, azihlali zincane unomphela. Kungenziwa.
4) Ukuba nezingane kumosha umsebenzi wakho
Lokhu kuyathakazelisa, ngoba njengomama oncelisayo owayefuna ukuchitha ingxenye enkulu yosuku lwami nengane yami, wawungekho umsebenzi owawuqhubeka.
Khona-ke.
Ukudalulwa okuphelele, ngaphambi kokuba ngibe nengane yami yokuqala ngineziqu zasekolishi, kodwa ngasebenza njengoweta futhi ngaba umphathi webhikawozi. Ngangingeyona into ekhethekile. Ngempela.
Ngabe sengiba nenqwaba yezingane. Ngabanakekela futhi ngihlala nabo futhi ngenza izinto eziningi zokunamathisela umzali.
Ngabe sengithola umsebenzi wami wemfundo yokubeletha.
Izingane zami zingabantu abenze umsebenzi wami waba yimpumelelo. Banginika umdlandla, ugqozi, ugqozi lokuphuma ngizame ukwenza ukukhulelwa, ukuzalwa, nokuncelisa kube okuhlangenwe nakho okungcono kwabanye abazali. Kungaleso sikhathi lapho ngaqala khona umsebenzi wami wemfundo yokubeletha futhi ikhule ngokuphawulekayo ukusuka lapho. Ngibe namathuba amaningi okubhala, ukufundisa, ukuvakasha nokuhlangana nabantu abamangalisayo ngenxa yalolu thando. Futhi ngokungananazi, ngikweleta konke emndenini wami.
5) Izingane zilunyulwa ngonyaka owodwa
Lokhu kungaba yiqiniso, kodwa izingane ezisacathula zingancelisa isikhathi eside kunalokhu! Ngikhumbula ngibuka umngane wami emhlengikazi enezinyanga eziyi-15 owayegijima ngezikhathi ezithile ezofuna ukudla okulula phakathi kokudlala, futhi ecabanga ukuthi kwakuyinto exakile emhlabeni.
Ngagcina ngincelisa indodana yami isikhathi eside kunaleso.
Ngike ngaba nezingane ezimbalwa ezilunyuliwe cishe onyakeni, kodwa ubuhlobo bokuncelisa bunganweba isikhathi eside kunalokhu futhi bube buyajabulisa futhi bube nezinzuzo eziningi kubo bobabili umama nengane (noma ingane encane.)
6) Izingane zilala kangcono zodwa
Lena ivele ingenze ngifune ukuhleka kakhulu.
Ngibe nengane elale kahle yodwa. Nami nganginababili ababelala kahle nathi kuphela, noyedwa owayengalali kahle waze waba neminyaka emibili, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wayekuphi.
Vula izidingo zengane yakho kanye nezidingo zakho. Ngiyakuzonda ukunikeza abantu izeluleko zokulala ezibambekayo ngoba kukho konke ukwethembeka, yonke imindeni, isimo, kanye namandla ahlukile. Uma wena nengane nilala kakhulu lapho nisegunjini elilodwa, kwenzeni lokho. (Uma ungakwenza ngokuphepha.)
Kuyangimangaza ukuthi kulula kangakanani lokhu kubantu (ukulala eduze nengane yabo) kodwa nokho ukuthi kubonakala kuwuguquko kangakanani osukwini lwethu lwanamuhla. (Kunezindlela eziningi zokusiza ingane ukuba ilale kahle, futhi.)
7) Ogogo nomkhulu abazi lutho
Ngibona inzondo enkulu yogogo nomkhulu laphaya. Mhlawumbe lokhu ngokwengxenye kungenxa yeseluleko esibi abanye babo abasinikezayo mayelana nendlela okufanele uwunikeze ngayo okusanhlamvu kwakho kwelayisi okunezinyanga ezintathu ubudala, noma ukuthi izingane zilala kahle kanjani emabhodini aphansi emoto futhi, “ukwenzile lokho futhi kwaba kuhle kakhulu.”
