Ukungaboni ngaso linye kuyingxenye yobudlelwano, kodwa uma izingxabano zikhula zibe yizimpi ezivamile, ezishisayo phambi kwezingane, imiphumela ingaba mibi kakhulu. Ukulwa kwabazali akudali nje indawo yasekhaya engakhululekile—kungaba nomthelela omkhulu empilweni yengqondo nemizwa yengane. Ukuqonda ukuthi lezi zingxabano zithinta kanjani izingane nokusebenzisa izindlela ezinempilo kungasiza ekuvikeleni inhlalakahle yazo nasekusunguleni isimo esihle somndeni.
Ukulwa Kwabazali Kubuthinta Kanjani Ubuntu Bengane Engqondweni
1. Ukwanda Kwesiyaluyalu Nokukhathazeka
Izingane zikhula kahle ezindaweni ezizizwa ziphephile nezithembekile. Uma abazali belwa, ikakhulukazi ngamazwi aphakeme noma ukuziphatha okunolaka, kungadala umuzwa wokungaphephi. Lokhu kungaqiniseki kungabonakala njengokukhathazeka, ukukhathazeka, noma ingcindezi, njengoba izingane zesaba ukuzinza komndeni wazo.
2. Izinselelo Zokulawulwa Kwemizwa
Izingane zifunda indlela yokuphatha imizwa ngokubuka abazali bazo. Ukuchayeka njalo engxabanweni engaxazululiwe kungazifundisa izindlela ezingafanele zokubonisa intukuthelo noma ukukhungatheka, okuholela ebunzimeni bokulawula imizwa yazo njengoba zikhula.
3. Umthelela Ku-Self-esteem
Izingane zingathatha ingxabano yabazali zibe yezazo, zikholwe ngephutha ukuthi yizo imbangela yezingxabano. Lokhu kungaholela emizweni yokuzisola, ukungasizi ngalutho, noma ukungazithembi, okungaqhubeka kuze kube yisekhula uma kungaxazululwa.
4. Izinkinga Zokuziphatha
Ukulwa kwabazali kungaholela ezinkingeni zokuziphatha ezinganeni, njengolaka, ukungahloniphi, noma ukuzihlukanisa. Zingase zilingise ingxabano ezibona ekhaya, zenze okungalungile esikoleni noma nontanga, noma zingase zihoxe ngokuphelele ukuze zigweme ukucindezelwa okwengeziwe.
5. Ubunzima Bokwakha Ubudlelwano Obunempilo
Izingane ezibona izimpi ezivamile zingase zibe nobunzima bokwakha ubudlelwano obuphephile nobethembekile kamuva ekuphileni. Zingase zesabe ingxabano, zigweme ukuxhumana okuseduze, noma ziphinde izindlela ezinobuthi ezizibone ebudlelwaneni babazali bazo.
6. Ingozi Yokudangala Nezinkinga Zempilo Yengqondo
Ucwaningo luxhumanisa ingxabano yabazali engapheli nengozi eyandayo yokudangala, ukuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka, nezinye izinselele zempilo yengqondo ezinganeni. Ukuchayeka isikhathi eside kuma-hormone okucindezeleka okubangelwa izimpi ezivamile nakho kungathinta kabi ukuthuthukiswa kobuchopho.
Kungani Izingane Ziba Sengozini Kakhulu
Izingane azinazo izindlela zokubhekana nezinkinga abantu abadala abazithuthukise ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Azikuqondi ngokugcwele ukuxakaniseka kobudlelwano babantu abadala, okwenza kube nzima ngazo ukuhlela izingxabano. Kunalokho, ziyamunca amandla emizwa asemagumbini, okungazishiya zizwa zicindezelekile futhi zingenakusiza.
Indlela Yokunciphisa Umthelela Wokulwa Kwabazali
1. Gwema Ukulwa Phambi Kwezingane
Noma nini lapho kungenzeka, xazulula ukungaboni ngaso linye kude nezindlebe namehlo engane yakho. Uma ukungaboni ngaso linye kuqala ukukhula, misa ingxoxo kuze kube yilapho ungaxoxa ngayo ngasese.
2. Qinisekisa Ingane Yakho
Uma ingane yakho ibona ingxabano, qinisekisa yona ngemva kwalokho ukuthi ukungaboni ngaso linye akukuthinti uthando lwakho ngayo noma ukuzinza komndeni wakho. Yazise ukuthi ayinakho iphutha ngengxabano.
3. Yiba Isibonelo Sokuxazulula Ingxabano Ngendlela Enempilo
Bonisa ukuxhumana okunenhlonipho nokuxazulula izinkinga. Bonisa ingane yakho ukuthi ukungaboni ngaso linye kungaxazululwa ngokuthula nangokwakhayo. Isibonelo, sebenzisa izitatimende ezi-"Ngi" esikhundleni sokusola, njengokuthi, “Ngizizwa ngikhungatheke lapho…” esikhundleni sokuthi, “Uhlala…”
4. Dala Indawo Yasekhaya Ezinzile
Umuzwa wokujwayelekile nokulindelekile ungasiza ukulinganisa imiphumela emibi yokungaboni ngaso linye okungavamile. Ukudla okungaguquki, amasiko okulala, nokusebenzisana komndeni okuhle kusiza izingane zizwe ziphephile.
