Ukuba umzali omangalisayo akusho ukuthi unazo zonke izimpendulo noma awenzi amaphutha. Kumayelana nokuhlala ukhona njalo, ufunde endleleni, futhi udale indawo enothando, esekelayo ukuze ingane yakho ichume. Ubuzali bungazizwa bukhulu, kodwa ngisho nezenzo ezincane, ezinenjongo zingaba nomthelela omkhulu enjabulweni nasenhlalakahleni yengane yakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubhekene nokuquleka kwezingane ezisencane, amaphrojekthi esikole, noma imizwa yentsha, nazi izindlela ezingama-20 ezilula kodwa ezinamandla zokuthuthukisa amakhono akho okuba umzali nokwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nengane yakho.
1. Yiba Khona
Izingane zipela uthando ngokuthi “T-I-M-E.” Okunye kwezinto ezinomthelela omkhulu ongazenza njengomzali ukunikeza ukunaka kwakho okuphelele. Beka phansi ifoni yakho, cima i-TV, futhi uchithe isikhathi sekhwalithi nengane yakho. Lokhu kungaba lula njengokudlala umdlalo webhodi, ukupheka ndawonye, noma ukumane ubalalele bekhuluma ngosuku lwabo. Ukuba khona kukhombisa ingane yakho ukuthi iyigugu futhi iyathandwa.
2. Lalela Ngokukhuthalo
Ukulalela ngokukhuthalo akukhona nje ukuzwa ingane yakho—kumayelana nokuqonda ngempela. Uma ingane yakho ikhuluma, yeka okwenzayo, yenza ukuxhumana ngamehlo, futhi ulalele ngaphandle kokuphazamisa. Cabangisisa ngalokho ekushilo ukuze ubonise ukuthi uyaqonda. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ingane yakho ithi, “Ngicasukile ngoba umngani wami wangiziba,” ungase uphendule ngokuthi, “Kumele ukuba lokho kwabuhlungu ngempela. Ufuna ukukhuluma ngakho?” Lokhu kuyenza izwe ukuthi ilalele futhi kuqinise ukwethemba.
3. Khombisa Uthando Olungenamibandela
Izingane zidinga ukwazi ukuthi ziyathandwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani. Ingane yakho akufanele neze izwe sengathi idinga ukuzuza uthando lwakho ngokufeza izinto noma ukuziphatha okuhle. Yisho “Ngiyakuthanda” njalo futhi ukukhombise ngokugona, ngamagama okuqinisekisa, nangezenzo. Ngisho nalapho enza amaphutha, mqinisekise ngothando lwakho futhi umqondise ngobumnene ekukhetheni okungcono.
4. Beka Imingcele Ecacile
Izingane ziyaphumelela ezindaweni lapho imingcele icacile futhi iqhubeka. Ukubeka imithetho nokuchaza izizathu ezibangela ukuthi ibe khona kusiza izingane ziqonde okulindelekile. Ngokwesibonelo, esikhundleni sokumane uthi, “Ungakuthinti lokho,” chaza, “Asiwuthinti isitofu ngoba siyashisa futhi singakulimaza.” Imingcele ecacile isiza izingane zizwe zilondekile ngenkathi zifunda ukuhamba emhlabeni ngokuzibophezela.
5. Yiba Ongaguquki
Ukungaguquki kuyisisekelo sobuzali obusebenzayo. Uma ubeka imithetho, hlukanisa nayo. Uma isikhathi sokulala singu-8 PM, qinisekisa ukuthi sihlala sinjalo. Ukungaguquki kungadida izingane futhi kwenze kube nzima ukuthi zilandele iziqondiso. Ukuba ongabikezela ezimpendulweni zakho ekuziphatheni, kungaba okuhle noma okubi, kusiza izingane zizwe zilondekile futhi ziqonde okulindelekile.
6. Khuthaza Ukuzimela
Ukukhuthaza ukuzimela kuvumela ingane yakho ukuba ikhule ibe umuntu ozethembayo futhi okwaziyo. Banike izibopho ezifanele iminyaka, njengokupakisha isikhwama sabo sesikole noma ukukhetha izingubo zabo. Ukubavumela ukuba benze izinqumo, ngisho nezincane, kubafundisa amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga futhi kukhulise ukuzethemba kwabo. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase ubuze, “Ungathanda ama-apula noma ubhanana esidlweni sakho sanamuhla?” Lokhu kukhetha okulula kubanikeza amandla.