Nakuba ngivuma ukuthi noma yimuphi umzali wanoma iyiphi iminyaka anganikeza iseluleko esibi, ngiyakuzonda ukubona abazali bengasena neze iseluleko sikagogo nomkhulu, ukuhlakanipha, nolwazi olwazuzwa kanzima eminyakeni eminingi yokwenza lokho esizama nje ukuthola ukuthi kwenziwa kanjani. Yamukela okuhle okuvela kubazali bakho.
8) Izikrini "ziyafundisa"
Ngizozibonakalisa njengodayiwe e-Waldorf dork okwamanje, kodwa ngiyavuma, angisithandi isikhathi sesikrini sezingane ezincane. Kungase kube nemidlalo yokufundisa ku-ipad noma ifoni yezingane ezisacathula, ngisho nezinsana. Bangase babe nokuqukethwe okuhle. Abantula kona yizona kanye izinto izingane kanye nojahidada OKUDINGA UKUZIFUNDA ngempela besebancane.
Badingani? Nakuba ukufunda kubalulekile, akukhona lokho okufanele izingane zikwenze. Kufanele ukuthi bakha ubudlelwano futhi bafunde ukwenza kanjalo nalabo ababazungezile. Kufanele bafunde ukukhuluma, ukuhamba, ukuhlola, ukufunda, kanye (okubaluleke kakhulu) nothando.
Isikrini asibenzeli lokhu, abanye abantu abamangalisayo bayakwenza.
9) Ukutshala imali enkulisa kanokusho kuwumqondo omuhle
Uma uzithola ukhulelwe, into yokuqala iningi lethu eliyenzayo ukuya esitolo esikhulu samabhokisi futhi sibhalisele inqwaba yezinto ezihlanganiswe ngemibala ezizothembisa ngandlela thize ukwenza impilo ibe yinhle ngengane.
Bwhahahaha!
Besingenangqondo kanjani. Yeka ukuthi kuncane kangakanani esasikwazi.
Ngenza uhambo olufanayo ngiya esitolo esifanayo futhi ngakhetha zonke izinhlobo zezinto ezazidingeka ku-layette.
Eminyakeni eyi-10 kamuva, ngiba nobunzima bokuqonda ukuthi kungani kubalulekile. Izingane zibona cishe amayintshi angu-12. Lokho kusho ukuthi bangabubona ubuso bakho. Babengakwazi ukunaka imihlobiso noma umbhede (uma befuna nokulala lapho) noma izingubo noma izingubo zokulala zikanokusho. Bafuna wena nje. Sonke isikhathi namandla esiwatshala kuzo zonke lezo zinto…yeka ukumosha.
Uma ufuna ukutshala imali enganeni yakho, misa ukudla okunomsoco ukuze abe nomama ongenalo ingcindezi kulawo masonto ambalwa okuqala okuphila. Lokho kuyoba okubaluleke kakhulu kunombala wekamelo.
10) Omama abancelisayo balala kancane
Kukhona lo mbono wokuthi uma ufuna ukulala kahle njengomama, udinga ukwethula ifomula. Ngisho nalabo abancelisayo batshelwa ukuthi “banikeze ibhodlela ngaphambi kokulala” ukuze ingane ilale ubusuku bonke.
Lokhu kuzwakala njengesixazululo esiphelele seminyaka embalwa yokuphaphama, ngaphandle kokuthi akulona iqiniso ngempela. Ngiyawuthanda umsebenzi kaDkt Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD, IBCLC, nombhali u-extraordinaire, ngale ndaba. Uthole ukuthi abesifazane abancelisa ibele KUPHELA empeleni balala kakhulu futhi banokucindezeleka okuncane.
Ukuvunguza ingqondo, akunjalo?
Ungayeki ubuhlengikazi ngenkolelo eyiphutha yokuthi ukwenza kanjalo kuletha ubuthongo obuningi.
Enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ongazifunda njengomzali ayikwazi ukutholwa ohlwini. Ikakhulukazi, sidinga nje ukufunda ukwethemba intuition yethu, sazi izingane zethu, futhi sikhumbule ukuthi injabulo noma injabulo akuyona into engathengwa esitolo noma ebolekwe komunye umuntu.