5. Funa Usizo Lochwepheshe Uma Kunesidingo
Uma izingxabano zivama noma zinzima kakhulu, cabanga ngokwelulekwa ngomndeni. Uchwepheshe anganikeza amathuluzi namasu okuthuthukisa ukuxhumana nokunciphisa umthelela enganeni yakho.
Ezinye Izindlela Ezinempilo Esikhundleni Sokulwa Phambi Kwezingane
1. Sebenzisa Ithoni Ethulile
Ngisho nasekungaboni ngaso linye, zama ukugcina ithoni yezwi ethulile futhi ezolile. Izingxabano ezishisayo zingakhula ngokushesha, zishiye izingane zizwa zikhathazekile.
2. Beka Imingcele Yezingxabano
Vumelana nomlingani wakho ngemingcele yokusingatha ingxabano. Isibonelo, zibophezele ekugwemeni ukumemeza, ukubizana ngamagama, noma ukuxoxa ngezindaba ezibucayi phambi kwezingane zakho.
3. Thatha Ikhefu Lapho Kunesidingo
Uma imizwa iphakeme, susuka bese ubuyela engxoxweni kamuva lapho bobabili bezozile. Lokhu kubonisa ukuzilawula enganeni yakho.
4. Gxila Ezixazululweni, Hhayi Ukusola
Shintsha ukugxila kwezingxabano ekukhombeni ngeminwe uye ekutholeni izixazululo. Le ndlela inciphisa ukungezwani futhi ibonise ingane yakho ukusebenzisana.
Izimpawu Zokuthi Ukulwa Kwabazali Kungase Kuthinte Ingane Yakho
- Ukwanda kwesiyaluyalu noma ukuncintisana
- Ubunzima bokulala noma amaphupho amabi avamile
- Ukuncipha kokusebenza kahle kwesikole noma ukugwema imisebenzi yokuxhumana nabantu
- Ukuziphatha okunolaka noma ukuzihlukanisa
- Ukubonisa ukuzisola noma ukuzisonga (“Yiphutha lami ukuthi nilwa”)
- Izikhalazo ezingokomzimba ezivamile njengamakhanda noma izinhlungu esiswini, ezingahlobana nokucindezeleka
Uma ubona lezi zimpawu, kubalulekile ukubhekana nesimo futhi ucabange ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe ukuze usekele ingane yakho.
Isiphetho
Ukulwa kwabazali kungathinta kakhulu impilo yengqondo yengane, kodwa akukaze kube sekwephuzile ukwenza izinguquko. Ngokubeka phambili ukuxhumana okucacile, ukuxazulula ingxabano ngendlela enempilo, nokuqinisekiswa kwemizwa, abazali banganciphisa umthelela wokungaboni ngaso linye futhi badale indawo enothisa kakhulu. Khumbula, akukhona ngokugwema ingxabano ngokuphelele kodwa ukuyisingatha ngendlela eyakha ukuphepha, uthando, nenhlonipho.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
1. Kukangaki ukulwa okuningi kakhulu ukuthi izingane zikubone?
Ayikho inani eliqondile lengxabano “ephephile” ezinganeni. Izingxabano ezivamile, ezishisayo, noma ezingaxazululiwe zilimaza kakhulu. Ukungaboni ngaso linye okungavamile, okuzolile okuxazululwe ngokwakhayo kungabonisa izingane izindlela ezinempilo zokusingatha ingxabano.
2. Kufanele ngenze njani uma ingane yami ibona ingxabano?
Khuluma nengane yakho ngemva kwalokho. Qinisekisa yona ukuthi ingxabano ayisho ukuthi umndeni usenkingeni nokuthi ayinakho iphutha. Uxolise ngesimo bese uchaza ukuthi ukungaboni ngaso linye kuyingxenye evamile yobudlelwano.
3. Kungathinta yini ukulwa kwabazali izingane ezincane kakhulu noma izinsana?
Yebo. Ngisho noma izinsana zingawaqondi amagama, zingazizwa ukungezwani nokucindezeleka okungokomzwelo. Amazwi aphakeme, athoni olaka, namandla amabi kungenza zizwe zingakhululekile noma zikhathazekile.
4. Ngingayifundisa kanjani ingane yami ukuxazulula ingxabano ngendlela enempilo?
Yiba isibonelo sokuxhumana okunenhlonipho ekhaya. Bazise ukuba bazwakalise imizwa yabo besebenzisa izitatimende ezi-"Ngi", balalele ngokucophelela, futhi bathole izixazululo esikhundleni sokusola abanye. Ukudlala indima ezimweni ezithile nakho kungasiza.
5. Kufanele sihlale ndawonye ngenxa yezingane naphezu kokulwa njalo?
Ukuhlala ndawonye ebudlelwaneni obunenkinga enkulu kungase kulimaze kakhulu kunokuhle. Izingane zizuza kakhulu endaweni ezinzile, enothando, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zinabazali bobabili ndawonye noma zihlukene. Uma ingxabano iqhubeka njalo, cabanga ngokwelulekwa noma ngokuhlola kabusha isimo ngenhlalakahle yawo wonke umuntu.