7. Gubha Umzamo, Hhayi Impumelelo Kuphela
Nakuba kuhle ukugubha impumelelo, ukuncoma umzamo kubaluleke kakhulu. Yamukela ukusebenza kanzima nokubambelela kwengane yakho, ngisho nalapho umphumela ungawona ophelele. Ngokwesibonelo, yisho, “Ngiyaziqhenya ngokuthi usebenze kanzima kangakanani kulowo puzzle,” esikhundleni sokugxila kuphela ekutheni iwuqedile yini. Lokhu kubafundisa ukubeka inani enanini elidlula umphumela futhi kwakha ukukwazi ukubekezela.
8. Yenza Isibonelo Sokuziphatha Okuhle
Izenzo zakho zivame ukukhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi akho. Uma ufuna ingane yakho ibe nomusa, ihloniphe, futhi ibekezele, kufanele wena uqobo ube yisibonelo salokhu kuziphatha. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ulahlekelwa ukuzithiba kwakho, kukhombise bese uyaxolisa: “Ngiyaxolisa ngokuphakamisa izwi lami ngaphambili. Kufanele ngabe ngikusingathe ngendlela ehlukile.” Izingane zifunda ngokukubuka, ngakho zama ukuba umuntu ofuna zibe yikho.
9. Dala Imikhuba Yomndeni
Amasiko nemikhuba yomndeni ihlinzeka ngomuzwa wokuba yingxenye nokuzinza. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukupheka amakhekhe eSonto, izindaba zokulala, noma ubusuku be-movie bamasonto onke, lezi zikhathi zakha izinkumbulo ezithandekayo. Imikhuba futhi iqinisa izibopho zomndeni futhi inikeza ingane yakho okuthile okungazibheka phambili.
10. Hlala Uzolile Phakathi Nokuquleka
Izingane zivame ukuziphatha kabi lapho zizwa zikhungathekile, futhi ukuquleka kuyingxenye yemvelo yokukhula kwazo. Uma ingane yakho ikhala, hlala uzolile. Phefumula kakhulu bese uzama ukunciphisa isimo. Yamukela imizwa yabo ngokuthi, “Ngiyabona ukuthi ucasukile. Asikhulume lapho usulungele.” Ukuhlala uzolile kusiza ingane yakho izizwe iphephile futhi kuyifundisa ukulawula imizwa yayo.
11. Fundisa Ukulawula Imizwa
Ukusiza ingane yakho iqonde futhi ilawule imizwa yayo kuyikhono elibalulekile lempilo. Bayifundise ukuqamba imizwa yabo, kungaba injabulo, ukukhungatheka, noma ukudabuka. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uthi, “Kubukeka sengathi ukhungathekile ngoba awukwazi ukuxazulula le puzzle. Asithathe ikhefu bese sizama futhi kamuva.” Babonise izindlela eziphilile zokubhekana nayo, njengokuphefumula kakhulu, ukubhala phansi, noma ukuxoxisana.
12. Chitha Isikhathi Somuntu Ngamunye
Hlakaniphisa isikhathi somuntu ngamunye nengane ngayinye, ngisho noma kuyimizuzu engu-10-15 ngosuku. Sebenzisa lesi sikhathi ukuxhumana, ukulalela, nokwenza izinto ezijatshulelwa yibo. Ngokwesibonelo, enye ingane ingathanda ukupheka amakhukhi nawe, kanti enye ingathanda ukudlala ibhola egcekeni. Lokhu kunaka okugxilile kwenza ingane ngayinye izizwe ikhethekile futhi iyigugu.
13. Khuthaza Ubuciko
Ubuciko bubalulekile ekuzivezeni nasekuxazululeni izinkinga. Nikeza amathuba ukuze ingane yakho ihlole uhlangothi lwayo lokudala, kungaba ngokudweba, ukwakha ngamabhulokhi, ukubhala izindaba, noma ukudlala insimbi. Gwema ukuyala ngokweqile umdlalo wabo futhi ubavumele bazame ngokukhululeka—akukhona ngomphumela wokugcina kodwa ngenqubo.
14. Yiba Ogwebile
Azikho izingane ezimbili ezifanayo, futhi ngisho nengane efanayo ingaba nezidingo ezihlukile ezigabeni ezihlukene. Ukugwebeka kukuvumela ukuba uguqule isitayela sakho sokuba umzali ukuze uhlangabezane nezidingo eziyingqayizivele zengane yakho. Ngokwesibonelo, intsha ingase idinge ukuzimela okwengeziwe, kanti ingane encane ingase idinge ukuqinisekiswa okwengeziwe.
