U-Laura Markham, PhD, umbhali we -Pearent Parent, Izingane Ezijabulisayo , unamacebiso akhe angahlangene nokukhetha phakathi kokubeka phansi kanye nesihlalo sokuvala isikhathi. Kunalokho, konke kumayelana nobuhlobo bakho nengane yakho.
1. Xhuma .
Bekela eceleni "imizuzu engu-10 yesikhathi esikhethekile nawe nsuku zonke enganeni ngayinye. Ibize ngokuthi 'isikhathi sikaHana' noma 'isikhathi sika-Ethan,' ukuze zazi ukuthi imayelana nayo. Ngolunye usuku, bakhetha okufanele bakwenze. Kodwa gxila kukho konke ukunaka kwakho enganeni yakho, ngayo yonke inhliziyo yakho.
“Qiniseka ukuthi noma yiziphi izingane zakini zimatasa kwenye indawo -- bese ubeka ifoni yakho kude! Amaphesenti angu-90 okuxhumana kwakho nengane yakho kufanele kube mayelana nokuxhuma ukuze amukele u-10% mayelana nokulungisa."
2. Lawula eyakho imizwa kuqala .
"Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyiphi inkinga - amamaki amabi esikoleni, ukucasuka, ukwenqaba ukudla isidlo sakusihlwa -- ngaphambi kokuthi ungenelele nengane yakho, hlala uqala ngokuzola. Ezikhathini eziningi, inkinga ngengane yakho ingase izwakale njengesimo esiphuthumayo, kodwa akunjalo. Ungadonsa umoya bese usuka kude ukuze uzole futhi ube umzali ofuna ukuba nguye.”
3. Xhuma kabusha lapho ubeka imingcele.
"Musa ukumemeza, 'Hlanza i-Legos yakho, sekuyisikhathi sokulala,' ekhishini. Hamba uye lapho ekhona, wehle ezingeni lakhe, ubheke ukuthi wenzani. Sihlala sigijimisa izingane. ishejuli. Thatha iminithi ukuze uhlale phansi futhi uncome akwenzile -- bese ukhuluma ngakho isikhathi sokulala. Uma ubeka umkhawulo wakho ngozwela, maningi amathuba okuba abambisane naye."
4. Ungawuvali umlomo .
"Uma ingane yakho ithi, 'Ngiyazizonda izibalo! Angeke ngiphinde ngiye esikoleni!' mhlawumbe akagcini nje ngokuba nzima.Imizwa ephakemeyo isho ukuthi kukhona okwenzekayo.Uma uvele uthi,'Impela uzoya esikoleni, yenza umsebenzi wesikole,' uvale umnyango ukuze uthole ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngempela.
Kunalokho, vula umnyango ngokuthi, 'Kuzwakala sengathi awuzithandi ngempela izibalo. Ungangitshela ngakho?' Lokho kusiza ingane izizwe iphephile ukukuvulela isifuba."
5. Zamukele izinyembezi.
"Ingxenye yomsebenzi wakho njengomzali ukusiza ingane yakho ukulawula imizwa yayo, futhi ngezinye izikhathi sonke sidinga ukukhala. Abazali bacabanga ukuthi uma izingane zikhala kufanele uzithulise ngokushesha, kodwa okuphambene nalokho. Zifundise ukuthi lezo zinkulu. imizwa, njengokulimala nentukuthelo, ayiyona ingozi. Uma ubona ingane yakho iba nokuhlanya noma inolaka, thatha iminithi ukwamukela ukucasuka kwakho (bheka ithiphu No. 2) bese ushintshela ekubeni nozwelo nozwela.
“Umsebenzi wakho uwukusiza ingane yakho ukuthi izizwe iphephile ngokwanele ukuba iveze imizwa emikhulu, neyesabekayo -- futhi yebo, ngisho uyivumele ukuthi iphazamiseke lapho izingalo zakho ziphephile. Uma engakwazi ukuzichaza, ungamsiza ukuthi akubonise ngokubeka imingcele yomusa, usho into efana nokuthi 'Oh sweetie, ngiyabona ukuthi ucasukile. Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi lokhu kunzima.'
6. Thatha isikhathi esiningi sokuhleka.
"Izingane zidinga ukuhleka kwesisu. Beka eceleni isikhathi sokuziphatha kabi kanye nenhlese. Ukuhleka kusiza izingane zizizwe ziphephile, futhi kuzisiza ukuba zishintshe lapho kufanele zikushiye ziye esikoleni noma umzanyana, ngoba zizizwa zixhumene.
“Kodwa angikuncomi ukukitaza ukuze izingane zihleke. … Ayifezi inhloso yokukhululwa, futhi ingenza izingane zizizwe zingalawuleki.”
7. Gwema umbango wezikhundla.
"Sitshelwa njengabazali ukuthi yithina okumele siphathe, izingane zenze lokhu esikushoyo. Kodwa akekho onqobayo umbango wezikhundla, ungabambeki ekuvezeni ukuthi ngubani umphathi.
Ngokwesibonelo, uma ingane yakho ihlale ingafuni ukudla kwakusihlwa, cabanga ngezidingo zangempela ezihilelekile. Uma ethi akalambile manje kodwa bese elambile, mhlawumbe usuke eqonde. Ingabe ukuphela komhlaba uma edla isidlo sakhe sakusihlwa ngenkathi ufunda isikhathi sokulala indaba?"
8. Ungazithatheli mathupha.
"Uma ingane yakho iphatheke kabi futhi iqhulula imivimbo, imvamisa akukhulunywa ngawe. Ungaphindi uphindisele. Uma ingane yakho ikudelela, ngizozama ukuyiphendula ngithi, 'Hhawu! asikhulumisani ngaleyo ndlela. Kumelwe ukuba uphatheke kabi ukukhuluma nami kanjalo.' Lokho kuvula umnyango wokukhuluma esikhundleni sokukhula."
9. Siza ingane yakho ifunde ukuzithiba.
"Ukuzithiba kuwukudela into oyifunayo ngenxa yento oyifunayo. Lokho kubalulekile njengoba ingane ikhula. Uma ifuna ukwenza kahle kokuthile, kufanele ifunde ukuzilawula ezindaweni ezinzima. Uma amathrekhi akhe esitimela ewinile. ukungakwazi ukuhlangana noma iphazili yakhe inzima kakhulu, zwelana nokukhungatheka futhi ukhuthaze ingane yakho ukuba ixazulule inkinga."
10. Ungalokothi uphazamise ingane edlalayo.
"Kulungile, awukwazi njalo ukuwulandela lowo mthetho. Kodwa ukudlala kuwumsebenzi wengane. Uma ithanda ukwenza into kangangokuthi izilahlekele kuyo, lolo hlobo lwentshiseko nokugeleza okuzodinga ukuphumelela kunoma yini eyenzayo. kwenze njengomuntu omdala."
Umthombo https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/top-ten-parenting-tips