15. Fundisa Ukubonga
Ukubonga kukhuthaza injabulo nokwaneliseka. Fundisa ingane yakho ukuba izazise izinto ezincane ngokubonisa ukubonga wena uqobo. Ngokwesibonelo, ngesikhathi sedina, ningakwazi ukwabelana ngento eyodwa enibonga ngayo. Lo mkhuba olula uhlakulela umqondo omuhle futhi ukhuthaza umusa.
16. Khuthaza Uthando Lokufunda
Khuthaza ilukuluku nothando lokufunda ngokuhlola izihloko ezintsha ndawonye. Funda izincwadi, buka ama-documentaries, noma uvakashele amamyuziyamu. Bonisa intshiseko yokutholwa nokuxazulula izinkinga. Lapho izingane zibona ukufunda kujabulisa futhi kuthakazelisa, zivame ukuthuthukisa uthando oluhlala njalo ngakho.
17. Beka Phambili Ukuzinakekela
Awukwazi ukuthela esitsheni esingenalutho. Ukunakekela impilo yakho yomzimba nengqondo kukwenza ube umzali ongcono. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuhamba, ukujabulela umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa, noma ukumane uphumule, ukuzinakekela kukuvuselela futhi kusetha isibonelo engane yakho mayelana nokubaluleka kwenhlalakahle yomuntu siqu.
18. Vumela Amaphutha
Vumela ingane yakho yenze amaphutha futhi ifunde kuwo. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ikhohlwa umsebenzi wayo wesikole, yivumele ibhekane nemiphumela yemvelo kunokuyihlangula. Lokhu kufundisa ukuzibophezela nokukwazi ukubekezela. Bayikhumbuze ukuthi amaphutha ayisici esivamile sokufunda nokukhula.
19. Khombisa Ukuzwelana
Ukuzwelana kukusiza ukuxhumana nengane yakho ezingeni elijulile. Uma ingane yakho icasukile, zama ukubona isimo ngombono wayo. Ngokwesibonelo, uma icasukile ngamathoyizi aphukile, esikhundleni sokukuziba, yisho, “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi ucasukile ngani. Kunzima lapho into oyithandayo iphuka.” Lokhu kuqinisekisa imizwa yabo futhi kukhombisa ukuthi unaka.
20. Hlekani Ndawonye
Ukuhleka yisixhumanisi esihlanganisa imindeni. Yabelana ngamahlaya, dlala imidlalo eyize, noma ubuke i-movie ehlekisayo ndawonye. Ukuhleka kwakha injabulo futhi kuqinisa ubuhlobo benu. Kuyindlela enhle yokunciphisa ukucindezeleka kokubili wena nengane yakho.
Isiphetho
Ubuzali akukhona ngaphezu kokuphelela—kumayelana nenqubekela phambili. Ngokufaka lezi zindlela ezingu-20 ezilula kodwa ezinamandla empilweni yakho yansuku zonke, ungaba umzali omangalisayo ingane yakho emdinga. Isinyathelo ngasinye osithathayo siqinisa ubuhlobo benu futhi sakha indawo enothando, esekelayo lapho ingane yakho ingachuma khona. Khumbula, abazali abahle abaphelele; bakhona, banothando, futhi bazimisele ukukhula kanye nezingane zabo.
Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo
1. Ngingakwazi kanjani ukusingatha ukucindezeleka kwabazali ngenkathi ngisasebenza?
Gxila ekuzinakekeleni, beka izinto ezilindelekile ezinengqondo, futhi wakhe inethiwekhi yokusekela yabangane noma umndeni ongakusiza.
2. Kuthiwani uma ingane yami ingaphenduli emizamweni yami?
Ukungaguquki kubalulekile. Kungase kuthathe isikhathi ukuze ingane yakho iqaphele noma iphendule ekushintsheni, kodwa ungayeki. Izinguquko ezincane ziyakhula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
3. Ngingabusingatha kanjani ukungqubuzana phakathi kwezingane ngaphandle kokukhetha uhlangothi?
Babakhuthaze ukuba baxazulule ukungqubuzana ngokwabo ngokubaqondisa ukuba bakhulume ngemizwa yabo futhi bathole izixazululo ezifanele.
4. Ngingakwazi yini ukuba umzali omuhle ngisho noma ngenza amaphutha?
Yiqiniso! Ubuzali yinqubo yokufunda, futhi amaphutha ayisici semvelo. Okubalulekile ukuwabona, uxolise, futhi ufunde kuwo.
5. Yini into ebaluleke kakhulu umzali angayenzela ingane yakhe?
Khombisa uthando olungenamibandela. Ingane ezizwa ithandwa futhi iyigugu izokhula inokuzethemba nokuqina ngokomzwelo.
